The One Piece Of Advice I Wish People Told Me Before I Got Married

Like many brides-to-be, I received a lot of advice when I got married. They were short and sweet.

Don’t go to bed angry.

        Pick your battles.

               No name-calling.

                      Don’t compare your marriage.

They all seemed so tried and true. They all seemed like good advice to a young and passionate couple who were madly in love.

Looking back though – if there was one piece of advice I wish people would have told me before I got married, it would be…

You will go through seasons of marriage, don’t give up!

Because seasons are longer than days. Longer than moments. Longer than just an argument. Seasons stretch over weeks and months. Seasons feel like they take forever to change again. Seasons can change you. They can even scar you.

Ecclesiastes 3:7-8 describes seasons of life.  That there will be:

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

There are too many seasons to name. Seasons of better. Seasons of worse. Seasons of growth. Seasons of barrenness. Seasons of passion, of intimacy. Seasons of loneliness and angst. If you’ve lived through even a year of marriage, it’s likely you have experienced a season or two.

I wish they would have told me that seasons change.

I wish someone would have told me – not to give up during a bad season. Not to despair during the loneliness or hurt. I wish they would have told me that love can blossom again and that God can restore a broken heart. I wish they would have told me that people can change for the good. I wish they would have told me to wait, be patient, for just a little while longer because the season of dismal fog was about to burn away. And when the bright Morning Star burned the fog away – our marriage would be stronger and brighter and deeper. More meaningful.

I’m thankful He showed me these things. Because now, when I recognize a season of suffering or stress bearing down on us, I remind myself that this won’t last forever. I tell myself that even though we may be suffering now, the glory He brings is just a season away.

And, I wish they would have told me that when you are in a season of passion and joy, remember to throw your head back and laugh and enjoy the ride. Smile. Be joyful. Be thankful.

And regardless of the season you’re in, never forget to worship the Lord your God for your blessings.

Please share this advice with Brides-to-be or wives who need a little encouragement!


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