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This week’s episode we were joined by Isaac and Angie Tolpin to talk about what the word “Christian” actually means anymore, why so many kids are walking away from the church by 18, raising children in an AI world, and why your child’s faith might be purer and further along than your own.
We have known the Tolpin’s for over twelve years. We did ministry together, shared a home church, and we watched them go from six kids to nine, from an online ministry to a planted church, from podcasters to published authors.
The question that we started this week’s episode with was: could you let your own child tell you that you failed them and not get defensive? Angie experienced this firsthand. For her, what came from that moment was humility, reconciliation, and fruit.
What does “Christian” even mean anymore?
Early on, Angie and Isaac shared how the word Christian doesn’t carry the same weight it once did. Calling yourself a Christian and actually following Christ are two different things. As she put it, a lot of people are Christians but not Christ followers. Jesus said we will know them by their fruit, and that is still true today. As parents, the question we have to ask is — what fruit are we producing in our homes?
Your kids might have more faith than you.
Jesus said it plainly: “Unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). We talk about discipling our kids, but what if in some moments, they’re the ones ahead of us? Our son Elliot has called us out mid-conflict with a gentleness and clarity that humbled us.
Isaac and Angie have built their entire ministry — and now their church — around the idea that children belong in the room. Not just tolerated. Actually included, valued, and called up.
Raising kids in the age of AI.
If you’re not teaching your kids how to use AI tools, you are failing to prepare them for the world they’re stepping into. At the same time, we also must build their creative confidence before they ever touch technology. If they don’t know what they’re capable of on their own, they’ll just hand everything to the machine.
We talked about a lot more in this episode — biblical community, the high rates of kids walking away from faith, and what Isaac and Anggie say is the one thing that actually prepares your children for an unknown future.
Listen to the full episode, and then go pick up their book, Courageous Parenting: Biblical Parenting in Unprecedented Times, available now on Amazon.
Episode Summary
Episode Outline:
Host: Aaron Smith (Marriage After God) Guest: Isaac and Angie Tolpin, hosts of the Courageous Parenting Podcast, founders of Be Courageous Ministry, parents of nine, and authors of Courageous Parenting: Biblical Parenting in Unprecedented Times Focus: What “Christian” actually means in today’s world, why kids are walking away from the church, and how to raise courageous, faith-rooted children in an AI age
Introduction
Aaron opens with the question: could you let your own child tell you that you failed them and not get defensive? Isaac and Angie introduce themselves — nine kids, sixth grandchild on the way, hosts of the Courageous Parenting Podcast, and founders of Be Courageous Ministry. They share the context behind launching their new book on the same day as the recording, why books are on the rise even in the age of AI, and why they distilled over 400 podcast episodes into 31 biblically grounded topics.
Key Themes
What “Christian” even means anymore
- The word Christian has lost much of its weight — calling yourself one and actually following Christ are two different things
- Angie’s distinction: a lot of people are Christians but not Christ followers, and fruit is still the clearest indicator
- Parents are waking up to the need to vet community more carefully — who you can trust around your children, and why
The biblical community crisis
- The most frequently asked question Be Courageous gets: how do I find or build biblical community?
- How the American church shifted from quantity time and multi-generational fellowship to a one-hour event model — and what’s been quietly lost
- Acts 2:42 as the early church blueprint: teaching, fellowship, breaking of bread, and prayer — together
- What happens when people visit the Tolpins’ church for the first time and discover what they didn’t know they were missing
Keeping families together in worship
- The fruit of having children present for sermons, baptisms, communion, and worship — conversations that lead to discipleship
- How age-segregation, even well-intentioned, cuts off those natural on-ramps
- Children rising to the level of responsibility and inclusion they’re given — and what happens when they’re invited in instead of separated out
Your child might be further along than you
- Jesus’ words in Matthew 18: unless you become like children, you have no part in the kingdom
- What it means to not “force faith” on your children vs. what it means to raise them as believers from the beginning
- Aaron’s framework: our job is to encourage belief, not create doubt — Satan’s job is causing doubt, so why partner with him?
Humility as a parenting discipline
- Why apologizing to your children isn’t a loss of authority — it’s the model of reconciliation Scripture calls all of us to
- Angie’s story: disciplined by God before speaking on the mother-daughter bond, reconciling with her own child, and the “thank you, Mom” that followed
- How parents who can’t receive correction from their children may be hiding pride behind their role
- The communion accountability: you can’t take it rightly if you haven’t reconciled with the people in your home
Raising kids in the age of AI
- AI is not going away — it’s already in every app, every tool, every industry
- Why ignoring it as a homeschool parent is failing your children’s future
- The double-edged sword: AI removes barriers to creativity and entrepreneurship in ways that are genuinely exciting — and also poses risks deeper than social media
- The key principle: build creative confidence before they ever touch AI, so they use it to amplify their gifts rather than replace their thinking
- Where the line is: certain things — writing, prayer, preaching, art — should stay human, while other uses are legitimate accelerants
- The 15-year-old who hired a 38-year-old employee after building something with AI
The rage of the age and the long game
- The pendulum effect: more AI-generated content will create more hunger for what’s real and human
- Discernment as a spiritual discipline: testing what you hear, verifying sources, not letting AI tell you what you want to hear
- Gentleness and patience as countercultural — especially in a moment that’s training everyone, including our kids, toward outrage
Key Takeaways
- The word “Christian” requires fruit to back it up — and that starts with parents examining their own lives first
- Biblical community isn’t a program; it’s quantity time, all ages together, over and over
- Children belong in the room — not as a distraction but as active members of the body of Christ
- Your child’s faith may be purer than yours; your job is to encourage it, not gatekeep it
- Humility in parenting means being willing to hear where you’ve failed and reconcile — that’s not weakness, it’s the gospel in action
- AI is a tool that rewards those who already know what they’re capable of — build that foundation in your kids first
- When everything feels overwhelming, come back to the one thing: do your kids know the Lord?
Notable Quotes
- “A lot of people are Christians, but not Christ followers. And if you’re not a Christ follower, then where is your faith?” — Angie
- “If you don’t like AI, you still need to use it. Jesus hated some of the roads he walked on — it doesn’t mean he didn’t walk on them.” — Angie
- “If we want to partner with Satan, we should cause doubt in our children.” — Aaron
- “It’s not about our opinion. It’s: what does God’s word say?” — Angie
- “We have a known God and He’s not surprised. And He doesn’t change.” — Angie
Resources Mentioned
- Courageous Parenting: Biblical Parenting in Unprecedented Times by Isaac & Angie Tolpin — available on Amazon
- becourageousministry.org — podcast, ebooks, and all resources
- Redeeming Childbirth by Angie Tolpin (2012)
- The AI Daily Brief podcast — Aaron’s recommendation for parents getting up to speed on AI
- shop.marriageaftergod.com — Marriage After God resources
Next Steps
- Ask honestly: am I a Christian, or am I a Christ follower? What does the fruit in my home say?
- Audit how your children are included in your church life — are they part of the body or separated from it?
- If you haven’t started learning about AI, subscribe to the AI Daily Brief and listen for 30 days
- Before introducing AI tools to your kids, invest first in building their creative confidence with their hands, their voice, and their own ideas
- Identify one place in your home where pride has kept you from apologizing to your child — and go make it right
