How To Pray For Your Husband

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Oswald Chambers once said, “We tend to use prayer as a last resort, but God wants it to be our first line of defense. We pray when there’s nothing else we can do, but God wants us to pray before we do anything at all.” 

Oftentimes we pray in the midst of our despair, when we have exhausted all of our own wisdom and strength. When we don’t know what else to do, we finally humble ourselves and go to the One we hope will deliver us from the storm. But what would our marriages look like if we committed to a habit of prayer, surrendering to the Lord before any storm, listening to Him and letting Him lead us day in and day out, with our eyes set on Him? 

In its essence, prayer is talking to God. In the Old Testament, the Jews needed someone to intercede for them. They had a high priest for sacrifices and everything else that was required by the law. But now we have direct access through Jesus to our Father in heaven. So we can pray to God, speak to him directly, and hear him through his Holy Spirit in his word directly. Prayer is communing with God; communicating with Him. It’s connecting intimately and closely with Him.

Prayer is also sharing your heart with him. It’s an offering of yourself, to make yourself known to him. Our father in heaven, our heavenly Father, wants us to come to him with everything; our burdens, our joys, our fears.

Prayer is also a time where we can just be with him to be still to listen: to be quiet long enough to hear from him. 

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. This is a command for believers. He wants our hearts and our minds to be guarded, through the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding. We get that by praying in everything, and for everything. By lifting our requests and our supplications with thanksgiving. 

When it comes to wives praying for their husbands, it can be difficult to know where to begin at times. To start, be sure to lead your heart in prayer with humility, earnestness and belief in the things that you are going to God for. Take the thoughts and things you have in your head and move them to your heart, and then pray about them.

Here is a list of things to be praying over your husband: 

-Pray out loud and ask: “Can I pray for you, or is there anything I can be praying for you about?”

-Pray for him without ceasing. Throughout the day, be praying for your husband.

-Pray for his relationship with God.

-Pray for his confidence-his role as leader of the family, at work (Christ is in him and every opportunity to preach the Word)

-Pray for his job, and not simply just provision, but also that he would set an example for his coworkers and those around him.

-Pray for his health.

-Pray for his power of discernment, especially in distinguishing good from evil.

-Pray for his leadership.

Prayer is a powerful way to love your husband. When you are praying for your husband, you can believe and hope for things for him. Invite God into your marriage and ask him to shape and direct you and your husband.

For more ideas and inspiration to get you started, we have written several books on prayer, specifically giving prayers to help be a catalyst, and an easy way to start praying at shop.marriageaftergod.com

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Aaron Smith (00:59):

To some listeners who have recently joined our patron team. David E. Francis l. Aaron W. We’ve been hosting this podcast since 2018 and we’ve been sending our daily prayer email since 2015. Praise God that our listeners and subscribers grow every year, but naturally so does the cost. So we decided to invite our listeners to partner with us to help cover the expenses to provide these free res resources for free. If you’re interested in supporting this podcast and our daily prayer emails, please visit marriage after god.com/patron. Also, if you haven’t already, we’d like to invite you to get our free daily prayer email every day. All you got to do is visit marriage prayer challenge.com and sign up today.

Jennifer Smith (01:45):

So we hope you guys are having a really good week and end

Aaron Smith (01:48):

Month. Yeah, how’s your weekend? Well, it is like 75, 80 degrees. It’s everything we could ever hoped for spring moving into summer, so I’m pretty stoked about that.

Jennifer Smith (01:58):

Yeah, it feels good. I’m really excited because we’re wrapping up our last month of homeschool and we like to take a break in the summer. I know some people kind of trickle and go through summer, which is cool, and we’ve

Aaron Smith (02:09):

Done that in various ways in the

Jennifer Smith (02:11):

Past or sometimes start early. I’ll take a couple

Aaron Smith (02:13):

Seconds. So you’re going to be taking a legit break?

Jennifer Smith (02:16):

Yeah.

