I would imagine that suffering is not a very popular topic amongst most churches today but suffering is a vital and important part of every believer’s life and It should not and cannot be a topic that is left out of our Biblical thinking. Suffering comes in many forms and our heart today is to discuss the biblical view of suffering and how it is a powerful mindset and tool in our lives.
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Romans 8 “Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, 2 so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God. 3 For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry.”
- Suffering as a believer
- Cease from sin
- Depriving my flesh is suffering
- Being in human nature and submitting to God is telling your flesh no
- Choosing to walk in the Spirit
- Universal doctrine suffering
Romans 8 to explain whoever suffers … putting away of flesh is causing our flesh to suffer
“want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry.
We have been freed from the “want to do” God gives us new desires new cravings. As we walk in our new selves it grows
Sensuality – Not just sexual
THE WORLDLY DEFINITION IS PURELY SEXUAL.
THE BIBLICAL USE is: unbridled lust
Living for pleasure of every sense – pleasing the 5 senses rather than pleasing God
FROM WIKIPEDIA: Hedonism is a school of thought that argues pleasure and suffering are the only components of well-being. Ethical hedonism is the view that combines hedonism with welfarist ethics, which claim that what we should do depends exclusively on what affects the well-being individuals have. Ethical hedonists would defend either increasing pleasure and reducing suffering for all beings capable of experiencing them, or just reducing suffering in the case
- Passions – Not just what are you passionate about in life
Being controlled by our emotions and serving our emotions vs pleasing God – affected by sensuality in that when we are not feeling good or something not pleasing instead of suffering we let our emotional response dictate our actions – flesh isn’t getting what it wants so our choice is to suffer in the flesh and choose to walk in the spirit or suffer in the spirit and walk in flesh they are opposed
- Drunkenness – Not just being drunk from intoxication
Overtaken by a substance or something out side your body
Proverbs 20:1 “Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.”
Ephesians 5:18 “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,”
Removal of natural function – (Inhibition) Conscience
- Orgies – Not just a sexual experience
Giving into your flesh never satiated never enough
Ecclesiastes 1:8 “All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.”
HISTORICAL “secret rites used in the worship of Bacchus, Dionysus, and other Greek and Roman deities, celebrated with dancing, drunkenness, and singing.”
- Drinking parties – Not just drinking at a party or hosting one intentionally
It is inviting others to partake with you in all of the above
No one likes to feel the weight of shame or guilt alone so if they
Misery loves company
Approval so you can keep doing it
Why godly fellowship is so important
- Lawless Idolatry – All of this ends with self-worship
How I feel what I want what I pursue
Opposite of dying to self or taking up cross
Each one shows the progress of worshipping self vs the Creator
Thank you for your word and how it cuts us to the heart. Thank you for teaching us through your word. We pray your word would continue to transform us as we learn it and choose to walk out all that you command us to. We pray we would be people who recognize parts of our hearts that need to change, sin that needs to be repented of, motivations that are not pure, and actions that do not reflect your ways for the purpose of repentance and reconciliation and growth. May your will be done in us and through us. May your light shine brightly through our marriages as we encourage one another to draw closer to you.
In Jesus’ name, amen!
– [Aaron] Hey, we’re Aaron and Jennifer Smith with “Marriage After God.”
– [Jennifer] Helping you cultivate an extraordinary marriage.
– [Aaron] And today we’re gonna share some unique Valentine’s Day gift ideas for your spouse. Welcome to the “Marriage After God” podcast, where we believe that marriage was meant for more than just happily ever after.
– [Jennifer] I’m Jennifer, also known as Unveiled Wife.
– [Aaron] And I’m Aaron, also known as Husband Revolution.
– [Jennifer] We have been married for over a decade.
– [Aaron] And so far we have four young children.
– [Jennifer] We have been doing marriage ministry online for over seven years through blogging and social media.
– [Aaron] With the desire to inspire couples to keep God at the center of their marriage, encouraging them to walk in faith every day.
– [Jennifer] We believe the Christian marriage should be an extraordinary one, full of life–
– [Aaron] Love–
– [Jennifer] And power–
– [Aaron] That can only be found by chasing after God.
– [Jennifer] Together.
– [Aaron] Thank you for joining us on this journey as we chase boldly after God’s will for our life together.
– [Jennifer] This is “Marriage After God.”
– [Aaron] Hey, welcome back to another episode of the “Marriage After God” podcast. This is the second episode in season three of the “Marriage After God” podcast, and it’s gonna be a fun one. We’re gonna talk about gift ideas and Valentine’s Day, and these are fun episodes that we get to do. It’s just to become a resource for you to help you in stuff that you guys are trying to pursue with each other. But before we begin today, I just wanna check in with my wife. How are you doing?
– [Jennifer] I’m doing good, I’m doing better, I should say.
– [Aaron] Yeah.
– [Jennifer] I don’t know if people can hear it in my voice, I–
– [Aaron] She hasn’t stopped laughing for 15 minutes.
– [Jennifer] It’s been really hard, guys. We went to go record this episode and I could not stop laughing. Something was hysterical but really it was nothing, and that made it even funnier.
– [Aaron] And I’m sitting over here not laughing.
– [Jennifer] Though I think it’s spiritual because we’re trying to record. I couldn’t stop, but I finally got my bearings and I’m here, and I’m excited to do this with you, Aaron.
– [Aaron] Yeah, so, me too, now. It’s the second week of the year, 2020, new decade. How do you think things are going? I know it’s new, but.
– [Jennifer] Yes, I would say so far, so good. I mean, I’m still looking forward to this year. I think one thing that I’ve already been noticing is that I have this hopefulness to savor this year so that it doesn’t feel like it flies by super fast.
