The Joy And Beauty Of A Light And Candid Conversation With Your Spouse

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Sometimes all we need is a light and candid conversation with our spouse. In this week’s episode, we take turns answering some questions and we give our unscripted candid answers. Please enjoy!

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Jennifer (00:10):
Hi, and welcome to the Marriage After God podcast.

Aaron (00:12):
We’re your host Aaron and Jennifer Smith.

Jennifer (00:14):
We have been married 15 years and have five sweet children who are growing up way too fast. We

Aaron (00:18):
Love God and we love

Jennifer (00:20):
Marriage, and we love to be honest about it all.

Aaron (00:22):
Marriage is not always a walk in the park, but we do believe it has a powerful purpose.

Jennifer (00:26):
So our goal here is to open up the conversation to talk about our faith and our marriage,

Aaron (00:30):
Especially in light of the gospel.

Jennifer (00:32):
We certainly don’t have all the answers, but if you stick around, we may just make you laugh.

Aaron (00:36):
But our hope is to encourage you to chase boldly after God’s purpose for your life together.

Jennifer (00:40):
This is Marriage after God.

Aaron (00:49):
Hey, welcome back to another episode of The Marriage After God podcast. I’m Aaron Smith.

Jennifer (00:53):
I like you when you go podcast.

Aaron (00:55):
Podcast

Jennifer (00:56):
<laugh>. Sorry. Keep

Aaron (00:59):
Going. And you are

Jennifer (01:01):
<laugh>. I’m Jennifer.

Aaron (01:03):
Okay.

Jennifer (01:03):
Some call me Jen.

Aaron (01:05):
Today. We, Yes. I don’t call you Jen though.

Jennifer (01:08):
No, I like that you call me

Aaron (01:09):
Jennifer. I call you Jennifer exclusively. Wait, does that mean I’m the only one that calls you Jennifer <laugh>? What was that? Nothing.

Jennifer (01:19):
Just keep going. Okay.

Aaron (01:20):
Uh, today we are gonna be having a light and fun, candid conversation with each other

Jennifer (01:28):
Because why not?

Aaron (01:29):
Because we can and we should

Jennifer (01:31):
And it’s

Aaron (01:32):
Fun. Yeah. And that’s what we wanna do. Okay. Before we jump into that conversation, I wanna share with you this week’s episode’s sponsor. Uh, this episode’s sponsored by our 31 prayers for my husband and wife, devotionals. Uh, these are our, some of our best selling books, which is really amazing cuz that means there’s th thousands and thousands of marriages out there that desire to grow in their prayer life for their spouse and their marriage specifically, which is awesome. We design these books, uh, to be a catalyst and an inspiration for your prayer life, not a replacement for it. Um, so if you’ve been blessed by this show and you’d like, we’d, we’d be honored if you’d pick up a copy of our 31 Prayers for Marriage books, and they could be found at shop dot marriage after god.com or@amazon.com. With that being said, um, what is that? What that, Okay.

Jennifer (02:27):
<laugh>. Okay.

Aaron (02:28):
How long have you been holding that in your shirt?

Jennifer (02:29):
Just a little while. So, can people hear me over it? I don’t know. It’s really cute. We got this. It’s a, Do you wanna explain what it’s

Aaron (02:39):
<laugh>? Jennifer’s doing Show and tell right now, but it’s just Tell <laugh>.

Jennifer (02:43):
It’s one of those Christmas snow globes and it has a bear in it with Christmas trees.

Aaron (02:48):
It’s pretty, It’s not a Santa Claus bear either. It’s just a regular black bear

Jennifer (02:52):
<laugh>,

Aaron (02:52):
Which is much more accurate.

Jennifer (02:54):
<laugh>. Okay. So the reason that I snuck this into today’s podcast and for you, Aaron, is because I wanted everyone to know that I really like the element of surprise. I like shocking people. I like saying, I like doing things that make you go, What are

Aaron (03:09):
You doing? What’s the term you used to use for your mom?

Jennifer (03:11):
What

Aaron (03:12):
Do you mean when she’s being sneaky? I don’t know. A ninja. Oh, you like, I don’t know. You like being in Ninja

Jennifer (03:18):
<laugh>. Yeah. I just, I like putting smiles on people’s faces and I knew if I snuck this in my shirt and started playing it, you would smile <laugh>.

Aaron (03:26):
I am smiling.

Jennifer (03:27):
But what’s really funny about this is, um, so we do CC class on Wednesdays and my five year old Wyatt, the first day of class, we all show up and everyone’s kind of feeling nervous. I, well, I was, I don’t actually know if all the kids were, but I look over and he, he pulls this from his backpack and he goes, Mom, is it okay that I brought this today? <laugh>.

Aaron (03:46):
So he did a sneaky move

Jennifer (03:47):
Too. He did a sneaky move. And I think, I mean, just when we’re thinking about life in general, like obviously we don’t need to walk around with a snow globe in our pocket <laugh>, but

Aaron (03:57):
Well, that’s what you do.

Jennifer (03:59):
Well, I try and come up with ideas that make people go, What, what?

Aaron (04:04):
<laugh> Why are we talking about snow

Jennifer (04:05):
Globes? I hope my friends, I hope you appreciate this about me.

Aaron (04:09):
I do.

Jennifer (04:09):
Now we have to finish

Aaron (04:10):
Listening to this. Well, you should go put it like in the far away so we don’t keep hearing you in the background. <laugh>.

Jennifer (04:15):
Okay.

Aaron (04:18):
So did you get all your snow globe out? Yeah.

Jennifer (04:20):
It’s outta my system.

Aaron (04:21):
It’s outta your system. It’s outta your shirt. It’s put away. It’s all right. So what, what is this topic

Jennifer (04:27):
Today? Yeah. So we just thought it would be really cool to do a candid and lighthearted conversation, uh, with each other. And one of the reasons is because, Aaron, you have something really exciting going on this week. So, not that we had a rush through this podcast, or, you know, be quick to record, which we kind of did. Um, do you wanna share a little bit about what

Aaron (04:47):
You’re doing? Yeah. Our church, uh, we try to every year, but it tends to be year and a half, maybe every,

Jennifer (04:53):
Yeah.

Aaron (04:53):
Um, year and a half. Um, the, the women go on a women’s retreat and then the men will go on men’s retreat, not always next to each other. That’s, that’s the, that’s the coordination issue we have. Um, we have lots of kids and just life.

Jennifer (05:06):
So I think it’s good that they’re spread

Aaron (05:07):
Out. Yeah. And it’s okay. But we finally got one coming and we’re really excited about it because, uh, we’re all, I dunno, all the men are looking forward to getting together. And what do you guys gonna do? Enjoying each other’s? Well, mostly eat food. <laugh>.

Jennifer (05:20):
Okay.

Aaron (05:21):
That’s the majority of the planning we do is like, who’s bringing what for food? <laugh>? Uh, no, I think we’re gonna do some, I don’t know. We, we tend to usually do some late nights where there’s, there’s prayer and encouragement and that sort of thing.

Jennifer (05:32):
Campfire type

Aaron (05:33):
Campfires. Yeah. Uh, Jordan plays country music, <laugh>. Um, we love it. Um, so yeah, we’re gonna, I don’t know, we have a lot of fun things playing. Cool. I’m excited. I’m just excited for it. So I’m jealous that’s

Jennifer (05:44):
Coming. I mean, I’m excited too. <laugh>.

Aaron (05:46):
Yeah.

Jennifer (05:47):
Why not? I always get a little jealous that you’re gonna go have fun and I’ll be wishing I was having that kind of fun.

Aaron (05:54):
Yeah. Well, mainly you’ll be wishing I was just still in bed, bed with you at home.

Jennifer (05:58):
I am codependent in that way for sure. But

Aaron (06:01):
I love that about you, <laugh>. Uh, so yeah, we’re gonna, this is a, it’s a light and fun conversation where we’re gonna go back and forth answering questions from each other. Uh, but really what we wanted to get out of this episode is to show there’s a, there’s a few reasons why these light and fun conversations, these candid conversations are so valuable. Um, first they can help you grow, get to know your spouse, grow closer together more intimately.

