Ways To Intentionally Build Intimacy With Your Children


Intimacy is the art of making yourself known as you get to know others, deeply.  Having intimate relationships with your children are important as security and trust is cultivated.  Establishing an intimate relationship with your children also provides a firm foundation where they can come to you for help or advice and value your wisdom, while knowing they are loved and cherished.

It starts with conversation.  Some of the most intimate times you will get to know someone is when they communicate to you parts of their heart. It is imperative that you brush up on your question asking skills.  Instead of asking “How was your day?” try using deeper questions such as:

“What was one thing you really enjoyed about today?”

“Did at any point you feel insecure?”

“Was there a moment you wished you were somewhere else?”

“Did God show you anything interesting?”

Asking good questions can radically transform the conversations you have with your kids.  The more creative and intentional your questions are, the deeper answers you will receive!

I also want to say that it is vital that we give our kids the attention they crave without clutching our phones or computers.  Put it all down and embrace your children.  Give them your full attention at least for a moment each and every day.

Here are a list of more creative ways to build Intimacy with your children:

– Let them sit in your lap as you read with them every day.

– Listening to them intently, even when it seems like they are not making sense.

– Playing with them (board games, pretend, dress-up, physical games like tag or keep away).

– Doing art projects together – My mom use to paint with us and I loved all those memories we made!

– Tell them stories from your life – adventures, hardships, humorous, loss, gain and all the in between…let them know you!

– Prayers before bedtime.

Utilize Pinterest to find awesome themed activities to do together!

– Acting out scenes from the Bible to help them learn God’s word.

– Cooking together showing how to prepare and execute dishes.

– Building and teaching life skills – Planning an event like a lemonade stand!

– Nature walks where you discuss God’s creation.

– Date nights – going somewhere fun with one child at a time.

– Compliment them throughout the day.  Build up their esteem.

– Talk about major issues like faith, marriage, schooling, traveling, economy, politics, ect. Keep it age appropriate, but don’t shy away either thinking they won’t understand.  It is better for you to teach them than the world.

I hope these encourage you and inspire you to cultivate intimacy with your children.  If you have more ideas that would help others please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments below!

This is part of a series:

Ways To Build Intimacy With God

Ways To Build Intimacy With Your Husband

Ways To Build Intimacy With Your Friends

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