So, What Does Restoration In Marriage Look Like?

I last wrote about the fact that our Father is a God who restores.  I am an example of His restoration and redemptive nature – as is restoration in marriage.  And while restoration in your marriage will look differently than it does in mine, there are qualities about God’s plan for us that are all similar.

So, what does marriage restoration look like?


Well, before anything else, you have to trust in God.  This isn’t as easy as it sounds, maybe some of you already know that.  Trusting in God means that you trust in His plan for you and your marriage and most importantly, it means that you trust in His timing.  God’s timing and our timing are two entirely different calendars.  It’s true that restoration can happen overnight.  The same is true for our salvation – the apostle Paul is a good example of this.  In an instantaneous meeting with Jesus, Saul, gave his life to Christ and became transformed into Paul and began to spread the Gospel like wild-fire with both passion and zeal (Acts 9). It’s certainly possible that our marriages can be restored in an instant.

But if it’s not instant – then what?

Have faith and be patient.  Know that restoration does not come from within your own self, but from above.  Let God work on you, your spouse and your marriage without getting His way.  This was hard for me, I’m not going to lie.  

For me, restoration didn’t happen until I gave it all to God.  For many years, I tried to control my marriage and my spouse.  I lived within boundaries and I had no problem shoving both God and my husband inside those perimeters.  Know that it’s never going to end well if you put God in a box.  It was not until I trusted in God completely and rested upon His Holy shoulders that restoration could even begin.  That meant, I let God heal my own heart, FIRST.  I rededicated my heart to Christ.  I asked for forgiveness for putting myself before my Father.  I forgave myself for my own sins.  And I forgave my husband for his.  And I didn’t remind him of his sins a week later.  

For many years I acted as if I was the Holy Spirit Himself.  What a humbling experience it was when I learned that I was not in control.  Do not be your husband’s Holy Spirit.  The fall from pride to humility hurts more than you think and it’s not something I would have been able to survive without the pool of God’s grace.  

Trusting God isn’t easy, especially when the world tells you otherwise.  If I had listened to all the worldly advice and opinions, I would not be married today.  The truth is one thing and one thing only is absolute and that is the Word of God.  God himself said He would never leave us and never forsake us. Why then would you forsake Him?  For your vows were not only with your husband, but with God as well.  

So, if you choose the righteous path of allowing God to restore your marriage – I pray one thing over you:

“The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

You are in good hands, my friend.  God won’t forsake you or your marriage.  He loves you so deeply and wants to give you and your marriage its joy back.  Be patient sweet one.  God’s timing cannot be calculated, but His love for you NEVER fails.  You might not know what lies ahead, but all good things come from above and He has a prosperous plan for you and your husband!

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