Jennifer (06:30):
So you’re saying if they were to Yeah. Engage in candid conversations, not just listen to ours. <laugh>,

Aaron (06:36):
Maybe just listening to ours could do that. Okay. But yes, it do, doing this for yourself has lots of benefits. Um, two, it really is quality time with each other. If you just think about spending that time asking these questions, getting to hear the, an, the unique answers, even how the response comes that, that candid like, Huh. Like if it is, it, is it quick? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like it’s been on their mind for a while. You’re like, Wait a minute. Why are you even thinking about that so much? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, but it’s, it’s a, it’s truly quality time. Three, it’s

Jennifer (07:05):
A, And sorry to interrupt you. Yeah. Speaking of quality time, this even goes for couples who maybe the spouse travels for work or is gone for long periods of time. You can engage in this way via FaceTime or phone and still That is true. Get that quality

Aaron (07:19):
Time. Yeah. Doesn’t have to be in person. Yeah. Um, with technology is amazing these days. Yeah. Uh, another reason is it’s just fun and lighthearted. Uh, how much do you just want more lightheartedness? Yeah. In our marriage, sometimes we, in the day to day in the grind in the, all the kids in the homeschool and all the things like you can just kind of, we not you, we, it can, there could just kind of be constant, maybe serious or just what’s next on the agenda.

Jennifer (07:49):
You need that pressure relief valve.

Aaron (07:50):
Yeah. Pressure relief valve <laugh>. Um, Oh, like the thing you’re afraid of on the I’m thought

Jennifer (07:55):
I’m terrified of it. <laugh>. I still don’t know how

Aaron (07:57):
To use it. Yeah. Uh, slow release, always slow release <laugh>. Um, and also just who doesn’t want more of that in their marriage? Just more lightheartedness. Yeah. Uh, more joy. Um, and also it’s just all around fun and creative. I think the, so those, of course, there’s probably a bunch of other valuable, we’ll see reasons <laugh>. Yeah. So, um, that’s what we wanna do today. And we hope that in the process of this, you enjoy getting to know us a little bit more.

Jennifer (08:24):
And when you say candid, what, what you’re saying is, is like, we didn’t practice these. We don’t know.

Aaron (08:30):
We actually didn’t even write the answers down in the notes. We kind of, we didn’t discuss the answers. We

Jennifer (08:35):
Didn’t, We kind of went back and forth on the questions and you were writing them down. So you kind of have a framework for like, what the questions are. But

Aaron (08:41):
We, I also added some in there that you don’t know about. Oh,

Jennifer (08:43):
Great. See now I feel like there’s more

Aaron (08:45):
Pressure. So,

Jennifer (08:46):
Cause we’re

Aaron (08:47):
Recording this, this is candid. It really is. Uh, so if you wanna do this with your spouse, actually we wanna encourage you to do it. Uh, not as a challenge necessarily, but try and make some time to just sit down and be like, Hey, let’s have a maybe on date night, maybe when the kids go to bed before bed. Um, and you don’t have to use our questions. You could if you want, but just come up with some questions yourself and spend some time just

Jennifer (09:09):
Getting to know each other.

Aaron (09:10):
Yeah. And, but having fun, just having a light conversation with your spouse. Um, and you never know what might come of it really. I think. So we’re gonna just jump in and since I’ve been doing all the talking so far, <laugh>, Jennifer can ask the first question.

Jennifer (09:28):
Okay. Who is someone in your life right now that you look up to?

Aaron (09:33):
That’s

Jennifer (09:34):
So, because I asked this question, you have to answer first

Aaron (09:36):
<laugh>. I didn’t remember putting that first. Um, man, this is a, um, hard one.

Jennifer (09:46):
Really.

Aaron (09:47):
No, you know what? I have a buddy. It came quickly. His name, I’m gonna say his name. <laugh>. His name is Stan’s Love.

Jennifer (09:55):
Aw.

Aaron (09:56):
Yeah. We call Stan.

Jennifer (09:57):
Stan love

Aaron (09:58):
<laugh>. I, I look up to him in the way he loves his wife and his kids. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. I really do.

Jennifer (10:03):
He’s good.

Aaron (10:05):
He, I just, I don’t wanna say envy because it’s something I am actually striving for and desire to be like. But he’s got such a, a quiet and gentle demeanor with his, he’s got three girls and a boy and he’s just so gentle with them. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and patient. And, and so I just, I I think I look up to him.

Jennifer (10:26):
That’s cool. Yeah. I see qualities in him, like being very loyal. Um, being a romantic, like he takes his girls on dates, like his little girls on morning dates and bike rides. And

Aaron (10:36):
That’s Stan. Yeah. And also he listens to this podcast. So Hi Stan

Jennifer (10:41):
<laugh>. Awesome. Well, somebody I look up to is my friend Nicki. And you mentioned Jordan, which they’re married Jordan. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> plays guitar. And Nicki is a close friend of mine who I was just thinking about when she goes through hard things, like her faithfulness is just highlighted even more. And her steadfastness in trusting God. And I’m not saying she doesn’t have hard days or that she doesn’t even, you know, cry about it or, or you know, wrestle with hard thoughts. But the way that she presents herself Yeah. She’s got is so strong

Aaron (11:15):
Humility and a patience about her.

Jennifer (11:19):
Yeah. Yeah. And, and with her kids and the way that she parents. And so I just really value those qualities that I see in her. And it makes me wanna be like her when I grow up. <laugh>

Aaron (11:27):
When we

Jennifer (11:28):
Grow up. Thank you Nikki. <laugh>.

Aaron (11:30):
Okay. I get next question cuz you did the first one. Of course. What’s one article of clothing you could never part with?

Jennifer (11:40):
Mm.

Aaron (11:41):
Hopefully it’s one that doesn’t get dirty. Cuz that would be nasty.

Jennifer (11:44):
Like, just wear the dirty thing all the time. <laugh>. Um, the first thing that came to my mind is like an oversized sweater that’s like my go-to when I just wanna feel comfy during the day. But then I also would probably just wanna keep like a piece of clothing from you cuz I get sentimental like that. Like I I love to walk around in your flannel.

Aaron (12:02):
Can I, can I, can I say something? What you also don’t part with any of my shirts. <laugh>. You have a bucket. <laugh> a literally a bucket. I forgot about that tub full of my old shirts from like when I was 18. Yeah. 18 years old.

Jennifer (12:16):
But that’s because Okay. Aaron used to, and one day Aaron used to shop at like thrift stores and his clothing was very unique and so that was emo. Yeah. And so I saved them so that when our kids got to be in their teens, they would have fun kind of sifting through that stuff. And I think you’ll have fun doing it.

Aaron (12:34):
You said you were keeping it because you’re gonna make a quilt.

Jennifer (12:36):
Those are some other pieces of clothing

Aaron (12:38):
That I get <laugh>. Oh,

Jennifer (12:39):
I wanna make this family quilt. This is actually a really cool idea. It’s just one of those things that it’s like when I get time to do it, but I saved, when

Aaron (12:47):
We retire, all of our kids are grown up and have their own families and

Jennifer (12:51):
<laugh> over time. I’ve saved pieces of clothing from everyone, like all the kids and everything. And I do wanna make a family style quilt where there it’s like patchwork, but I don’t even know how to do that. <laugh> <laugh>. Every time we move Aaron’s like, so can we toss this? And

Aaron (13:04):
This is is trash. No, that is valuable.

Jennifer (13:07):
I had to relabel it. Just so you, so

Aaron (13:09):
Two. So truly the answer is all articles of clothing. Yeah.

Jennifer (13:12):
Everything. Yeah. You

Aaron (13:13):
Don’t get rid of, um, the, the, I think I, so I have a belt I really like mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I’ve had it for many years. Apparently has a 99 year warranty. That’s that’s a long time. Yeah. So I don’t know why it’s not a hundred

Jennifer (13:25):
Year. So you can’t, so you can’t part

Aaron (13:26):
With it. I can’t par with it. Um, but I really like that leather belt. It’s stylish

Jennifer (13:32):
And it holds things up.

Aaron (13:34):
It holds lots of things up my pants, other things. Uh, so that’s, yeah, mine would be a belt. Okay.

Jennifer (13:42):
All right. We have five children currently and um, I believe this is the longest time. Well I am saying this, but you wrote it <laugh> sounds funny. Of course, of course. I know this <laugh> this has been the longest time we’ve gone without being pregnant again, But

Aaron (13:59):
Do you believe it?

