Confession time. In the 13 years since I have been married, I have rarely prayed with my husband. While it’s true that I have been present when he has prayed, listening intently to his conversation with God, I have not been a part of those prayers.
I am one of those people who is very uncomfortable with praying out loud, in front of others. I just don’t do it.
However, praying with my husband should be easier, right? He is one of the few people who loves me unconditionally. He knows me better than any other person. He has seen it all.
Why do I bring this up? Because God revealed to me, not long ago, that withholding the experience of praying together from my husband was keeping me from true intimacy with him. In my unwillingness to pray WITH him, I was keeping a part of myself hidden from him.
In the process of writing a letter to my husband, as encouraged in the final day of Wife After God devotional, I realized that in order to feel completely connected to my husband, I was going to have to pray with him, aloud. No matter how hard it was. So, on August 13th I wrote my letter. Here is an excerpt:
I have also learned that in order to experience true intimacy I must be vulnerable. One thing I have been holding back from you is my willingness to pray with you. I know now that I must share all of me with you, including my conversations with God. He wants us to be a team, of three. We must pray together, and I must pray, too.
I did not read this letter to my husband until October 6th, nearly two months later. I never felt ready. It wasn’t until after spending a weekend away at a women’s retreat, that I felt God leading me to share this letter.
After I read the letter, we prayed. Both of us. It was hard, yet easy. It was difficult, yet effortless.
It felt good.
While the thought of corporate prayer still scares me, the idea of praying with my husband does not. I only wish I would have realized this sooner. However, I have learned that dwelling in the past is not productive. For that reason, I will move forward, praying with my husband. Building intimacy with him and with God.
Do you pray with your husband?
Praying with your spouse makes a huge difference in marriage! I encourage to so if you are not already…and if you need a little help, check out the 31 Day Marriage Prayer Challenge.