– [Aaron] Yeah, 2019 felt like it went really fast.
– [Jennifer] Really fast.
– [Aaron] Every time I looked at the calendar, I was like, wait a minute, we’re in the third quarter. What’s going on?
– [Jennifer] Yeah, how is this already possible? So I’m hoping that this year just is a slow year for us and for our family.
– [Aaron] Yeah. Well, seeing our kids grow up also.
– [Jennifer] It breaks my heart, really.
– [Aaron] It feels like it’s going way too fast.
– [Jennifer] Why do they have to grow up every year? If they skipped a year, it’d be cool.
– [Aaron] I actually think time is going by faster ’cause when I was kid, I remember time feeling like it was going so slow.
– [Jennifer] Playing in the backyard for hours.
– [Aaron] And then people say when you get older, time flies or goes faster. But we even asked our kids, and my son Elliott, he was like, “Dad, why does it feel like every day goes by so fast?” So my son–
– [Jennifer] Even feels that.
– [Aaron] Is even feeling time go by fast, so I’m wondering if there’s something to that. Maybe the earth is spinning faster or something like that, I don’t know.
– [Jennifer] There’s still 24 hours in a day.
– [Aaron] Yeah, just real quick, what is something you’re looking forward to in 2020? I know that there’s stuff around our house that you like to do.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, so specifically this week, I’m really excited to prune our trees. When we moved into this house, it was kind of bare ground in the sense that we got to do whatever we wanted with it and we decided, on the side of our house, we had this space. I really wanted to plant a little mini orchard. So if you follow me on Instagram, you’ll see pictures of it throughout the seasons.
– [Aaron] We’ve got some apples, we’ve got some peaches.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, and I’ve never been able, I’ve never really had the opportunity to cultivate fruit trees before. I really don’t know what I’m doing, thank you YouTube and friends who share their information with me. But I’ve just learned kind of the art of pruning and I practice it, and January’s my time to practice. And so this week I’m gonna get out there. I use pruning to shape the trees and also to keep them, to keep their form small because our backyard is small.
– [Aaron] Yeah, we don’t want them to get huge. We wanna keep them small trees.
– [Jennifer] But also, though, pruning stimulates growth which is exciting, so it’s kind of like–
– [Aaron] It’s almost biblical.
– [Jennifer] It is biblical, which I also love that whole thing about that.
– [Aaron] Yeah, and you’ve been loving doing it. It’s therapeutic for you.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, so even in the summertime, I’m actually looking forward to January ’cause I think, oh I get to prune my trees again.
– [Aaron] Yeah, and we also get to see the fruit that comes from it, literally. Like literally fruit grow on these trees. Something that I’m looking forward to doing this year, and I’m trying to do, I’ve already implemented it already. I bought a journal for each one of my kids and I’m gonna, we did this parenting class a couple months ago and I felt convicted that I’m not taking time to study my children. And that sounds intense, but I’m not taking time to just evaluate the things that they like, the things that they say, how they act.
– [Jennifer] What they’re going through.
– [Aaron] What they’re going through, yeah. Evaluating their spiritual, where they’re at spiritually, where they’re at in their heart and emotionally, and even physically. So I’m just, I don’t know how exactly I’m gonna do it. I started doing it, I’m just writing notes down in a journal about each kid.
– [Jennifer] But I have to, I was gonna say, I have to explain this whole, what happened, because you didn’t tell me that you were gonna be doing this and he’s unboxing these journals on the bed. And I didn’t know they were journals at first. I just saw these different colors.
– [Aaron] She’s like, “What are you doing?”
– [Jennifer] I’m all, “Are those Christmas presents?” ’cause this was just a couple weeks ago. And I thought they were a part of all the other gifts that were coming in from Amazon. And he goes, “Oh, they’re journals for the kids “and each one,” and he holds up the yellow one. And I’m like, “Is that for Wyatt?” and he goes, “Yup,” ’cause yellow, Wyatt calls himself the yellow boy, yeah he likes yellow. And you got a pinkish purple one for Olive.
– [Aaron] A blue one for Elliott.
– [Jennifer] And I think a gray one for Truett.
– [Aaron] Yeah, oh I think that’s backwards. I think the gray one’s for Elliott and blue one’s for Truett.
– [Jennifer] Okay. And so he’s putting them on his shelf and he’s like, “You know, I just, I really feel “like I need to study my kids,” and my heart sank in a good way. It was such a beautiful picture of a dad’s heart for his children and something I never even thought to do myself.
– [Aaron] You do have a journal for the kids, though.
– [Jennifer] I write to them, though.
– [Aaron] You write them letters.
– [Jennifer] I write them letters and prayers, and it’s quarterly, so I don’t do it all the time. But this is different. This is a way for you to get to know them in a very deep and personal way, and to keep your eyes on them. And I just, I was blown away by that. And so I’m really excited for you and jumping into this, even though I know you’re still figuring out what it’s gonna look like.
– [Aaron] Yeah, and I’m not doing it every day. My intention originally was to do it every day. And I’m like, okay, I can’t do that.
– [Jennifer] We got a lot of kids.
– [Aaron] Yeah, but when I think about it, I’m gonna pull them out and I’m gonna write down observations of my children in it. And so it’s not necessarily for them, it’s for me. But one day they’ll probably read it and they’ll learn a little bit about themselves, probably. Okay, cool. So I just wanna encourage everyone that’s listening to download a free thing that we came up with for you guys. It’s called “52 Date Night Conversation Starters”. It’s an e-book that we made for you. And the point of it was to inspire your date life. We have a whole episode talking about date nights and putting it on the calendar, and you should go check that out. We’re real huge advocates for having a scheduled date night.