Jennifer (14:00):
Yes. <laugh>. I believe

Aaron (14:01):
That. Okay, good.

Jennifer (14:02):
So Ed’s two and a half. And so if we even got pregnant right now, like the gap would be our, our

Aaron (14:08):
Largest gap. This be the largest gap

Jennifer (14:09):
Age-wise. Uh, but people ask us randomly, Well, are you gonna have another? And so Aaron, what are your thoughts on

Aaron (14:16):
That? They have been asking us that lately. When are you gonna have another baby? Not

Jennifer (14:19):
Lately. Just always <laugh>.

Aaron (14:20):
I’ll always the question it’s, Yeah, it’s mostly like a surprise. Like, you’re not pregnant yet.

Jennifer (14:24):
Do you ever get bothered when people ask you?

Aaron (14:26):
Um, no.

Jennifer (14:27):
Me neith.

Aaron (14:28):
Um, there’s certain ways people ask that I might get bothered, but What do you mean? Like, I don’t know, like in a derogatory or negative sense. Like are are you gonna have another one? Like, that bothers me. Um, whether we have one, another one or not. Who

Jennifer (14:43):
Would ask you a question like that?

Aaron (14:44):
Not, not friends of ours, but other people that when they see we have five kids, <laugh>, they’re like, Are you gonna have anymore more? I

Jennifer (14:51):
Don’t, I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me

Aaron (14:52):
Like that. People have asked me that way. That’s sad. So yes, I would be bothered in that sense. Okay. But, um, I don’t get bothered when our friends ask us if we’re gonna have another, cause I think they genuinely want us to have another baby.

Jennifer (15:02):
What happens if I ask you if you want another?

Aaron (15:06):
Have you asked me that?

Jennifer (15:09):
Um, yes, actually I have. Yeah, you have. You said you’re not ready.

Aaron (15:13):
I, I didn’t say not ready. This is my answer I’ve been giving people, So if you’re gonna ask my thoughts on this, my answer has been I’m currently enjoying where we’re at.

Jennifer (15:24):
<laugh>. Same. So I, that’s how I’d answer that. I I’m content where we’re at.

Aaron (15:28):
I don’t, I I tend to not be, I’m not able to think in terms of being done or not. Yeah. Because we could be done. I don’t know. Like that’s,

Jennifer (15:38):
I I’ve been

Aaron (15:38):
Savoring it, it’s a biological thing in some sense.

Jennifer (15:40):
<laugh>, I’ve been savoring my time with Edia as if she was my last just in case. But I’m also, I feel openhanded and openhearted too if we did have

Aaron (15:48):
More. Right. So I, I’m not, I don’t have any negative thought of having any more children, but I am really enjoying that all of our kids are outta diapers. Yeah. That’s pretty awesome.

Jennifer (15:57):
Yeah. That’s been cool.

Aaron (15:59):
So that’s my thought. I think that’s my thoughts on that. Okay.

Jennifer (16:02):
We can move on.

Aaron (16:03):
Yeah, I just a little add on question. It’s not even on this list. Candid

Jennifer (16:08):
<laugh>. Okay.

Aaron (16:09):
If we did get pregnant, would you be more excited for a girl or for a boy?

Jennifer (16:16):
I think that either one would be great. Another girl would even out the three boys, three girls

Aaron (16:23):
And we’d need a bigger bedroom already for them.

Jennifer (16:25):
<laugh>. I ha I I think I would really enjoy having a boy. I have good pregnancies with boys. That is great. Better ones. So I dunno.

Aaron (16:34):
I think another girl would be awesome to that whole even out thing.

Jennifer (16:39):
We’ll see.

Aaron (16:41):
Hmm. Everyone like that’s

Jennifer (16:43):
Listening is like, No, I’m not pregnant.

Aaron (16:45):
<laugh>, everyone’s, they’re waiting or they’re praying like, wait a minute, are they okay, here’s a question. What’s your happiest memory from childhood?

Jennifer (16:55):
Ooh. Gotta take me way back. If you have one on hand that you can share. And I will think through that. Um, I,

Aaron (17:07):
My happiest memory,

Jennifer (17:10):
I mean I feel like it probably has to do with an amusement park <laugh>, just because I grew up, I lived in Southern California and my parents would take us to those. So I feel like that was like a fun Thats very farm. Yeah. Knottsberry farm, Disneyland, that those were fun things. But if you mean like a sentimental, like I remember this one time I was with my mom, I was probably like six, maybe seven. And she sat me down in the front yard and I remember it was sunny and warm and she had the bible open and she was talking about, she was talking to me about praying or something like that. And it felt very like warm and cozy and it was a very vivid memory even still. And I really appreciated that. That’s cool time.

Aaron (17:51):
That’s the happiest memory. Yeah. Uh, the first, uh, one that came to my mind, I don’t know if it’s even like a memory, but I mean I guess it is memory, but it was getting this, this toy Uzi and I remember it was the most awesome toy gun I ever had. And I remember it so vividly because I also, it disappeared one day and I was so sad about that. Oh, sad. So it’s also ha a sad memory, but it was the happiest memory. But I just, I tend to wonder if my mom just got rid of that thing or something. <laugh>. But it was awesome. And back then I don’t even think they did the orange tips on the guns. It was just, they were even more cool back then. But I get why they do that now. So that’s my happiest memory. Probably have other ones that I can’t think of currently, but, Okay. What is one dish, not satellite dish food dish that reminds you of home?

Jennifer (18:45):
I don’t think anybody was thinking satellite dish.

Aaron (18:47):
I’m just making sure.

Jennifer (18:49):
Okay. Um, like home, like childhood, I’m assuming like home, you

Aaron (18:54):
Name it. I don’t know you home when you, you’re eating like, oh this is like, this is home for me. <laugh> this

Jennifer (19:00):
Food. I don’t eat it anymore because I’m not the one that made it. My mom made it.

Aaron (19:05):
Wait, I know what it is. What can I just guess it? Yeah. Is it cream peas over toast? So,

Jennifer (19:10):
Or wait, is that what it’s called? Yeah. Well yeah, but I didn’t need that because peas Oh yeah, creamed eggs. My mom would make cream creamed peas over toast and it’s literally like a cream gravy with peas in it over toast with butter sounds and everybody ate it, but I just couldn’t do it. And so my mom would make me a separate pot of creamed eggs over toast and it was so good. I think my brother knows how to make it and he does a really great job. Or maybe it’s my sister-in-law. I have never attempted to make it, but when I think of that meal, like I think of home

Aaron (19:41):
Is so good. I couldn’t get down with that, but

Jennifer (19:43):
So creamed eggs is the hard boiled. It’s hard boiled egg mixed with this gravy stuff and it’s like peppery. Okay.

Aaron (19:49):
I think I’ve had it before. It’s pretty good. Yeah. But I, I can see why you would see that as a homey thing. Okay. My, I I only have one thing. Do you know what it is?

Jennifer (20:00):
Um, chicken nuggets. <laugh>.

Aaron (20:03):
No chicken nuggets. I do love chicken nuggets. <laugh>. No, you do. What does it make me think of? Ho What’s my favorite dish that my mom used to make?

Jennifer (20:12):
Oh, um, Sopa. Well, well what

Aaron (20:14):
She called. So she’s called sopa. I don’t think it was actually sopa.

Jennifer (20:16):
It was like, um,

Aaron (20:17):
Kind of like, it was like mac and cheese. Yeah, it was these little round noodles and cheese and like tomato sauce, cilantro and yeah, it Oh, with tons of cheese on it.

Jennifer (20:29):
I’ve made that for you a couple of times

Aaron (20:31):
And I love it. Yeah, it’s, yeah. I should have my mom make that <laugh>. Yeah. For me. Cuz I actually want some right now. That is my

Jennifer (20:40):
Dish. Okay. How would you describe me in three words? I think we did this on the podcast when we did that round, lightning round of questions.

Aaron (20:48):
Did

Jennifer (20:48):
We? Or did we skip over it?

Aaron (20:50):
I don’t know. Well, I’m gonna try and pick really good ones. <laugh>.

Jennifer (20:55):
I

Aaron (20:56):
Need thoughtful number one, you’re very thoughtful as in you think about everything.

