Are You Building Walls Or Bridges With Your Husband?

Your heart is an intricate part of who you are.  An organ that sets the pace for how you operate.  Although physically it pumps rhythmically and involuntarily for your body to function properly, emotionally you have a little more control over what goes in and what comes out.  Personally I can tell you I have felt the physical weight of carrying things around in my heart.  From a young age I built walls; like a city would to fortify and protect itself, I too have built walls of defense to contain or retain things in my life.  Walls that keep people at a distance.  Some of the walls in my heart are made of sticks and mud, easily washed away with the flood of tears, a kind word, or a simple glance.  Others are made of bricks, which take a little more effort to break down, like a friend discerning a struggle I am facing or a challenge to do something like make a public speech.  Then there are those walls that are buried 100 feet below the surface, armored guards surrounding the perimeters, barbed wire from top to bottom, reinforced steel 10 feet in width, alarms ready to resound, fire-proof, gun-proof, grenade-proof, nuke-proof…you get my point.  Those are the walls we seldom see reached in a lifetime.  BUT its not impossible with God, nothing is.

What causes people to build walls?

Fear? Insecurity? Anger? Bitterness? Resentment? Jealousy?

The list could continue…

In my marriage I thought I had let down all my fortified walls.  I thought we both were exposed by the time we reached the alter, but that wasn’t the case.  You see marriage tests you in more ways than you can imagine.  Even when you think you have reached a plateau, another mountain rises, a challenge for BOTH of you to climb…TOGETHER.  I realized that there were parts of my heart that I kept from my husband.  Embarrassment, guilt, shame, and insecurity locked those parts of my heart and I had forgotten about them, until situations in my marriage drew attention to them.  At first I was afraid to let my husband see a weak side to me.  I didn’t want to let my guard down.  LIES from the enemy!  When I was given the opportunity to let my husband KNOW me, those walls fell and I found healing and freedom!

I love this quote because I understand what the difference is between a wall and a bridge.  I’ve experienced the building of both.  Walls keep people out, while a bridge joins them together.  A bridge gives open access into another territory to explore.  Imagine a tangible bridge between your husband’s heart and yours.  Powerful!  Go and build a bridge with your husband, explore his heart and allow him to explore yours.  Communication and transparency are the tools, Jesus is the KEYstone!!!

*Keystone: A central stone at the summit of an arch, locking the whole together.  Something on which associated things depend for support.

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