– [Jennifer] We’re also huge advocates for conversations and communicating well with your spouse, which is why we’ve combined these two. And we wanted to give you something that would stimulate those really good conversations during date night.
– [Aaron] Yeah, so you go to DateNightConversations.com, all one word. And you can download it for free, just give us your email address and boom, you’ll have that PDF. And what you do is you can print it out. And there’s one for every week of the year. And so the encouragement is, hey go on a date every week. And what’s awesome is that you’re gonna have a conversation about something deep. Why don’t you give some examples?
– [Jennifer] I was gonna say, so that’s your freebie. But here’s your freebie. This is for everyone listening. We’re gonna give you three sample questions that you could ask on the date night. This is what you would get if you were to sign up for this. So the first one is, I thank God for our life together because.
– [Aaron] Dot, dot, dot.
– [Jennifer] So you get to answer that.
– [Aaron] Yeah, and then you spend the time, while you’re eating or getting a dessert, or going for a walk or whatever, and talk about that question.
– [Jennifer] So the next one is, is there any part of my work routine that is negatively impacting our marriage or our family? So I feel like this is a really good one to kind of evaluate, where are we at, what’s going on, and what can I contribute to this by sharing my heart with you?
– [Aaron] Right, and if work routine doesn’t work in both roles, you could say routine. Is there anything during my day that I do regularly that maybe needs to be massaged, moved around, cut out all together?
– [Jennifer] Yeah, and the recommendation is that you guys ask each other the same question.
– [Aaron] Exactly. Number three is, if we envision ourselves in our 90s, sitting on the porch in matching rocking chairs, if you would look over at me and say, “I wish we,”
– [Jennifer] Dot, dot, dot.
– [Aaron] Yeah, so it’s this idea that, why don’t you transport yourself to 90 years from now, or when you’re 90, and then ask yourself what you would have been doing today. That’s kind of the idea. But these are fun, creative, there’s 52 of them. This is just three of the 52. So we wanna encourage you to go get that DateNightConversations.com. Completely free, go download that.
– [Jennifer] All right, today’s topic is unique gift ideas for him and her on Valentine’s Day. And the reason we wanted to bring this up is ’cause in just a few weeks, everyone around the world is gonna be celebrating Valentine’s Day. Not everyone, but you know, a lot of people.
– [Aaron] Not in some countries. I don’t even know who celebrates it, but, lots of people.
– [Jennifer] My point is this, it’s gonna be in our faces. It’s gonna be everywhere. And we just thought we’d give it some thought beforehand because if you’re like Aaron and I, getting inspired is key for gift giving in marriage.
– [Aaron] Yeah, and can I be a little honest about my disposition towards Valentine’s Day?
– [Jennifer] Quickly, go.
– [Aaron] Okay, I’m just gonna be quick.
– [Jennifer] Hold on, let me cover my ears.
– [Aaron] I’m not a huge fan of feeling obligated to give gifts, and I feel like sometimes certain holidays do that. That’s not to say if you love doing this, and you love the holiday, don’t listen to me. But if you’re kinda like me, then don’t feel like this podcast is for you, necessarily. Or maybe it might inspire you and you won’t feel like I feel sometimes. I’m just being honest, sometimes I feel. But I’ve had to, I’ve been challenged by people in my life to not take it as an obligation, but take it as an opportunity.
– [Jennifer] Opportunity, I like that. Also, I just wanna encourage those of you who are listening and maybe you’re not married yet, that you can use these gift ideas for a significant other in your life. Maybe you’re dating or–
– [Aaron] Or a family member, maybe.
– [Jennifer] Or a fiance.
– [Aaron] Or a friend that’s also single with you. That’s a good idea.
– [Jennifer] Okay, so gift giving is actually an art. I think it is. I don’t think I’m very good at it.
– [Aaron] Some people are gifted at it, for sure.
– [Jennifer] When I think about how I give gifts, sometimes I’m so embarrassed because my wrapping skills are off the charts terrible.
– [Aaron] Your rapping skills, like rhymes, or wrapping?
– [Jennifer] No, like wrapping paper.
– [Aaron] But that sometimes makes the gift even better, the way you wrap it.
– [Jennifer] I always opt for the bag and tissue ’cause I don’t like, I can make it look cool without having to do much work.
– [Aaron] Yeah, and it is an art form. Some people are really gifted at it naturally. They’re just so thoughtful in the way that they give gifts. And some of us aren’t that way. So sometimes we just need to be inspired with ideas. That’s kinda the point of this podcast.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, so Aaron and I, why don’t we just share a little bit of our experience of giving gifts in marriage and what that journey’s been like.
– [Aaron] I’ve tried to be really creative over the years, and some of them hit big, some of them flopped. And it’s not necessarily that you didn’t like the gifts, they’re just, they’re different, the way that they are received and the intention behind it versus how it actually turns out.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, I’d also say it depends on what’s going on in that season of life that that gift is given because one of the things I’m gonna share later, I’ll point it out later ’cause I don’t wanna give it away yet, but it was very significant to the season of life I was in. It stood out to me more.
– [Aaron] And we’ve done all sorts of things. Sometimes we don’t give gifts on certain days. Sometimes we do experiences, we do things together.
– [Jennifer] Sometimes we just look over at each other when the time is coming and we go, “We’re not doing gifts, right?”
– [Aaron] And we’re like, “No, no gifts. “Promise me you’re not gonna.”
– [Jennifer] If we’re on the same page, it’s good. If we’re not on the same page or haven’t talked about it, then feelings–
– [Aaron] Remember, conversations. We talk about these things.
– [Jennifer] I was gonna say, there have been times where I’ve felt a little neglected or left out. I don’t know if you ever have, but sometimes you look at an opportunity and maybe you didn’t get something you expected to get or desired to get.