Aaron Smith (02:17):

We’re in homeschool so often we just end up homeschooling anyway and doing things right.

Jennifer Smith (02:22):

Yes. I do like to start in August with a couple of subjects, but we’re wrapping up this year’s homeschool journey, whatever it’s called soon. And this last month we’re going to be doing the Wildcraft study from Jodi Mabe, the

Aaron Smith (02:39):

Wildcraft study.

Jennifer Smith (02:40):

Wild. Yeah, we’re just watching wild crafts every day. It’s great. No Wildcraft. You guys should check it out. If you haven’t done it yet, it’s pretty awesome. And a group of us are going through it. So every Friday we’re meeting together to do some of the more hands-on projects. But what is

Aaron Smith (02:55):

Loving

Jennifer Smith (02:56):

It Craft? I don’t know what I didn’t tell you.

Aaron Smith (02:59):

Well, I’ve heard you guys talk about it. Oh, and I kind of piece together that it’s something that has to do with outdoors, but

Jennifer Smith (03:04):

Yeah, it’s like a wilderness survival, all things outdoors. Oh, guide for the kids. And so Jodi has put together,

Aaron Smith (03:13):

So they’re going to learn how to do fires and

Jennifer Smith (03:14):

Stuff. Exactly. She put together kind of like this five week program. She lifts all these books that you can read, YouTubes you can watch. Yeah, it’s just really cool. Really fun and lots of activities for the kids to do.

Aaron Smith (03:27):

So it’s stuff we’re going to do anyway. And then on top of it, you just add like learning a skill. We go on hike and like, oh, and here now we’re going to figure out how to make a shelter.

Jennifer Smith (03:36):

It’s way more intentional.

Aaron Smith (03:37):

Yeah, that’s cool.

Jennifer Smith (03:39):

Focused.

Aaron Smith (03:40):

So also we’ve been pretty heavy in landscaping our property.

Jennifer Smith (03:47):

Well, yeah, you’ve been working hard to get the grass back to

Aaron Smith (03:51):

The grasses needs some work. Well, the snow just sat out extra long and it, there’s a big portion of it that’s having a really hard time coming back. So I’m work, I’ve been working on that. We also got a bunch of rock. I’ve been trying to do everything ourselves and

Jennifer Smith (04:06):

For free. We got trees for

Aaron Smith (04:07):

Free. We found there was a guy on Facebook marketplace giving away three, five year old trees. They were clearing a lot. And I was like, sure, I’ll go get ’em. They were really heavy. They’re

Jennifer Smith (04:16):

So pretty,

Aaron Smith (04:17):

But they’re really pretty.

Jennifer Smith (04:18):

And they’re evergreen

Aaron Smith (04:19):

Ever. Yeah, there’s like a weeping one and then a blue spruce

Jennifer Smith (04:22):

Makes our front yard look better.

Aaron Smith (04:24):

So having a lot of fun doing that for the first time ever. Our own landscaping.

Jennifer Smith (04:28):

Well, not first time. Well,

Aaron Smith (04:30):

Th to this extent for sure. Yeah, there’s a lot more involved. That’s true.

Jennifer Smith (04:34):

We had help the first time

Aaron Smith (04:35):

Doing farms in the front yard and moving boulders around and yeah,

Jennifer Smith (04:38):

That’s

Aaron Smith (04:38):

True. But I’m really enjoying it. It’s making the property look like finished instead of just dirt everywhere. So that’s really nice. And also, one little last thing before we jump into this topic. If you’ve been following us for the last, since January, actually Jennifer and I have been doing Jiujitsu and we have four of our children currently doing Jiujitsu. Edie isn’t doing it yet, but she wants, just keeps saying, she’s like, I’m a white belt. You were, tell me. So she’ll probably start next year, but me and Elliot and Olive are competing in a competition.