Jennifer (21:02):
Everything. <laugh> always <laugh>. I know this, I’m an overthinker,

Aaron (21:06):
But with good intentions. Okay. Yeah. Um, You’re thoughtful. You are. Um hmm. Passionate.

Jennifer (21:15):
You think I’m

Aaron (21:15):
Passionate. I do. Cuz I think you, because the, i how do I say this? The things that you so desperately want to be good at you, you chase it and you work at it. And you, it’s also the thing that like, you, you cry about. Like, you, you, they make you sad. Like, I, I wanna be better in this area or I wanna be, you know, I wanna homeschool my kids. Well I wanna, I wanna learn guitar <laugh>. I need to go guitar. Uh, you’re passionate. And so that’s only two. Oh, I need a third. Really good one. I think you’re beautiful.

Jennifer (21:50):
<laugh>. You’re making me blush.

Aaron (21:52):
<laugh>. That’s not one of the words. Beautiful. Thank you. Not blush. Now I do. I think you’re beautiful inside and out. I think your heart for people, your heart for your family, your heart for me and your heart for God is beautiful.

Jennifer (22:04):
Thank you. My three words for you would be, well also passionate. But why I was thinking you can’t still I know, but I was thinking in different terms of like when you’re in a conversation or when you’re talking about something that you know well and have an opinion on or you know, just, um, hobbies or things that you like to do. You get so passionate and involved and every ounce of your being is like love

Aaron (22:31):
Stewart. It sounds like I’m arguing <laugh>. Yeah. I promise I’m not arguing.

Jennifer (22:35):
<laugh>. Um, another word is confident. I see you as confident in your ability, in your giftings, in your friendships, in your, in our marriage, in finances, in a lot

Aaron (22:49):
Of things. Well, it’s because I live by a motto. Fake until you make it <laugh>. Okay. So no one actually no one actually knows. Okay.

Jennifer (22:55):
Yeah. I don’t know then. Okay. Uh, and then the last one would be, um,

Aaron (23:03):
You can’t say beautiful.

Jennifer (23:04):
I was gonna say interesting. <laugh>. You’re very interesting. Uh, I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t have a

Aaron (23:13):
Very unique’s better than interesting. Sorry. You’re very unique.

Jennifer (23:16):
You’re unique and

Aaron (23:17):
Interesting or, or invaluable or priceless.

Jennifer (23:20):
<laugh>. Um, I, I’ll say this, You’re loyal to me. And what I mean by that is like, you are are faithful to me. But then beyond that, it’s like you, you wanna please me? You wanna help me do things like around our house or, or write a book or, uh, just anything in life that we team up together on. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. I feel like a lot of it’s just supporting me.

Aaron (23:44):
<laugh>. Like what’s one of the things I’m doing around the house right now?

Jennifer (23:47):
<laugh>? Well you’re, you’re building a chicken coop for the chickens that you didn’t want. I know. <laugh>, which I appreciate having. And we’re, we started getting,

Aaron (23:55):
Well, most people hear chicken coop. Do you think like, um, like a four foot by two foot box with like a cage? Or do you think 40 foot by 10 foot? Massive.

Jennifer (24:08):
Well, you’re kind of telling on yourself because you wanted, I didn’t give you dimensions. You built that thing as big as it is, but it’s gonna make the backyard look really nice. It is gonna look awesome. The chickens are gonna be

Aaron (24:17):
Happy when I finish it one day. One day. <laugh>. And it will Was that, I will finish it someday. <laugh>.

Jennifer (24:24):
It’s gotta happen before snow. Yeah. <laugh>. Oh yeah. All right, you why’d you next

Aaron (24:29):
One. Okay. Is there anything about our relationship Good deep prayer that feels totally unique to us?

Jennifer (24:39):
Hmm.

Aaron (24:39):
I, this is actually kind of difficult because I can say there’s certain things I can say. I’m like, but I know this couple that does that and I know this couple that does

Jennifer (24:45):
That. Oh,

Aaron (24:46):
I see what you’re saying. Like, totally unique to us.

Jennifer (24:49):
I think like

Aaron (24:50):
You could say author, we know a lot of authors <laugh>. It’s not unique to us.

Jennifer (24:55):
Yeah. But we’re unique. I think what makes us unique is that we’ve dipped into, um, like traditional publishing, self-publishing, podcasting. We did videos for a while, blogging, like we’ve touched all,

Aaron (25:10):
Tried a self-publishing e-course, tried <laugh>, other things. Building vans. Well,

Jennifer (25:15):
I think we’re really good at taking a dream and putting it into action

Aaron (25:19):
And seeing if it sticks to the wall

Jennifer (25:21):
Yeah. And we’re okay when it doesn’t <laugh>.

Aaron (25:26):
Yeah. I’d say that’s probably a, like if you just like, were to take tear down those like onion layers, like that, uh, flexibility.

Jennifer (25:34):
Like we’re willing to say yes

Aaron (25:36):
To a lot of things. <laugh>

Jennifer (25:38):
Extraordinary

Aaron (25:39):
Things we said. Yeah. We said yes to a lot of things and not all those things like worked out and we were okay with that. So that flexibility, that ability to Yeah, that’s a good one. Unique to us. I was thinking, gosh, I think our, what makes us unique or something that’s unique to us, which I guess would be the same thing.

Jennifer (26:00):
Just answer the questionnaire. I

Aaron (26:01):
Think our, I think our outlook on life and my, my what I mean by that is I feel like most people, many people and I, and if you’re not this way, don’t think I’m generalizing you into this category, but

Jennifer (26:17):
You’re just trying to find Yeah. A unique of

Aaron (26:20):
Us. Most people have this like, career idea or end result or they have this, this specific goal in mind for their life. But I feel like we’ve looked at our life more of a,

Jennifer (26:36):
We’re gonna throw a clump here, we’re gonna throw a clump here and like Yeah. Well, what’s, wait for the picture to come up.

Aaron (26:40):
Yeah. But, but not for the sake of the end result, but for the sake of the journey itself. Mm. And I feel like we’ve always been that way. Yeah. That yes, there’s been like, we’re looking forward to this thing or we’re looking for that thing. But like, I don’t, when I try and think about our future, I think like, well, what do we have now? And, and are we enjoying what we have now? And, and we, we do, we try, we tend to try and enjoy and live currently. Yeah. I don’t know, maybe that’s not even unique to us, but that’s

Jennifer (27:08):
Good.

Aaron (27:08):
I like it. It feels like it is to us. Did you ask that question by the

Jennifer (27:12):
Way? I don’t remember.

Aaron (27:13):
I think, I think I did. When of your ex and ex x The next one. It,

Jennifer (27:18):
When we are apart, what do you miss most about me?

Aaron (27:24):
Hmm. Are we doing PG

Jennifer (27:27):
Aaron? Stop

Aaron (27:29):
<laugh>. I, to be honest, I I just like being around you. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And usually I’m like, Oh, if I’m gonna go do this a trip, um, sometimes I have to drive to Portland and I think, Oh, that’s gonna be nice time alone. And very quickly into the trip. I just wish you were with me. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and like this men’s retreat last time I remember all of us were like, day one, we’re like, Yeah, this is great. It feels so good. It’s, And then like the next day everyone’s like calling their wives and their kids. That’s

Jennifer (27:58):
Cuz we’re so

Aaron (27:59):
Fun and all and the whole time I’m thinking like, this would be so much fun with our wives. <laugh>. Yeah. Doing like a couples retreat. I think just having you with me when I, whatever I’m doing, I, It’s usually better with

Jennifer (28:09):
You. Yeah. And because I know this about you and how you feel towards me, every time you leave the house, whether it’s just to the store or to the bathroom, you wanna go with me? I call you and I’m like, Where are you? What are you doing? What’s true?

Aaron (28:21):
You do do

Jennifer (28:22):
That. You, you’ve been joking lately.

Aaron (28:24):
Like you could be in the other room and you call me. I’m like, What? Why are you calling me? I’m literally in the other

Jennifer (28:28):
Room. <laugh>. I know. I just, you always ask

Aaron (28:31):
Me like, Yeah, where are you at?