– [Aaron] Yeah, and we weren’t gonna talk about this, but I do wanna just encourage anyone that, a day like Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be an opportunity for us to feel neglected.
– [Jennifer] Or hurt.
– [Aaron] Or hurt. Let’s not let it turn into that. If it goes the other way and it’s an opportunity to bless and love, and to enjoy a moment together and time together, but let’s not let it do the other thing. Let’s be above that as Christians.
– [Jennifer] ‘Cause it comes out in our responses.
– [Aaron] It does. And we make expectations and criteria that don’t necessarily need to be there and we can put burdens and obligations on our spouse or on our fiance that doesn’t need to be there. So let’s be above that. Let’s take the opportunity to maybe use it as an opportunity to bless and love your spouse. But let’s not let it do the opposite.
– [Jennifer] That’s good. And I just wanna make a note that our ability, Aaron, to give gifts to each other has really grown over time because as we get to know each other more, ’cause we’re always getting to know each other. And we recognize the things that inspire us or things that we’re learning about and we give gifts based off of those things. It’s been really thoughtful.
– [Aaron] Thank you.
– [Jennifer] And then other times, just the thoughtfulness of bringing your spouse their favorite candy. Sometimes even those moments can stand out because they’re like, “They know me.” That feels good to be known in that way.
– [Aaron] And you’ve done that, you know I like candy. I don’t eat it all the time, but.
– [Jennifer] Aaron’s an easy gift receiver.
– [Aaron] I’m easy to shop for, I would say. ‘Cause I don’t ask for much, just candy.
– [Jennifer] Just candy.
– [Aaron] Good & Plentys, to be specific, so if anyone out there wants to get me candy, or Hot Tamales. Okay, I just wanna do one quick note before another quick note.
– [Jennifer] How many quick notes do we got?
– [Aaron] Lots of quick notes. We don’t want this to, we’re not gonna try to over spiritualize this. We didn’t grab a bunch of scriptures to be like, “See how powerful gift giving can be?” To be honest, we just wanted to have fun with this and give you some gift ideas. And I think it’d be wrong of us to try and turn this into a overly spiritual, here’s the rules on how to give gifts. We just wanted to give you some ideas, things that we’ve loved, things that we’ve used. And you can take them or leave them. I think it’ll just be a simple fun episode.
– [Jennifer] Another quick note is that if you’re trying to get out of debt, we suggest skipping gifts for a while. Instead, find free ways to bless each other and show your spouse you’re thinking of them. And I’ll just give you a handful right here. DIY gifts with materials you already have. Using a talent like drawing, I did this before. I think it was for Christmas. I drew you a picture of us kissing. And it was a really small five by seven, I framed it, it was cute.
– [Aaron] I think we have it somewhere still.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, I do, it’s in the mudroom.
– [Aaron] Oh yeah, oh yeah.
– [Jennifer] I cherish it.
– [Aaron] No it’s just somewhere I don’t ever see. But I like it. Yeah, writing a note, a song, a poem. Those things have deep meaning. But again, the reason I wanted to bring this up is because I don’t want anyone to think that we’re advocating you should go spend money you don’t have. Or that you should spend money when you’re trying to get out of debt. Valentine’s Day is just another day. It might be an opportunity to give a gift, but you don’t have to.
– [Jennifer] We’re actually bigger advocates for getting out debt than we are to give gifts.
– [Aaron] That’s the best gift.
– [Jennifer] Get out of debt.
– [Aaron] Spouses get out of debt, yeah. So yeah, and real quick, some of our favorite gifts we’ve received, my favorite thing that I pretty much received is whenever Jennifer has done some sort of special event with me. Either planning a birthday party, which she’s done a couple times, or planned a guy’s hangout time. She’s like, “Hey, I’ve already set it up. “Here’s your friends. “You guys are going here, go hang out, go have fun.” Those kinds of things have been really special for me. She knows that I love being around people.
– [Jennifer] He’s so social, you guys.
– [Aaron] And Jennifer would love to sit on the couch with me and not do anything. So for her to set something up like that, which makes her not be with me, and gives me time to go be with friends is a huge thing for me. And so those have always been really special to me. And what’s been special to you, gifts that we’ve given?
– [Jennifer] Well the first thing that comes to my mind is all my children, each one of them are a gift.
– [Aaron] You’re right.
– [Jennifer] Do you love me for that?
– [Aaron] Couldn’t have done it without me.
– [Jennifer] Okay, so the gift that I was thinking about earlier that was very significant to my season of life and it just stands out to me, was Mother’s Day 2015. It was just a couple, maybe a week and a half after I had Olive, and there was a little bag sitting on the table for me for Mother’s Day. And I opened it up and it was a pendant with an O on it for Olive to match my E that I had for Elliott. So it was one of those–
– [Aaron] You have a necklace that has, you put little letter pendants on it.
– [Jennifer] And it was so thoughtful. It was something I hadn’t asked for, which I think that would be my big thing. Is when you give me a surprise or a gift of something that I never requested or asked for, but you know me and you did it because you love me. Those are the kinds of gifts that really stand out to me. Those are my favorite.
– [Aaron] And I know that about you.
– [Jennifer] That’s good.
– [Aaron] That you, here’s a little quick tip for all the husbands. Just listen to your wife and she’ll tell you what she wants throughout the year and you just write them all down and then pick one of them. And they’ll be surprised ’cause they’ll forget that they said it, but you won’t.
– [Jennifer] But it won’t sound like a request. It’ll just be like a nonchalant, “Oh I really like this.” Or, “I really love that.”
– [Aaron] “And I wish I had a–” Or, “I’ve always wanted one of those.” That’s how they come out.
– [Jennifer] We try and be subtle.