Jennifer Smith (05:15):

You guys have been working really hard for

Aaron Smith (05:17):

That. They, we’ve, in order to do, you’re required to go at least four times a week for training, just for the month leading up to the competition, which has been really awesome because I can see the growth growth and the experience growing and my skill growing, but it’s also exhausting. I have, if you could see my bruises all over my body, but I’m having a lot of fun. And so if you all listening can be praying for me to this tournament that I do decent and that my kids do it and have fun, we’re really excited about it. And by the way, Truett and Wyatt and Ellie and Olive all have higher rank than me. So when we stand in lines at jujitsu, if we’re together, like anyone who’s a higher rank than you stands in front of you. So they

Jennifer Smith (06:04):

Like to tease you. Yeah.

Aaron Smith (06:06):

So I’m really proud of them though.

Jennifer Smith (06:08):

It’s funny. Yeah. I hope you guys do good this weekend. It’s going to be fun to watch, be spectator and the cheerleader. All right. Well today’s episode is really good about prayer and we wanted to talk to you guys about the importance of it, but specifically an encouragement of how to pray for your husband. So is this episode for the ladies today? Yeah, mostly. Mostly, yeah. But guys, stick around because there’ll be nuggets for you too to take away. Well,

Aaron Smith (06:41):

It’s all applicable both ways, but totally. We’re speaking specifically to the wife and the power that she has to pray for her husband and how to do that because we know there’s a lot of people that have questions about this. There’s a lot of people that search for this. And so we thought we can answer some of that and then the next episode we can talk about how to pray for your wife.

Jennifer Smith (07:01):

Yeah. So it’s what is prayer? Let’s start there. Right? Basic.

Aaron Smith (07:07):

Yeah. So in its essence, it’s talking to God and

Jennifer Smith (07:11):

Oh, real quick, obviously we know you guys know what prayer is, but from just listening to a podcast episode, being refreshed and being reminded and hearing these things hopefully will inspire you, encourage you and be a light to lead you.

Aaron Smith (07:28):

There may be some people that don’t really understand prayer, don’t really know what prayer is or feel uncomfortable with this idea. So yeah, maybe there’s probably a few of those out there that could be he hearing this for the first time. But we have some notes on here that point out this fact that prayer is a gift. It’s this where in the Old Testament you had the Israelites, the Jews needed, they needed someone to intercede for them. They had a high priest they had that would do sacrifices and do all these things. But now we have direct access through Jesus to our Father in heaven. So we can pray to God, we can talk to him directly. We can also hear him by his Holy Spirit in his word directly, which is a really awesome thing. And it’s a gift. So it’s communing with God, it’s communicating with God. It’s connecting intimately with God, closely with God.

Jennifer Smith (08:23):

When I tell the kids what prayer is, I always encourage them that it’s when you’re sharing your heart with him. So a big part of prayer is when you are sharing your heart with God and not taking the assumption that, well, he already knows, he already knows everything, so why do I need to tell him? It’s more of an offering of yourself to make yourself known to him. Does that make sense? Yeah.

Aaron Smith (08:47):

Well, we kind of brought this up a few episodes ago about how our kids, we can watch them, we can see them, we can know something that they’re and going through, but we don’t tell them, don’t tell me what you’re do, what’s happening. We want them to come to us and connect with us. And so that’s a good example for us to recognize that children, our father in heaven, our heavenly Father wants us to come to him with everything. Our burdens, our joys, our fears, all the things. So

Jennifer Smith (09:18):

The next one goes along that list, but it’s requests being able to request of him and trust and believe that he’s going to provide for you or step in and help in certain situations. There’s lots of things that we can request of him.

Aaron Smith (09:35):

Yeah. It’s also a time where we can just be with him to be still to listen. Jesus puts it this way that we go into our prayer closet, we go and get away to talk to God, to be alone with him, to be quiet long enough to hear from him.