Jennifer (28:32):
I can’t go five minutes without you. It’s true. And I, I am codependent in that way of like, not only do I like you and I like your company, but I actually need your help. Like, I need you to just hang something up for me or build a chicken coop,

Aaron (28:45):
<laugh>. And I always think, what does she do when I’m gone? <laugh>, Who does she call <laugh> to help her if she needs me

Jennifer (28:50):
This way? No, I call you.

Aaron (28:51):
Yeah. Can you please come home? I’m in Portland, <laugh>. No, that’s true. So what do you miss most about me? Is it just also me?

Jennifer (29:00):
No, I just, I miss your presence. Yeah. And don’t like being alone. Yeah. Having kids of help.

Aaron (29:05):
It helps you fall asleep too when I’m home. Yeah. Like you don’t, you have a hard, You know what’s funny is I actually have a hard time falling asleep when I’m alone. Really? Oh yeah. It’s weird. Hmm. It’s like I, I’m like, Oh, I, I can be on my computer and, and then I’m like, hours go by. I’m like, why am I not gonna to bed? <laugh> like, Yeah. It’s hard to go to sleep without you.

Jennifer (29:23):
I didn’t know that. It’s 15 years of marriage. I didn’t know

Aaron (29:26):
That. It’s hard to go to sleep without you. Did you? I know. I actually can’t remember what it was like before we were married. Yeah. Sleeping alone. Isn’t that weird?

Jennifer (29:36):
Hmm, hmm

Aaron (29:38):
Hmm. Yeah. We’ll we’re almost, we’re almost married longer than we were alive. Single.

Jennifer (29:45):
Oh, <laugh>. I don’t know why I said this.

Aaron (29:46):
It’s not true. No. Alive, right? Like if we’re,

Jennifer (29:50):
Well like we got married

Aaron (29:51):
15 years,

Jennifer (29:52):
We got married so young

Aaron (29:53):
And I’m 38. Like we’re only a few years away from like cresting that like being married longer than we were a single <laugh>. That’s exciting. Okay. If you could relive one year of your life, just one, which year would it be?

Jennifer (30:08):
Oh, that’s a good question.

Aaron (30:10):
I know some of these You didn’t see me put on this. I was

Jennifer (30:12):
Sneaking there. See if you could relive one year of your life. Well it depends on why you would wanna relive it. Cuz I could say this last year so that I can relive it with a better perspective and

Aaron (30:22):
Attitude. <laugh> do everything different,

Jennifer (30:23):
Do everything better. Um, or if it’s just one that you just really enjoyed and you wanna do again Uh hmm. I would probably say, or like, could I change things in that year? You know what I mean? Like what are the boundaries here?

Aaron (30:43):
Well if you could relive it, that means you’re living it again with Yeah. New understanding.

Jennifer (30:49):
Okay. Um,

Aaron (30:52):
Can we do it together?

Jennifer (30:53):
What

Aaron (30:54):
Do you mean? Well, would you relive our first year of marriage?

Jennifer (30:57):
I was gonna say second because first was Well that, that yeah, that would be fine. First year of

Aaron (31:03):
Marriage. First year or second year. I would be, I would do that.

Jennifer (31:05):
Yeah. First or second year of

Aaron (31:06):
Marriage with renewed with the perspectives. Yes. We have now. Yes. And all the stock picks we have now and all. I’m just kidding. Yes. No, but all the, yeah, all the, the ways we know. Cuz I, I look back on those times and I, I grieve them cuz we didn’t know things. Yeah. We were like naive and,

Jennifer (31:23):
And yet it was an

Aaron (31:24):
Adventure. Selfish. And, but when we look back we’re like, that could have been probably better. Way better.

Jennifer (31:29):
But it was fun. It was, it was good. Okay. Is it my turn? Nailed it. Okay. How could we make our marriage more exciting?

Aaron (31:37):
Go back to year one. Right. And

Jennifer (31:40):
Today, Aaron Oh, before you leave for men’s retreat

Aaron (31:44):
<laugh>, I, I want you to answer this first cuz I actually don’t know

Jennifer (31:47):
I’m thinking about about it. How could we make, I know for me personally, <laugh>, I think that our marriage would be more exciting if you can tap into that romantic side of yourself and be more advantageous in your, um, in your

Aaron (32:06):
This was how can we

Jennifer (32:08):
<laugh>? Sorry. How

Aaron (32:09):
Can we,

Jennifer (32:11):
I don’t even know how to say what I’m saying. Like I want Okay. That surprise element of like me pulling out the, the snow globe. You

Aaron (32:17):
Want, you want me to surprise you with

Jennifer (32:20):
Things and

Aaron (32:22):
Surprise experience,

Jennifer (32:24):
Surprise attacks. Sure. If that’s how it helped you have

Aaron (32:26):
Jujitsu moves.

Jennifer (32:27):
Sure. No

Aaron (32:28):
Chuck holds and no. Oh, that’s what you did to me today. I know. Or yesterday.

Jennifer (32:32):
Okay. And I won.

Aaron (32:34):
So more exciting. So you’re you, we

Jennifer (32:37):
I wanna be caught off guard in a good, good way.

Aaron (32:39):
Oh, you want like a, like a surprise Heart.

Jennifer (32:45):
Heart

Aaron (32:45):
Attack attack. <laugh>.

Jennifer (32:47):
Yes.

Aaron (32:48):
That would be more exciting for you.

Jennifer (32:51):
Uh, I think it would, it would help us to have more fun too. I don’t know.

Aaron (32:55):
Like this?

Jennifer (32:55):
Yeah. What do you think?

Aaron (32:58):
Um, more exciting. Mm.

Jennifer (33:03):
I mean we could take more vacations but that costs money.

Aaron (33:06):
<laugh>? No. Yeah. I’m thinking uh, more random outings that are not common to us. Like we

Jennifer (33:15):
Tried,

Aaron (33:16):
Like experiences. So do you remember when we went on that date and we went fishing and didn’t catch anything but we just tried to, we found a fishing hole and Yeah. Like thing, things like that that we didn’t grow up doing necessarily, but we could. And maybe you did. I didn’t really grow up fishing, but yeah. Uh, let’s do it. Going. Finding interesting hikes. Trying to find a, a lake that we’ve never been to before. Uh, but being, doing stuff.

Jennifer (33:39):
We talked about having more like active date nights, but our dates have been kind of wonky lately. <laugh>. Yeah. Again, we always go in and out of seasons of like really good date days and then

Aaron (33:51):
Very, But again, we’re okay with it because we’re, Yeah. Flexible. Flexible <laugh>.

Jennifer (33:56):
Okay. What’s something you’d like us to prioritize?

Aaron (34:01):
Prioritize

Jennifer (34:02):
In marriage or family or anything in life?

Aaron (34:05):
Yeah. Um, I’d like to see us prioritize more Bible reading and book reading.

Jennifer (34:14):
Just overall everybody.

Aaron (34:16):
Yeah. And like, but downplay some of the extracurricular things, social media movies. Which again, we don’t do tons of that, but I think we could lessen one and increase the other.

Jennifer (34:30):
Okay. What’s something I would like to prioritize? Um, well I think it goes back to us moving into this house and settling in. And I know we’ve done a lot of like projects and trying to get things done, but there’s some spots inside the house that frustrate me. It’s mostly me. Like the, it’s living closet. It’s not your fault, it’s my fault. I need to like, there’s stacks of paper and books and I

Aaron (34:55):
Know you do not wanna see our table that we’re at right now.

Jennifer (34:57):
It’s like, it’s frustrating to look at but at the same time it’s like, I don’t have time for you today <laugh>. I

Aaron (35:02):
Actually thought about this so I changed my answer to Yeah. To agree. I think we should prioritize.

Jennifer (35:07):
I wanna finish moving

Aaron (35:08):
In the house better.

Jennifer (35:08):
Yeah. Yeah. And I keep telling myself, well when winter gets here and we can’t do any work outside, then I’ll be forced to face

Aaron (35:14):
It. Which there’s nothing wrong with that cuz I think that’s a very good plan cuz we have other outside things that we need to get done. Cool.

Jennifer (35:19):
Sounds like we’re on the same page. Let’s do it.

Aaron (35:23):
What’s your most irrational fear?

Jennifer (35:27):
I have a lot of ’em. <laugh>. There’s one that kind of haunts

Aaron (35:32):
Me in frogs and boots.