– [Aaron] All right, hey let’s just get into some of these gift ideas. We’re first gonna give ideas for the men.
– [Jennifer] So all the men have to close their ears, right?
– [Aaron] No. Or they could listen.
– [Jennifer] Sorry guys, this is kinda like giving it away but not.
– [Aaron] So these are all things that I use and have really enjoyed. They’re not necessarily gifts that Jennifer’s gotten for me, but I’m putting them out there as, hey this would be great because I’ve loved them and I think other men would love them. I’m gonna start off with my ESV Heirloom Study Bible. It’s made out of goat skin, it’s all black, it’s huge. I love it, I never thought I’d love this big of a bible, but I really love it. And it’s pricey, right now it’s on Amazon for 217 bucks, where it’s usually $375, so it’s actually like a hundred bucks off, over a hundred bucks off.
– [Jennifer] Also just a quick side note that these prices could change, depending on when you’re listening to this episode. If you’re not listening to it at the weekly launch, prices can change.
– [Aaron] Yeah, we have no clue. I have no control over the price.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, and this goes for everything that we list.
– [Aaron] Yeah, I also wanna give a note, we’re not being sponsored by any of these people. These are things that we actually have used and loved and enjoyed. I love this bible. It’s got 20,000 plus study notes in it. It’s got 80,000 plus cross references. Over 200 charts, 50 plus articles, and 240 full color maps and illustrations which I really love because they’ll show you an illustration of the temple right in the middle of a chapter when it’s talking about a temple. So you get this picture, and you’re like whoa, and you see the temple, and it visualizes what you’re reading.
– [Jennifer] There’s something else it has that you’ve left off and I just know this because I like this feature about your bible. The different ribbon.
– [Aaron] It’s got four ribbons.
– [Jennifer] Instead of just one.
– [Aaron] And I use them, actually. When I teach at church, I have all the ribbons in the spots that I’m trying to jump to.
– [Jennifer] And it’s really great because sometimes I don’t want to move my ribbon because I want it there for a reason, but I wish I had another one, so I end up sticking a napkin or something.
– [Aaron] Yeah, something in there.
– [Jennifer] Something, whatever’s closest to me, a business card, so I like that feature.
– [Aaron] Yeah, it’s ESV, I love the ESV translation. It’s an amazing bible, it’s beautiful too, when you look at it. I know it’s expensive, but I wanted to put a note out there. We spend money on lots of other less important things. Why not spend some money on an heirloom family bible that you’re gonna hand down to your kids? Just a thought. The second thing is a wallet. Not any wallet, this is a special wallet. It’s by a company called Saddleback Leather. And it’s awesome. I’ve had this wallet since 2014.
– [Jennifer] Just to clarify, it’s not a dad wallet. So a dad wallet is about five–
– [Aaron] It’s not this 14 inch dad wallet.
– [Jennifer] That has everything. But it’s more compact and it’s simple, and it’s perfect.
– [Aaron] It’s made out of genuine leather. It’s hand stitched. This thing’s beautiful. Saddleback Leather has what they call a hundred year warranty. It’s like a lifetime warranty, but it’s way better ’cause it’s called a hundred year warranty. If anything happens, if the threading comes off, if the leather starts to tear, they’ll replace it, no questions asked.
– [Jennifer] And it’s not the kind that folds open. What you have is just a single kind of billfold.
– [Aaron] Yeah, they call it a front pocket wallet. It’s a single thing and it’s got these slots. And it’s got an open pocket for the ID. And so it doesn’t fold open. It literally just stays really compact, really small. And it lasts forever. I’ve had this since 2014. It’s got a few, it’s really worn down, really nice and soft. I love this wallet. It keeps me from having too much stuff in my wallet, as well because it only can hold so much. I wish you could see it. I’m holding it right now in my hands. Go check it out though, go to SaddlebackLeather.com, SaddlebackLeather.com, and check it out. It’s 49 bucks, it’s super cheap actually, ’cause I’ve seen prices on other wallets and they’re really expensive. But for how long this lasts, for the quality of it, for how it feels, for how small it is, I think it’s an awesome gift idea for any guy. Unless you’re the kind of guy that loves their super thick wallet. Number three, and this goes back to, remember we were talking about the journals I bought to write in for my kids. This is by a company called Baron Fig. Baron, B-A-R-O-N F-I-G, Baron Fig. And they’re called the confident hardcover notebook. And these notebooks, they did a lot of research on what people are looking for in a notebook. It lays flat, the way the paper feels, the thickness of the paper, the way the pens write on the paper. Everything about it has been manufactured to fit perfectly what you would want in a journal.
– [Jennifer] And you’ve been using them for years.
– [Aaron] For years, when I buy a journal, I buy one of theirs. They range from $12 to 22 bucks. Their standard size one, I think it’s like $17 or $14. It’s not expensive at all. And they ship really fast. They’ve got 100 and something pages in it. They’re just great journals. I use them all the time, I have a couple in my desk right here. Their largest one, I use as my bible study journal and they lay perfectly flat. You just open it up, it lays flat on the table. It doesn’t have to, the pages don’t bend or anything like that. It’s called Baron Fig confident hardcover notebook. Those are awesome. And those are all the journals I bought to write for my kids in it. Number four, this is a little bit more pricey of an item, but–
– [Jennifer] Like much more pricier.
– [Aaron] It’s much more pricey, but man, this has got some major benefits to your wife.
– [Jennifer] It’s true.
– [Aaron] So wives that are listening, it’s not just a gift for your husband. This is a gift for you and you’ll see why. It’s my Traeger smoker, it’s a grill where you can smoke pretty much anything you want on it. And how often do you think I use my smoker?
– [Jennifer] At least once, but even sometimes up to three times a week. It just depends on what it’s for, what’s going on.