Jennifer Smith (09:55):

Something I love of what prayer does for me is it makes me more aware for that day the things that I’m praying for or even the things I’m giving thanks for more conscious of it. And so as I go about my day, I’m recalling the things that I had already spent time in prayer

Aaron Smith (10:13):

The day brings it to the forefront so you can constantly throughout the day, recognizing it, seeing it. Yeah. So like you say, it makes you aware of that day. It all prayer allows him to shape us because we don’t pray to change God. Now we could ask God and we could in the middle of something that we’re going through that we know that God has us in, we can ask him to stop that or to change it or to redirect. But really what we want is our will to be changed, to desire what he wants. And also it’s very comforting

Jennifer Smith (10:50):

Prayer. Oh yeah.

Aaron Smith (10:52):

One note that it is not on here. It’s also very diffusing. There’s been plenty of times in conflict. Yeah, we or stress one of us or who we should be praying

Jennifer Smith (11:04):

Really anytime there’s a lack of peace when we go to God and we pray there’s comfort there.

Aaron Smith (11:13):

You mentioned it’s diffusing in stress also. And there’s been times when we’re in a stressful season, things that are decisions that need to be made, things coming up and it can feel very overwhelming. And it’s like I, oh, I can’t breathe. And then it’s like, well, let’s pray. And it brings us back down, which is,

Jennifer Smith (11:31):

It’s kind of like the practical of when it says that we can’t do things in our own strength. We have to go to God and rely on him. And prayer is the practical way of doing that, of saying, God, I can’t handle this. I can’t do it on my own. I need to. And there’s reliance there.

Aaron Smith (11:47):

That’s really good. It’s

Jennifer Smith (11:48):

Beautiful.

Aaron Smith (11:49):

So the next question, so that’s like what is prayer does want us to pray? You kind of mentioned, God doesn’t need me to pray He knows everything because that could be a thought that people have, that believers have. But does God want us to pray? Does he call us to pray? Philippians four, six through seven, A lot of you may know this verse that says, do not be anxious about anything. We just talked about that stress and anxiousness. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. So this is a command for believers because God wants us to be guarded. He wants our hearts and our minds to be guarded. But the way that that happens is by the peace of God which surpasses understanding. And the way we get that is by praying in everything and for everything lifting our requests, our supplications with thanksgiving.

Jennifer Smith (12:50):

That’s

Aaron Smith (12:50):

Good. We’re making them known to God. So if you go, you work backwards from that. God wants our hearts to be guarded in our minds in Christ. That happens by God’s peace and that comes by prayer and supplication in Thanksgiving, and that is God’s will for us. It says that in First Thessalonians five, 16 through 18, rejoice always pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. So for any of you out there who have ever been wondering what God’s will is for your life, this is one of them, is that you would rejoice, always pray without sis ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances says this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. What do you think of that?

Jennifer Smith (13:36):

I love it. And I, when I pray collectively do these things, I like rejoicing, thanking what can I thank God for today? And then go into requests and then wrap up again with thanks. Thank you. Thank you for all the opportunity, even the future opportunity that’s coming. So

Aaron Smith (13:56):

How have you seen prayer? So how have you seen prayer affect your life and our relationship?

Jennifer Smith (14:03):

Oh man, I just have seen this total reliance. I know I’ve already used that word, but reliance on God to help me, to sustain me, to know that there’s one who’s greater than me, desiring greater for me and that I can trust in him. And I don’t know how I would be able to get through life without that. I feel like prayer has been this anchor in my life where I always think I’m going to God. Okay, I have all these things, but then I go to him and it’s just this sigh of relief and I remember who he is and then I feel okay. And then he starts to change me regardless of what circumstances I wanted changing or in our marriage, things that I’m struggling with you, when I bring those things to him, it’s like Im immediately humbled. I can’t, you can’t pray and go to God and start complaining about you. He made you and he put us together. So I’m not going to go.

Aaron Smith (15:10):

We could.