Jennifer (35:33):
Just thought Jennifer. I um, there’s one that often happens when, like out of my peripheral vision, if there’s like an odd shape or shadow or something, I think something is just there or someone and I turn around really fast and it’s like a laundry basket or a towel hanging up. I’m like, why am I so easy to get

Aaron (35:55):
Myself? I think a lot of us, I tend to feel that way if it’s dark and I, I stop, I’ll, I’ll sometimes we’ll stop for an extra long period of time to see if that

Jennifer (36:04):
Shadow

Aaron (36:04):
Moves, moves <laugh> and then I keep going like, it’s nothing. I thought that I knew that it’s not moving. So I don’t think that’s too irrational. Okay. I do think you have a slightly irrational fear of spiders.

Jennifer (36:16):
I hate spiders.

Aaron (36:17):
I everyone hates spiders. But when it’s like the teenies spider and you all, you have to do a step on it and you scream and I hold, I have to come kill it for you.

Jennifer (36:26):
And Okay. I mentioned my friend Nikki. We, we were working out in the garage the other day and I look over and this thing is massive big black in the corner spider. And I was like, Nikki, I I need you to go over there and I should take care of that for me cuz Aaron’s still asleep and, and uh, and she was so brave. She just walked around over was

Aaron (36:46):
It really big and massive.

Jennifer (36:47):
Like I would’ve grabbed like a broom or something long to like kill it. But she just grabbed like a piece of paper towel and just smooshed it. I heard it crack under her.

Aaron (36:54):
How big was it? It was huge.

Jennifer (36:56):
Like bigger than a petty? No. Quarter

Aaron (36:58):
Bigger. Okay. The body or the whole thing? Yeah, The

Jennifer (37:01):
Body was, well I don’t know,

Aaron (37:03):
<laugh>.

Jennifer (37:04):
I

Aaron (37:04):
Dunno. That’s what irrational fears do. <laugh>.

Jennifer (37:07):
Just kidding. It

Aaron (37:08):
Could have bit me. I have a ex, I don’t know if this is irrational by the way, but I will not use public toilets. <laugh> to go number two. <laugh>. That’s a serious one.

Jennifer (37:22):
<laugh>. I mean

Aaron (37:25):
I only break that rule under extreme duress. Like

Jennifer (37:28):
What’s the fear?

Aaron (37:28):
I have no idea.

Jennifer (37:30):
But people like, you don’t want someone

Aaron (37:31):
To hear you. I don’t want someone hear me. You

Jennifer (37:33):
Know. Everybody poops there.

Aaron (37:35):
How dare you. How dare you. Okay, before I get the sweats, we should move on <laugh>. Gosh.

Jennifer (37:43):
Not that you’re gonna say something else.

Aaron (37:45):
<laugh>. We should move on to

Jennifer (37:47):
Another question. I think I asked that one. Which one? Man, I keep getting lost. I don’t know. Where are we at? Let me just ask it. What one household chore do you wish you never had to do again?

Aaron (37:57):
Why do you think you’ve asked this question before?

Jennifer (37:59):
No, I, I thought I asked. No, I thought I asked the last question. Oh. But I guess it doesn’t matter. It

Aaron (38:04):
Doesn’t matter.

Jennifer (38:05):
All of the above d all of the above. <laugh>

Aaron (38:08):
Household chores, Check <laugh>, the household chore. Um,

Jennifer (38:12):
I can tell you the chores that I don’t do that I wish I did but can’t cause don’t I don’t prioritize them

Aaron (38:18):
Because you’re rational fear of taking the trash out. <laugh> or <laugh>.

Jennifer (38:26):
Okay, moving on. Uh, no I don’t, I don’t ever get to the baseboards.

Aaron (38:31):
The baseboards?

Jennifer (38:32):
Yeah. But it bothers me cuz I walk by them and I see them them and I think to myself, Oh I should, I should attack you <laugh>. And then I don’t

Aaron (38:39):
Uh, What’s a household chore? Uh, I’m trying to like, I don’t know if there’s any,

Jennifer (38:47):
I’ll say this. Can I say math? If toilets could self clean themselves, I would never clean a toilet again.

Aaron (38:53):
That I actually appreciate that you clean the toilets.

Jennifer (38:56):
<laugh>. Yeah. I think the hardest one is the toilet of the kids’ bathroom. Cuz you know, you know

Aaron (39:01):
It’s

Jennifer (39:02):
A it’s a big job. Kids’ toilet

Aaron (39:04):
<laugh>. Yep. I’m, I’m just gonna say I, I can’t think of one actually.

Jennifer (39:11):
I think you need to do more chores then. Well

Aaron (39:13):
Maybe that’s true Jennifer. Okay, we’ll move on. Which family traditions from your childhood would you like us to continue?

Jennifer (39:24):
Uh, I really enjoy Christmas Eve services. It’s something that my parents always highlighted for us that we would go to dinner with family and then go to like a candlelight service at church. And it would if to me it always felt rich and everyone dressed up and there was dark and moody colors and the candles and the music and there was always like a violinist or something special. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And we did that last year with the kids. We went, I feel like we’ve done it

Aaron (39:49):
Maybe not every year, but we’ve done it quite a few times. I

Jennifer (39:51):
Love it

Aaron (39:52):
Since having

Jennifer (39:52):
Kids. And I really like Christmas probably cuz it’s a week for my birthday, but mm-hmm. <affirmative>. I like that whole time in season.

Aaron (40:00):
Uh, that’s funny because Christmas was what I thought too, but it says traditions. But Christmas, all I can think of. <laugh>, uh, we opened stockings on like in the Christmas morning. Yeah. That was always the first thing we opened. It was like stockings and then we had to wait for breakfast and then we did presents way, way. It always felt like it was like the afternoon by the time we opened presents, but it wasn’t, it was like

Jennifer (40:21):
10. What was some of your favorite things in the,

Aaron (40:23):
In the space stockings? We would be, without a doubt always get this life savers multi-pack.

Jennifer (40:29):
Oh my gram used to gimme

Aaron (40:30):
Those and it would come with like the um, the mixed flavor and then it would come with the butter scotch that

Jennifer (40:37):
Was favorite

Aaron (40:37):
Like mint ones. And it would come with the, and I don’t know why I liked those one. It was just candy. We didn’t get that much candy. I

Jennifer (40:42):
Think it was the nineties thing.

Aaron (40:44):
It was a nineties thing. Yeah. Nineties kids. Everyone that’s born in the nineties are like Yeah.

Jennifer (40:47):
Yeah. We all are creating life saves

Aaron (40:49):
Multi pack. Uh, and then there would always be like some, I, I actually tended to felt, I felt like some of the best gifts I got were also in the stocking. It was like a little pcca knife or a little laser pen or it was a little and those things I thought were awesome for some reason I

Jennifer (41:06):
Feel like I got silly putty every year. Like

Aaron (41:08):
I did also get silly putty, but I love silly put so

Jennifer (41:11):
Yeah. Who doesn’t love silly?

Aaron (41:12):
It was like the target, like nails this now this is, they’re one their dollar section. This is all the stocking stuffers that we used to get was kids. It’s like turned into like adulthood normal normalcy cuz we all grew up with it. Okay. What makes you laugh?

Jennifer (41:28):
You babe? No, on a serious note. Um, Insta story

Aaron (41:33):
Reel. Serious note. What makes me laugh? It is true. Memes. We, this is actually one of the past times that Jennifer and I indulge in every once in a while is we’ll sit and I just, I look over her shoulder. She,

Jennifer (41:43):
I’m slapping at myself, Goes

Aaron (41:44):
Through <laugh> Instagram reels. Um, esp. Okay. I was just thinking about this when we’re talking about trash, taking out the trash when we come across those marriage ones, they’re so accurate. Yeah, they’re so, so funny. I’m like, wait a minute. So is this like, just the majority of marriages deal with this exact thing? Like, oh it’s so funny.

Jennifer (42:04):
I’ll also say that I like, again going back to this whole like surprise attack thing, like being uh, randomly tickled or like physical touch stuff makes me laugh. Um, and then being with friends and I have some really silly girlfriends and we like to do pranks. We like to try and do challenges like, um, what’s it called when you do TikTok? Challenges? I don’t know. I know it’s silly. Oh.