– [Aaron] Pretty much every Sunday, I bring something smoked to church. I smoke a tri tip, or a brisket. That’s kind of something I love to bring to church for our after church potluck. And so my church benefits from it even, too. I’m selling this pretty hard. I love my smoker. But they range from anywhere from 400 to $900, a smoker grill.
– [Jennifer] And Traeger’s just one brand.
– [Aaron] Trager’s one brand, they’re not the cheapest brand but they’re super high quality. It’s the one I have. But there’s tons of other brands. There’s one called Green Mountain. They have pretty affordable models. They’re a great brand. Another one is Pit Boss. Camp Chef is one of the top of the line brands that are out there. And then while doing my research on this, there’s a really affordable brand called Z Grills and yeah, you should expect to pay between 400 and $900. But man, we get a lot of use out of this thing. I use it all the time. There’s nights that Jennifer’s like, “Are you gonna be–“
– [Jennifer] What sides should I make?
– [Aaron] Yeah, “What sides am I making, “’cause you’re smoking some pork.” Or we’re smoking some chicken, we use it all the time. And the flavor you get in the meat is just so good. Anyways, I love my smoker. I couldn’t not bring it up because of how much I love it. And how useful it’s been to the family, to the church, to giving you breaks for dinners. It’s just been amazing.
– [Jennifer] Would you recommend a wife just picking one out for her husband, or more of like a certificate of I wanna get this for you, let’s talk about it.
– [Aaron] That’s a good point. To be honest, I think they should just, when it comes to these kinds of purchases, you absolutely should discuss it.
– [Jennifer] That’s what I was thinking.
– [Aaron] That’s a big purchase. ‘Cause either he’s gonna have a preference for the kind, the brand.
– [Jennifer] But you can still do something cute like put a little note or certificate in a box and say this is for you.
– [Aaron] Buy him some tongs, like a–
– [Jennifer] Oh, a barbecue kit.
– [Aaron] That way he’s like, “Wait, what’s this for?” And you’re like, “For the smoker you’re gonna get. “We have to talk about it ’cause it’s expensive.” But yeah, you should always talk about a purchase like this, just with how expensive it is. Never just do it.
– [Jennifer] And get them what they want and not just pick something because of the expense.
– [Aaron] And then the last gift idea. It’s a new thing that I’ve–
– [Jennifer] This was a gift to yourself, actually.
– [Aaron] I did give this to myself this year. It’s called the Ember self-heating coffee mug. And I drink coffee every day, I love coffee.
– [Jennifer] Multiple times a day.
– [Aaron] Multiple times a day. Well that’s often because my coffee goes cold and I have to go in and get a new cup. This coffee mug, it’s got a heating plate built into it. And it has an iPhone app. It literally keeps the coffee at the exact temperature you want until you’re done drinking the coffee.
– [Jennifer] This is for all those coffee lovers out there.
– [Aaron] Oh yeah.
– [Jennifer] I guess tea would work, too.
– [Aaron] Yeah, and these range from 75 to a hundred bucks. They have different sizes. They have an older model that you can get that’s even cheaper. You can probably even find them used on Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace. But it comes with a little charging plate. They can last up to 80 minutes, a charge, which is like an hour and some. And if you have it on the charging plate, it lasts all day.
– [Jennifer] I feel like this would be a great gift for moms too, ’cause I feel like moms are probably constantly reheating their coffee.
– [Aaron] Well, there’s a ton wives out there that love coffee and they’d probably really enjoy one of these.
– [Jennifer] Maybe like a matching set?
– [Aaron] Yeah, they have a gold one, a white one, a black one, they have all these different colors. But I’ve really loved it. Keeps my coffee hot. It’s super practical. I love gifts that are useful. That it’s not just a trinket.
– [Jennifer] It’s gonna make my life better.
– [Aaron] It’s gonna make my life better. I’m gonna use it on a daily basis. At the end of the day, if it every breaks or falls apart, or I lose it, I’m gonna miss it. I’m gonna be like, where’s that thing at? I want that back in my life. So my Traeger, my coffee mug, these kinds of things. My wallet, when I was writing this list down, I was like, “What things do I use all the time?” And these are all those, so.
– [Jennifer] All right, my turn. Women close your ears, no just kidding. I just have to make a note that we just hope that this episode brings inspiration to the way you give gifts and especially if you’re just in a place where you want to give a gift, especially for Valentine’s Day, but maybe you don’t know what to give. So hopefully this is sparking some creative juices flowing.
– [Aaron] Yeah, the two words I would think of is meaningful and useful. Is that right? That’s kinda what these are.
– [Jennifer] All right, so for her, gentlemen. The first thing that I wanted to share was something called a growth book. And it’s similar to the journal that Aaron mentioned, the Baron Fig journal. I would say–
– [Aaron] But way more useful.
– [Jennifer] Well I would say the quality is up there with it. It also is, it’s like a journal. But, instead of lines, it’s dots. And so it’s actually really useful because you can use it for multiple things.
– [Aaron] You can draw in it.
– [Jennifer] You can draw in it. You can do calendar stuff or scheduling. You can journal in it. I use it for journaling my time with the Lord. I use it for taking notes during the parenting class that we took. I take it for goal setting, things that Aaron and I are aiming for.
– [Aaron] You keep yourself on track, too, with a little bit of homeschool stuff, don’t you?
– [Jennifer] Yep. So, it’s just a really, really awesome way to kind of detail your life and what you’re working on.
– [Aaron] I wanna note, one of the coolest things I thought about these is, doesn’t it come with a sticker pack for you to label things?
– [Jennifer] So it comes separately. So the growth book itself, which you can find at GrowthRootsCo.com, the book itself is $32. The stickers that accompany it is $2 extra. So all together, you’re talking about $34. And honestly, I’ve never liked something so much that I use on a daily basis.