Jennifer Smith (15:11):

So even though I have complaints at times in my head, the moment I go to prayer, it just, we already used the word diffuses, but it kind of does that in a way because you have to go to him in humility and I love that. So all the things that I even think I’m going to God for, I walk away going, oh wow, here’s a bunch of things about myself that I need to work on. And his Holy Spirit starts, like you said, shaping. He shapes us through prayer, especially if we’re listening, right? Cause sometimes we can probably be bad listeners. I, I’ve been a bad listener sometimes.

Aaron Smith (15:48):

I’m a very bad

Jennifer Smith (15:48):

Listener. But

Aaron Smith (15:49):

To you and God, I just, I need to get better at listening.

Jennifer Smith (15:53):

But if we allow his Holy Spirit to speak to us and we’re listening and we’re keeping in step with his spirit, he does shape us and he does change us. And I’ve recognized that prayer has this way of convicting me, convicting my heart about a way I’m being or of sin. And so in a way it’s revealing. I know we listed what prayer is earlier. I think we should add to the list. It’s revealing

Aaron Smith (16:24):

Because God reveals things to us. My spirit in the midst of it. I just had our weekly men’s Bible study meeting this morning and we talked a lot about listening to the Holy Spirit being more sensitive to Holy Spirit, not ignoring, not pushing away, but receiving from the Holy Spirit listening say that before the conviction for those things that God’s like, this is what I want to call out of you. This is what I want to change in you. This is what I want to cut out of you. I want this completely gone and just being better at listening. I was just thinking about that when you were talking about being a better listener to the Holy Spirit. For me, this is something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately over the last week or so, just realizing how important your prayers are for me, knowing that I have a friend and a partner who desires to help me spiritually realizing that I need them.

(17:26)
I need you to be on my spiritual team, that I know that you’re in my corner, that you are going to lift me up, that you are going to pray for me, that you are going to ask God to help me, to give me the courage I need, the strength I need the to whatever it is that you’re there for me loving in a way that you’re going to go to God. For me, I just have been thinking about it lately that I need your prayers and how much I need you to check in on me and ask me how I’m doing. And I’m saying all these things because we’re talking about how to pray for your husband. And so coming to the audience, coming to everyone that’s listening as a husband, knowing that how much I need you to check on me and ask me how I’m doing and ask me specifically, how can I pray for you, that tells me and shows me like, wow, you’re not just interested in me for me as your husband, but you’re also here to walk with me as a believer and to lead me to God and to help me with that, with my relationship with God, with my relationship with you, with my relationship with my kids, really is a blessing.

(18:43)
And it’s super important.

Jennifer Smith (18:45):

You used the phrase check in on you. What does that look like practically? Because some people might be listening thinking, what are they talking about? Or how do you do that? When do you want me to do that? You know what I mean, in the car driving somewhere? Or do you want it to be more intimate or I

Aaron Smith (19:02):

Would say whatever, when having it on the forefront of your mind means it’s not just, we brought up in the beginning, not just when there’s a storm, not just when it seems like, oh, things seem off. That’s a good time to do it. But just

Jennifer Smith (19:18):

On the

Aaron Smith (19:19):

Regular whenever, like, Hey, how you doing today? Are you praying? Are you in the word? How can I encourage you today? How can I pray for you today? Imagine what that would do for you. You’re just talking about how when you pray, how it changes you. If we had that mindset, if you had that mindset for me, not only would it help me, maybe, I mean, I get distracted a lot just with life. Sometimes I get overwhelmed. I may not ever show it, but it might be deep down inside of me there maybe keeping me from praying maybe. Maybe I feel distant from God, I haven’t said anything about it. And you reaching out, it brings that to the forefront of my mind. Oh, my wife cares about that with me. Oh, actually, yeah, I could use some prayer for this. I’m a little stressed out about this. Or I have this relationship that’s a little hard right now. Or I have all this stuff on my mind that I don’t know what to do. So anytime before bed, when we wake up, when we’re just in the car driving, knowing that you’re thinking about that with me, and for me, love is really, really powerful.