Aaron (42:28):
Cause

Jennifer (42:29):
We’re in our thirties, but talk challenges. Yeah. But the kind where it’s like partner partner. Like you’re supposed be be doing something right and taking front on that random, but it’ll be late at night.

Aaron (42:38):
The tortilla

Jennifer (42:39):
Slap. Oh the tortilla slap was so funny. So I like that we have friends that are willing to engage in silliness and that makes me laugh. Thank you friends.

Aaron (42:47):
Ditto. <laugh>. I do think that’s funny. All of that. Do

Jennifer (42:51):
I ever make you laugh? Yes. I’m kind of funny.

Aaron (42:54):
I’m always laughing at you.

Jennifer (42:56):
So Aaron, if you guys wanna know something about Aaron, cuz I’m a, I’m a jokester and I like to tell jokes, but I’m, uh, insecure. So I say I’m under my breath to where only he hears them. But when he thinks they’re funny, he repeats them louder as if they were his genius. And then everybody laughs and I just look at him like, Right. Fine.

Aaron (43:15):
Needless to say, everyone thinks I’m hilarious. <laugh>. So.

Jennifer (43:18):
All right, next one. What was your reaction when you found out we were going to be parents for the first time? Do you remember that?

Aaron (43:26):
I do. I’m I You don’t mean my memory. Okay.

Jennifer (43:31):
I’ll say I, I feel like it bad with my, I feel like it was mixed emotions of this like expectation. Like we felt like it was going to happen sometime soon and so we weren’t like super surprised by it. But then there was this just cherishing of the moment of this is the last of just us. Like we know that this person’s gonna come and change our world. And we were excited. We were really excited

Aaron (43:58):
And hopeful. Yeah. I think heart palpitations, is that the word? <laugh>? Like, uh, just like a level of weight. Cuz becoming a dad for the first time, there’s that, Oh my goodness, I’m not allowed to be selfish anymore. <laugh>. Or like Yeah, like this. I felt like there was a weight, not a, not a bad one, but like a heavy like, oh this is, this is real and I can’t stop it. Like, what’s happening? This is crazy. But on the outside you would’ve known that because that word confidence used <laugh>. Take it till you make it. It. Okay. I was letting everyone know that. Like, this is normal. This is great. People have babies. We’re having a baby <laugh>. Yeah. I was excited and scared outta my mind. Okay. You’ve been, uh, oh wait. No, I’m, I’m gonna go, uh, you do this question cuz I have to go to, I have to do the next

Jennifer (44:50):
Question. Okay. What are some little things I do for you that you appreciate? Well that’s really good. Go ahead and take your time. And there’s, you don’t have to say just one thing. You could just list them. Just keep them

Aaron (44:59):
Going. Yeah. Um, Jennifer, all the things that I love about you.

Jennifer (45:03):
No. All the things that you appreciate that I do for you.

Aaron (45:05):
You do a lot. I one of them toilets, we just talked about it. You clean toilets and I actually really appreciate that. You’re welcome. Um, you’re also a, a laundry champ. Yeah. And I don’t wanna say all these just household things, but they actually are huge deals because we have a lot of kids. Yeah. And they’re big deals and I don’t wanna make it sound like a small thing. It’s a feat. And I just, I really appreciate it that I always have underwear. <laugh>. Cool. That’s a pretty awesome thing. Um, but you also, you can tell when I need rest mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so you’ll let me sleep in sometimes and you’ll just, you’ll take the kids out and I appreciate that. Um, and I love that you, you know, that I have a need for relationships and, and quality time with friends and, and so you’ll,

Jennifer (45:52):
So even though I was born an introvert and, and born

Aaron (45:54):
Out, you’d rather be by codependent

Jennifer (45:56):
Just ourselves

Aaron (45:57):
Lover.

Jennifer (45:58):
I let people in.

Aaron (45:59):
Yeah. You, Well, not just let people in, but you also, like, you’ll, you’ll make time and you’ll, you’ll say, Hey Aaron, go,

Jennifer (46:04):
Go hang out with your friends. Yeah. Yeah. Go to that men’s retreat.

Aaron (46:07):
So the, those are a few things. There’s a lot more. But that I just, I really appreciate those things about you that you, you see those things and you care about ’em. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So cool. You have to answer that for me though.

Jennifer (46:16):
Oh, oh yeah. <laugh>. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Well, uh, I appreciate that on a whim when I, not every time but the mo majority of the time if I’m like, Hey, I know you’re already doing this thing over here, but will you just come hang this picture for me really quick or come use this power tool that I can’t figure out and you’re very quick to help me. And I, I appreciate that because usually I don’t know what I’m doing.

Aaron (46:38):
That’s funny cuz today you asked me and I told you no

Jennifer (46:41):
<laugh>. I know that is funny that the timing,

Aaron (46:43):
But I, I usually do.

Jennifer (46:45):
But I hope that me sharing my appreciation for you encourages you that that things that,

Aaron (46:49):
That I should go do it. What I actually, I almost did it tonight when we got in, but I, I was like, Oh, we gotta record. So I actually’s Okay. I walked price right

Jennifer (46:57):
Past. It’s, it’s a bookshelf that he’s gonna

Aaron (46:59):
I was gonna, I was gonna go and hang that up for you. It’s

Jennifer (47:02):
Okay. So,

Aaron (47:03):
And just everyone knows, the only reason I told her no today is cuz I had chicken cooped work.

Jennifer (47:07):
I know. I know. Um, what else do I appreciate about you? Uh, I I love that you lead our family and our church in using your giftings of teaching. Teaching the word and your knowledge and, and just the, the way that you, um, share it, it mm-hmm. <affirmative> is you put it in a way that’s understanding and comforting and yet firm. And I just, I really love that. I love that you, I appreciate that you push me outside of my comfort zone. Um, like podcasting or <laugh>, any of the number of things that we’ve chosen to do, uh, be missionaries and trouble. Like, just things that I don’t think in my nature and who I am, or at least who I am in that moment would choose to do without you. Does that make sense?

Aaron (47:58):
Yeah. But if you were called podcasting was your idea, was it? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>?

Jennifer (48:03):
I don’t remember.

Aaron (48:04):
Yeah. But I do push you to continue doing it. <laugh>. So I have a question for you. What, you’ve been learning guitar, haven’t you?

Jennifer (48:13):
Um, I don’t, Learning sounds like it’s an active progression of, um, Were you

Aaron (48:19):
Learning, like were you practicing last night? Yeah. Watching YouTube videos, trying, getting your strum on. So if today you were as good as you wanted to be, what would you do with that talent? Why

Jennifer (48:31):
Are you asking me that

Aaron (48:33):
You really wanna know?

Jennifer (48:35):
So this is like basically what’s my motivation for learning it?

Aaron (48:38):
No, I I I’m sure you have a lot of motivations just, just to have a skill like you wanna music, but if you were as good as you wanted to be today, Okay. What would you do with that talent?

Jennifer (48:50):
The first thing I would do is use it as a tool to engage with my kids in a fun way. So like learning, you know, I may never Martin the infantry, like songs that we sing Sunday School songs mm-hmm. <affirmative> or, um,

Aaron (49:07):
Even other, they’re CC songs,

Jennifer (49:08):
Their CC songs or any, anything that I could put to attune. Cause I actually have been doing this for years and the kids, I, I think that they love it, but I randomly make up songs and they think I’m actually really good at it, but they’re like silly songs and I try to teach them about rhyming. Like, you just,

Aaron (49:22):
You are actually really good

Jennifer (49:23):
At it. So like at night, um, and when I’m putting them to bed, they want, they kind of want me to entertain them a little bit and I’ll be like, well, gimme a word. And so they gimme a word and then I’ll make up a song about it. And they’re like, How do you do that? And so if I could learn guitar and seeing my silly songs, I feel like I would just master motherhood in that fun Mm. Kind of way. Cool.

Aaron (49:43):
That’s awesome. And that would be a totally valid use of that talent. <laugh>

Jennifer (49:48):
Maybe. I don’t need the guitar for that, but

Aaron (49:51):
No, that would be awesome. And then you’d probably end up teaching ’em.

Jennifer (49:55):
I want to teach them. Yeah. I wish I I wish I could pass that down to

Aaron (49:58):
Them. I wish you could. You will.

Jennifer (50:00):
I will. Yeah. If anything my desire for learning music, I hope we’ll get pass down to them. Like to try.