– [Aaron] She’s holding it right now and it’s full.
– [Jennifer] And it’s beautiful. They come in different colors. It’s got the cloth feature for the cover. And then you open it up and the first thing you’ll notice is it says volume, with a line and a date.
– [Aaron] So when did you start this and what volume is it.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, so this is my, my growth book is volume one from 2019.
– [Aaron] You started in September, looks like.
– [Jennifer] And I started in September. But I’ve been using and I’m about three quarters of the way through it. So it’s got a lot of pages, and it has other special features. So, in the very back, which I love, it has all the books of the bible with all the chapters and you can cross them off as you read them. So if you’re doing a bible plan.
– [Aaron] Yeah, keep track of where you are in the bible.
– [Jennifer] It has a spot for prayers that you’re praying through and ways that God has answered and when. Books that you’re currently reading, or a list that you can put together. So it just has a lot of features to it that I really love and I think it would be a great, a great gift but also it’s a growth gift. It’s like you’re encouraging your wife in something that she’s probably either already doing or working on, and you’re just saying, “Here, why don’t you record it?”
– [Aaron] Yeah, I wanna support you in this.
– [Jennifer] So along with that is my number two, and it’s these colored pens that I got that a friend recommended. And they’re just on Amazon. They’re by Tao Tree, T-A-O T-R-E-E. But they’re fine liner color pens and they come with 24 different colors. They’re super fun. I use them specifically for journaling in my journal. They’re 11.99, so a super cheap gift if you wanna combine those two, it’d be a fun little.
– [Aaron] And you use those a lot. You use the different colors for different types of notes. It helps you organize what you’re writing.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, so that’s my number one gift right now, is that–
– [Aaron] Growth book.
– [Jennifer] And that’s by GrowthRootsCo.com, so you can get that there. And then the colored pens are at Amazon. Okay, now my number three. Aaron mentioned his favorite ESV bible. I’m gonna share mine. It’s the journal bible that is about eight and a half inches tall and it’s almost square, it’s not quite square. But the cover of it is really beautiful. It’s this linen print that is yellow, mustard yellow, and flowers, it’s just so beautiful. And I use it every day. And it has, what I love about it, is it has a margin on the side, a ruled margin, so you can write notes. I use it, I love reading through the bible. And when I get to one of those notes from two years ago and it was me in labor with Wyatt, or whatever, and just looking back on prayer requests or things that I’ve mentioned next to whatever it was that I was reading at that moment. So it’s kind of like you said, it’s a heirloom, a family heirloom.
– [Aaron] And it’s single column, also right, so on each page is one column of text. And what’s nice about that is I believe that the lines actually coincide with the lines on the text, pretty close. And so you could actually have notes that are directly, line by line if you wanted to. It’s a really pretty bible. I’ve always liked it.
– [Jennifer] And it’s available, also–
– [Aaron] It’s hardcover, too.
– [Jennifer] On Amazon.
– [Aaron] It’s a hard, nice–
– [Jennifer] It’s a hard, solid bible. And it’s just a pretty bible, so you wanna keep it out.
– [Aaron] It’s really pretty.
– [Jennifer] And that runs about 33.99 on Amazon.
– [Aaron] Which is not expensive at all, for a bible. It’s great.
– [Jennifer] Okay, my number four is Made by Mary, and I talked about this stamped pendant necklace earlier. They are just a really great company, MadeByMary.com. And they have something new out, which actually I really am fascinated by. It’s called a birth flower pendant. And so you can go on there, and depending on what month you were born in, or if you were gonna get one for your daughter, you just order the month, and it comes with that specific month’s flower. They’re beautiful.
– [Aaron] Every month has its own flower?
– [Jennifer] Yeah.
– [Aaron] I didn’t know that.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, they’re really cool. But they also do birthstones and you can get, you can order either a bar or a circle, or whatever shape you want, and they stamp whatever it is you want. So currently, what I have is a single circle with an initial of each of my kids, so E for Elliott, O for Olive, W for Wyatt.
– [Aaron] And when you say currently, that’s a hint.
– [Jennifer] No.
– [Aaron] At what’s coming next.
– [Jennifer] No, it was because the one that I mentioned earlier, I was doing individual pendents, like circles with individual letters.
– [Aaron] And you were getting–
– [Jennifer] It was heavy.
– [Aaron] It was 24 circles on the necklace and it’s getting real heavy.
– [Jennifer] It was getting heavy, so I switched to a single circle with each of them stamped on there. But Made By Mary, just really beautiful jewelry on there. And they range–
– [Aaron] Super meaningful, too.
– [Jennifer] Super meaningful, but they range in price. And I’ll just say it’s about $38 for one of those pieces of jewelry. The last thing that I will mention and it’s one of my all time favorites gifts, and it’s from a local spa. And it’s just going to get a massage. It’s time alone. Or a couples massage. But it’s that time that you get to feel rejuvenated and relax, and–
– [Aaron] And usually they’re rare, so they’re really special.
– [Jennifer] So this would be my pricey gift. Aaron had a really pricey gift. This one would probably range between 65 and 250 to $300 because it depends on what service you get and where you’re getting it done.
– [Aaron] And my gift was the gift that kept giving, though. No, I think that’s a great gift idea, is the occasional local spa.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, just go spoil yourself.
– [Aaron] Yeah, just letting your wife go and have a couple hours to herself, getting pampered and loved on, and massaged, it’s nice.
– [Jennifer] A great thing about that kind of gift, we talked about giving a certificate to your husband for his grill, but this would be the same kind of thing where you give a certificate and then she can make her own time to go do that and make sure that she’s able to really enjoy that time.
