Let’s face it, before we get married we are slightly naive as to what to expect. And by slightly naive, I mean extremely… at least that was the case for me anyway. I guess I had envisioned something like the traditional romantic comedy with lots of breakfast in bed… You know, where my husband would read my mind and obey my every whim.
For some reason I also thought that the emotional butterflies of puppy-love would be enough to fix every marital problem. About three months in, I realized that reality was far less glamorous and my imagination had deceived me. Since then with each new season of life, I tend to drift back and think life would have been a whole lot simpler if I knew then what I know now.
I wish I would have known how to manage the financial struggles and stress of our first year of marriage. I wish I would have known how hard it was going to be living with a messy man and overcoming my obsessive compulsive tendencies. I wish I would have known how important communication and respect are, especially during a heated argument.
You see there are A LOT of things I wish I would have known. But do you want to know what I really wish I knew during those tough times…
I wish I would have known that I could trust God in all circumstances.
It’s so easy to fear the unknown and frantically search for wisdom from others rather than run to our Heavenly Father. We must be intentional and choose to trust in our sovereign Lord and the many promises that He has given us in His Word.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my right hand.” -Isaiah 41:10
Hopefully I am not bursting anyone’s bubble, but there will be difficult times in our marriages and in our lives. But no matter what the circumstances are, we must remember that Jesus has already won the victory. Not only did He defeat death and sin, but through His death and resurrection, He gave us victory over fear (Romans 8:15) judgement (Romans 8:1-2) and selfish motives (Galatians 2:20).
Jesus gave us victory over our circumstances.
As we look back, wishing we would have known what we know now, we must remember that God orchestrated it all. Whether the past is full of failures, sin, regret and shame; rest in God’s sovereignty. God has promised in Romans 8:28 to work it all together for good in our lives. If He allows us to struggle through a season it’s not because He has abandoned us, it is because He sees the bigger picture, and is working out a better plan than we can fully understand. We must trust in Him and have faith that as we take one step at a time on a dimly lit path, He will continue to shed light along the way. He is guiding us and we simply must follow Him.
We can rest in His promises, that although we don’t have all the answers; God does and He will bring victory. When we are overwhelmed with what we don’t know, simply seek Him for the answers and rest in His almighty and loving hands.