Jennifer Smith (20:26):

I love the layer of accountability that it provides because it’s like, I mean, I ask you once and you’re like, okay, do say wherever you’re at with it. Yeah. If I ask you again, then you start to know that it’s coming, right? Yeah, exactly. The next time she asks me, I want to make sure that I’m,

Aaron Smith (20:42):

Well, speaking of accountability, that’s another you were talking about when and how one of those more intimate moments is you. You know what tempts me? I, there’s things in my past that I’ve struggled with that you can be aware of that hey, no one’s immune to temptation. No one’s immune to the enemy in tactics, and we all have flesh. But if you’re, it’s on your mind and heart, you can say, Hey, how are you doing with these things? How have you felt lately? Have you felt tempted? Have you felt weak? Have you felt like you need strength and you need reminding and you need encouragement and you need accountability? Like you said, bringing those up and making that something that is commonplace, first of all, does make it much harder for me to fall into those sorts of things because I’m, it’s going to constantly be in the front of my mind, but also you’re spiritually going to be helping me, reminding me of the truth, praying for me.

(21:40)
So I don’t know what everyone that’s listening deals with, but usually the wife do does know they Do you guys know everything? You guys know a lot? No, not everything, but speaking of the men for, there’s a lot that there’s a lot of things that land on our shoulders. Not that we’re the only ones that are supposed to bear it, but they’re there. Nonetheless. We have lots of things we taking care of our family spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally. Also making sure that you as my wife feel loved and are cherished and known that you’re a priority to me. That each of my children know my love and affection that which that feels really hard at times to make sure that each one of them know be beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I give them the attention, the time that I’m being an example to all my friends, our children, and for me personally, that I’m walking in integrity and faith and love, patience, my focus, my heart all around. I just need a lot of prayer.

Jennifer Smith (22:45):

We all do. I

Aaron Smith (22:46):

Know

Jennifer Smith (22:49):

Those are, that’s good though. I think it’s good to hear why you need prayer.

Aaron Smith (22:55):

Yeah,

Jennifer Smith (22:56):

That’s good.

Aaron Smith (22:59):

And I think generally probably men don’t ask for help as very often. I’m sure there’s some out there that are different, but just generally, I think we might internalize a lot of things or sweep things under the rug, sort of just like, oh, I’m not going to deal with that emotionally or mentally right now. I’m going to check it out. What’s the idea of waffles and spaghetti? A woman’s like everything touches and all the emotions and everything, but I have everything in compartments. This, there’s that. And I feel like prayer is one of those things that can break through those compartments and bring things to the service. And so doing that check-in it, I think it breaks some of those barriers that we don’t know we have. That’s

Jennifer Smith (23:48):

Good. That’s good. I loved hearing about what things you need prayer for because or why you need prayer constantly and me checking in on you and keeping you accountable because I think I forget how much you’re actually caring because those things aren’t shared as openly. Or you’re gone throughout the day and you’re working and I don’t know, I have my own things in front of me that I’m working on or concerns that I’m carrying. So to be able to hear it is good.

Aaron Smith (24:22):

Yeah. Well, and women are often more vocal emotionally like, Hey, I’m feeling this way. I’m dealing with these things. These are things that are in my heart. These are things

Jennifer Smith (24:32):

That are my mind. I easy to get it out

Aaron Smith (24:35):

Again. I don’t know every guy, but I think the majority of guys that I know, we don’t operate that way.

Jennifer Smith (24:41):

Why do you think that is?

Aaron Smith (24:43):

I mean, it’s the way God made men and women. There’s very different, but it’s also why God has, we’re new creations. We’re not just meant to walk as the creatures that we once were. We’re to be new creatures that have new ways of being. And I think these gifts, these things that God’s given us, these tools are meant to make connections where connections used to not exist because of the way we are as men and women. So that connection of how can I pray for you, that’s not a connection of just me and you. That’s a, Hey, how can I help you connect to God?