Aaron (50:10):
Yeah. Yeah.

Jennifer (50:14):
All right. Uh, what, Oh, I see. Would you ever consider an entirely different career path to the one you’re currently on?

Aaron (50:23):
Yes. And I don’t say that in a negative way. I just How dare you. We’ve always considered it. Um, if one day, Well

Jennifer (50:31):
First you have to explain what we’re currently on, right? Just so that we, we don’t

Aaron (50:34):
Know. Um, just marriage after God. Uh, our, our books and our resources and our podcasts and all these things that we’ve been doing for years now over 10 years now, uh, is, is, is our quote unquote career. And it’s also a ministry to that we, that we get to par participate in, in blessing the community and, and grow helping marriages grow closer to God and to their spouse. Um, not that I wanna stop doing this, but if one day we were forced to stop doing it, if, I mean all the podcast platforms could totally ban our type of content, uh, Amazon could not allow our books to be sold. Those things are we, that’s, that, that can happen. And so we’re, we’ve always thought we have like dreams of owning a donut store one day, like in the future. So, like I said, we don’t, we don’t have this vision of like, oh, we have this perfect ideal for our business and everything more so we see, um, ba basically what what I asked you to marry me with was whatever we’re gonna do, I wanna do for God and I wanna do with you.

(51:39):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So that could look a lot of different ways. Yeah. Doesn’t mean I want to go a different career path, but I could see an entirely different group out <laugh> if we needed to.

Jennifer (51:50):
Cool. Um, I, I agree that I think we both have flexibility in where we’re headed and what we’re doing and, uh, I’m really grateful for the experience and the, the opportunity that God’s given us with all of these things. Sometimes I get nervous being so, um, known or, or like, you know, are faces out there. Some Yeah. Level public. Yeah. Social media and feeling like I can’t turn that part off. Uh, and so if we ever got the opportunity, not right now, but like later in life to just kind of tone down a little bit what we’re doing, I think I would enjoy that. But I

Aaron (52:31):
Was like, why you tell them what you wanna, you wanna do? What don’t you have that you have an idea of? If you could just settle down and do one thing, it has to do with flowers and,

Jennifer (52:41):
Oh gosh, Aaron, now I feel like you’re just making fun of me.

Aaron (52:43):
I’m not making fun of you at

Jennifer (52:44):
All. I told Aaron that I wanna like, or <laugh> <laugh>, sometimes when I’m talking to him, my thoughts are kind of jumbled and so it’s a lot of different things, but essentially it’s a garden or like a botanical garden or something, or museum or something that someone can come and enjoy or like a nursery, like some something to do with plants where I’m just out there in nature and watering things.

Aaron (53:10):
<laugh>. That that’s, there’s nothing wrong with that. Okay.

Jennifer (53:13):
Anyway,

Aaron (53:14):
It’s, I totally did agree Mav

Jennifer (53:16):
<laugh>, but what I was gonna say to this question is, a large part of my current career path cannot be, um, changed or given up because we’ve chosen to homeschool our kids. And I feel like that is my right career right now, is just making sure that I’m on it and teaching well, and I’m gonna be doing it for a while, <laugh>.

Aaron (53:38):
So that’s a good answer. And one day you might have a botanical garden, maybe. No, I’m just saying.

Jennifer (53:44):
That’d awesome.

Aaron (53:45):
Last question. What do you feel is your purpose in life?

Jennifer (53:50):
Hmm. My purpose in life is to be a light. I tell the kids this all the time, like no matter where we are, no matter where we’re, no matter what we’re doing, we are a light in this world. Um, and we shine that light by the things that we say and the things that we do. And I feel a large portion of our purpose is to, uh, be a light for God and for his message and to shine in this dark world. And that can be done in a lot of different ways. And so that’s like the, that’s like the general picture of what my purpose is. And then if you were to like, like the umbrella, and then if you go down from there, I have a couple of other purposes that I feel very strongly about, like motherhood and, um, being a good

Aaron (54:35):
Wife, but that first purpose permeates all of them. Totally.

Jennifer (54:39):
And then, um, sub, sub sub is like just bringing that surprise to life. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know,

Aaron (54:46):
Um, this word purpose, it has a, a lot of meaning for me. Um, it’s pretty much how I got saved was the Lord calling out on me purpose and just showing me or reminding me, telling me, calling me, and, and letting me know that if I wanted purpose, then I needed to follow him. And so I, I feel like my purpose is, has been following God. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so that gets played out and every as aspect of my life, it’s not like a Christianity is this thing over here in the corner, and then my, then I have my job, and then I have my family, and then I have,

Jennifer (55:27):
Yeah, it’s all

Aaron (55:28):
Intertwined. My, my purpose is following Christ. And I feel like that’s been a my, that is my only purpose and everyone else in my life gets to, I get to benefit from it. Everyone gets to benefit from it. Just like that good fruit on the tree is eaten by those who pass by it. Um, so

Jennifer (55:48):
What, what would you say to people listening right now who maybe they’re wondering, Well, what’s my purpose? Or maybe they’ve never thought about it before or maybe they’ve never had the answer to it before. Like what mm-hmm. <affirmative> what would you say to encourage them?

Aaron (56:01):
I would say that, um, I’m gonna tell ’em the same thing that God told me is that if they wanna find purpose, they’re gonna follow Christ. He’s the one that gives true purpose because as the creator, as the designer, as the one who put his image in, in us and on us, and he’s also the one that calls us, there’s no, there is no other purpose found anywhere else, but in the one who creates the purpose. And so I would just tell them to turn their, their eyes to, to heaven and say, Lord, here I am <laugh>.

Jennifer (56:39):
It’s good. Well, we hope you guys feel encouraged today just by, uh, learning a little bit more about Aaron and I, but also just being inspired to have candid conversations with your spouse and to remember that being lighthearted and fun and, um, getting to know each other is just, just as important as all the other aspects of marriage. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And, um, Aaron, why don’t you share the weekly challenge,

Aaron (57:04):
Uh, explore a new area together or with your family? It could be a trail, a special spot to watch the sunset. A park by a river we like, we like water. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, sometimes we find spots by rivers, uh, a waterfall, which are always fun downtown areas. Um, and so just go explore a new area together. That’s your weekly challenge. Last week’s challenge was, what was it again? It was do a, it was do a surpr, um,

Jennifer (57:30):
Oh, random act.

Aaron (57:31):
Citis random. Yeah. Random act. Ditis. Uh, what was, what was yours? You did one this week.

Jennifer (57:35):
Yes, I did it on behalf of both of us. Um, but we door dashed, uh, friends of ours again, Jordan nicu, they keep coming up, um, that Nicki got hurt last week and so just, uh, door dashing them some breakfast burritos

Aaron (57:50):
And who doesn’t love a breakfast burrito? Right. These are good breakfast burritos too. <laugh>. I actually got the benefit from that random, random active friends. I

Jennifer (57:59):
Brought some home for us too. <laugh>.

Aaron (58:00):
Yeah. And by the way, we never figured out what risk. I could not figure that out the acronym. Anyways, so we’re just gonna end in prayer guys. Dear Lord, thank you so much for the creative ways we can come together and learn about each other. Thank you for how unique you have made us and how those unique qualities and ways of thinking can bring us together in such a special way. Lord, we love you and ask that you would bring more joy and light into our marriage and the marriages of those who are listening give us a deep and lasting desire to always pursue our spouse in creative ways that we would never grow tired of learning who they are and how you have a uniquely designed in Jesus name. Amen.

Jennifer (58:40):
Thank you for joining us for another episode of the Marriage After God podcast.

Aaron (58:43):
If you found today’s episode fun and encouraging, please take a moment to share it on social media or in an email to some of your married friends.

Jennifer (58:49):
Also, would you please take a moment and leave us a review, reviews, help to spread the word about our podcast?

Aaron (58:54):
Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode, and you can always check out more of our resources @ marriageaftergod.com.

Jennifer (59:00):
You can follow us on social media for more marriage encouragement on Facebook and Instagram at marriage after God at Husband Revolution, and at Unveiled

Aaron (59:08):
Wife. We hope you have an incredible week and look forward to sharing more with you next week on The Marriage After God podcast,

Speaker 3 (59:13):
La la, la la.

 

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