– [Aaron] Or secretly in passing be like, “Man, I wish there was really good spas around here.” And then your wife would be like, “There is, the best one’s down the street.” And you’d be like, “Oh, that’s interesting.” And then just keep that note hidden away and then you just get her a little gift certificate. So we wanted to give you those five gift ideas each. We hope they inspired you and maybe even sparked another idea for you, which is awesome. But, we wanted to give you a couple bonus ideas, and these are more gifts that would bless both of you in your marriage, in your parenting. And the first one is we wanna share with you, some good friends of ours launched an online course called “Courageous Parenting” and it’s an online program and you take it together. And there’s videos, and there’s questions, and it’s a whole thing to help you grow in your godly parenting with your children. We all need this, Jennifer and I, when we talk about the parenting class, this is exactly what we did.
– [Jennifer] We just got to walk through it with them in person.
– [Aaron] Yeah, we’re blessed to do it with them in person because they’re a part of our church. But their program is called “The Courageous Parenting Program” and you can get that at CourageousParenting.com.
– [Jennifer] Now it is a little bit pricey. It’s 399 per couple, so that’s why we’re recommending it as a gift, it’s a huge investment, both financially, but also mentally and spiritually.
– [Aaron] It’s actually cheap when you consider the lifelong lessons you’re gonna learn from it based off of parenting your children.
– [Jennifer] And we’re saying this because we’re sitting here right now, having just gone through the course and we’re going, “Wow, we have some stuff ahead of us “that we’re working on and working towards, “and we’re so grateful for the information “that we got from them.” And so this would be a really great opportunity for you guys to do something together that’s going to, like Aaron said, just be an investment for your whole family.
– [Aaron] Studying my children, that concept, came from “Courageous Parenting”. They were teaching about that and it convicted me. I was like, I’m gonna study my kids.
– [Jennifer] So another option, bonus, that would benefit both of you guys–
– [Aaron] Shameless plug, enter now.
– [Jennifer] It’s our devotional. So it’s “Husband After God” and “Wife After God”.
– [Aaron] You can get those at Shop.MarriageAfterGod.com. They’re 30-day devotionals and you do them together, or separately, and then you can come together and talk about them. But there’s a husband one, and it walks through specific things for the husband and his role. There’s a wife one, talks about specific things that a wife and her role. And then there’s questions, there’s journaling pages, there’s scripture. Man, thousands, and thousands, and thousands of couples have gone through this devotional together.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, and it’s about $32 for the bundle on our site, which is a really reasonable gift, especially when you think about it being a together gift.
– [Aaron] Husbands, this is a great gift to just go and get.
– [Jennifer] Yeah, just go get one right now.
– [Aaron] And your wife will probably hug you for it. I’m not kidding, you should do this.
– [Jennifer] Okay, and this is a great way to cultivate intimacy and communication, and just invest in your marriage in this way.
– [Aaron] Okay, the last one that we wanna say, this is for both of you, is Jennifer and I went to one of these years ago and we loved it. It was pretty amazing, we still advocate for them. It’s called “Weekend 2 Remember” by Family Life. You can find out about it by going to FamilyLife.com/Weekend-2-Remember. You can also just go to FamilyLife.com. I’m sure they have a huge graphic for it because it’s one of the biggest things they do. It’s helped save countless marriages.
– [Jennifer] So what they do is there events held throughout the year, nationwide. And so you have to go on their website to find out which one is nearest to you. Or if you wanna get–
– [Aaron] And there’s probably gonna be one near you.
– [Jennifer] I was gonna say, or if you wanna make it a road getaway and go somewhere, you could do that too. But they’re hosted at hotels and it’s literally a weekend. So you go and you spend the night. And they have sessions.
– [Aaron] No kids allowed.
– [Jennifer] It’s beautiful. It’s such a great time to really intentionally focus on your marriage and what God desires for your marriage, and what his purpose is for your marriage. And Aaron, we did it coming out of a season of darkness and hardship.
– [Aaron] It really helped us.
– [Jennifer] It was reconciling for us. I remember just sitting there, holding your hand, going, “This is exactly what we needed.” So we’ve always been an advocate for “Weekend 2 Remembers” and chances are, there’s one very close to you. So they range about 175 per person, which again, this is an investment, but you’re talking about your marriage and it would be a great gift opportunity for both of you to sit down and really consider getting away for the weekend to do something like this.
– [Aaron] Hey, we hope you enjoyed these ideas. And if you have more ideas, would you share them on our social media so that other people can see them? Just post about it in your stories and tag @MarriageAfterGod, or on Facebook just tag us. People are always looking for ideas. We all need some inspiration sometimes, everyone of us. Well, we thank you for joining us. We’re gonna close in prayer, and then yeah. So let’s pray. Dear Lord, thank you for being the ultimate gift giver. Thank you for the gift of marriage. We pray our hearts would be pure in the way we give gifts to each other. We pray we would be thoughtful in the ways we give to each other. Help us to study and know our spouse well enough to give them gifts we know they will love. More than giving good gifts, we pray our love would be genuine, and deep, and extraordinary, as we purpose intimacy with each other. Grow our love for one another. In Jesus’ name, amen. We just wanna thank you for joining us this week on this episode. If you haven’t left us a review yet, would you please do that? Your reviews are incredibly powerful at spreading the news about this podcast. It helps other people to find it. It encourages our hearts. And it helps other people know what to expect in the podcast. So leave us a star rating and a review today. We greatly appreciate it. See you next week. Did you enjoy today’s show? If you did, it would mean the world to us if you could leave us a review on iTunes. Also, if you’re interested, you can find many more encouraging stories and resources at MarriageAfterGod.com and let us help you cultivate an extraordinary marriage.