Jennifer Smith (25:22):

Yeah. It’s a drawing close to him.

Aaron Smith (25:24):

And so there’s that third party that breaks down those invisible walls that we may not intentionally put there. We do. But prayer can do that. And maybe it doesn’t do it the first time. Hey, how can I pray for you? No, I’m good. But when you do it a hundred times, at some point your husband’s going to be like, you always want to pray for me. Do you think something’s wrong? No, I just want to know what’s in your heart. Well, yeah, I’m stressed. I’m stressed at work, and I’d love some prayer for that. I think it does. It just slowly erodes the rocky, stony heart or the compartments that we hide things in because we don’t know how to deal with ’em all at the same time

Jennifer Smith (26:12):

That I really quotes and just you

Aaron Smith (26:15):

Quotes

Jennifer Smith (26:16):

Little gems things that you can just remember and have an impact. And I just like the way people put certain words together, like little truth bombs.

Aaron Smith (26:28):

That’s the author in

Jennifer Smith (26:30):

You, that’s the author in. But these are really good, especially in light of marriage, and they’re by Corey 10, boom. And the first one says, any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden

Aaron Smith (26:44):

That’s really convicting because we have something that we think is a burden and then we don’t pray about it.

Jennifer Smith (26:51):

Yeah. What’s up with that?

Aaron Smith (26:52):

Yeah. It’s like, well, is it really a

Jennifer Smith (26:54):

Burden? Well, especially in Embarra, where am

Aaron Smith (26:55):

I going? To the Lord with us? Yeah.

Jennifer Smith (26:56):

I get frustrated with you about something and it’s like sitting with me. You

Aaron Smith (27:00):

Never get frustrated

Jennifer Smith (27:01):

With me stirring in my mind, but I don’t bring it to God in prayer until you ask me, have you prayed about that yet? And I’m like, you’re like, no. So any concern, too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden. Stop carrying those burdens or pray about them. The next one is prayer. Your steering wheel or your spare tire. It probably doesn’t need an explanation, but I’m just going to give it anyways. Basically. Are you driving with prayer every single day guiding you and getting through everything that way? Or is it more like, oh no, I hit a pothole.

Aaron Smith (27:42):

Letty on that

Jennifer Smith (27:43):

Suck. Yeah,

Aaron Smith (27:44):

So that’s a good quote. I like Corey tempo.

Jennifer Smith (27:46):

Yeah. I just felt like those would be really good little gems to share quotes. You like them? Yep. Okay. Well, since our whole message today is encouraging you to pray and pray often regularly and specifically for your husband, not just when you need help, but an everyday like God direct me and shape him and help us. That’s what I wanted to share. Yeah.

Aaron Smith (28:13):

So we’re going to share a list of things to pray for your husband. We kind of came up with this together, but the reason we came up with this list and these types of things is there’s something really cool that when husband, when I hear these things out loud that you’re asking God to help me with or for the wife he help him with in these areas, it immediately puts our hearts and minds on God to think about those things like we were talking about earlier. So it draws these things to the forefront of my mind, of your husband’s mind, to put our minds on the right things.

Jennifer Smith (28:51):

So you’re saying specifically when I choose to invite you to pray and I pray out loud over you, and

Aaron Smith (28:59):

I hear so not only do I hear you praying to God on my behalf, but I also hear the things that you’re praying about. And so it puts those things in my heart and in front of my eyes into my mind. So we’re going to talk about some of those things. So how to pray. Why don’t you share with some of these ideas of how to pray?

Jennifer Smith (29:17):

Yeah. Well, you had just men mentioned praying out loud. So inviting your husband like, Hey, can I pray for you? Is there anything I can pray for you? And doing that with him? And you can do that anytime, any time of the day. We tend to pray a lot at night, sometimes in the morning, but mostly at night. We do

Aaron Smith (29:36):

It with our kids in the car.

Jennifer Smith (29:37):

Yeah, we do it, but I mean for each other. And then randomly throughout the day, we’ll pray for each other if we need it. But the times that I pray over you and you over me is usually at night. But you can also pray just in the stillness of your heart, not out loud, not over your husband. Just be praying for him constantly without ceasing. Take all those thoughts and things you have up in your head and move them to your heart and then pray about them,

Aaron Smith (30:09):

Which sometimes also peripherally organizes all those thoughts Totally. And gets rid of the ones that need to be gone and puts in new ones if they need to be added.

Jennifer Smith (30:16):

And totally, I would say leading your heart in prayer with humility and earnestness and belief in the things that you are going to God for.

Aaron Smith (30:29):

Yeah, I think about when it says, love believes all things and hopes all things. So in prayer, you can believe things for your husband. You can hope things for your husband,

Jennifer Smith (30:40):

Therefore, you’ll be loving your husband, which

Aaron Smith (30:42):

Is loving.

Jennifer Smith (30:43):

So when to pray, I just always just offer to pray over him before he goes to work or before he has an event that he’s participating in or before church, or if he’s going to be serving in some manner during the week just before

Aaron Smith (31:00):

Bed.

Jennifer Smith (31:01):

Yeah, all the time.

Aaron Smith (31:02):

Oh wait, well that pray without ceasing, just having a heart of how can I be praying for you? So now we’re going to go into a not complete list of course, but what to pray. And here’s some things that we want to encourage you to be praying for your husband over your husband. The first one is his relationship with God. Like I was mentioning before, all of these stresses, anxieties, the weights of the world and the things that just naturally are on my shoulders, responsibility as a husband, as a father, as a friend, there’s a lot of distraction. So I could always use prayer about my relationship with God that pray that his faith would grow and that his desire for God’s word would grow. Pray that He would grow in his knowledge and understanding of God’s word. Pray that he would experience God in new and new and powerful ways. Pray that he would know how much God loves him. That’s good because sometimes we forget, pray that he would allow God to use him in the lives of those around him. So pray for his relationship with God.

Jennifer Smith (32:13):

Another one is pray for his confidence that he would have confidence in how he leads his home and his family and his wife. Pray for his confidence in the roles that he plays in at work and the relationships that he has outside the home, friendships. And if he works with anyone in ministry or just strangers, anybody, just having the confidence of that Christ is in him. And every opportunity is an opportunity to preach the word.

Aaron Smith (32:53):

Pray for his job. This is a big one. I mean, we all need jobs. We all need to work. Pray that He’s a good example to his coworkers because his job’s not just a job that pays the bills. His job is a place of ministry. His job is a place of influence. God has him in that job because he doesn’t have me in that job. He has him there. So pray that the example that his lights, that he shows off that he’s season of assault and is speaking, and that he, he’s an example to his coworkers. Also pray that he works hard as under the Lord. So the Bible says, it says, work as under the Lord. Do all things as we’re doing for him,

Jennifer Smith (33:36):

And whether he got the dream job or it’s just one to get by.

Aaron Smith (33:40):

And those sorts of at that sort of attitude for your husband to have if you’re paying for him and as he’s growing in that is hugely beneficial for his job. Something that gets him noticed. That’s something that stands out because not everyone acts that way. Not everyone works as they’re working toge for God. And lastly for this is that he desires to grow in his position and skill so that he has a passion for his role, whether that’s his job forever or not. This which is attached to this idea of doing everything into the Lord. I think we can have a passion for the work we’re doing. We can have an excitement about it. We can have a joy in that labor. It

Jennifer Smith (34:17):

Also will add to the tool belt. We’ve talked about that in marriage after God, adding to the tool belt of what all the talents and resources and things that you have that God will use over time.

Aaron Smith (34:28):

You never know what those skill sets, that growth, that knowledge, that experience, and how it’s going to be used by God later on, either in the same job or in something else altogether.

Jennifer Smith (34:41):

Another way you can pray for him is for his health, that he would be concerned about his health in a good, healthy way, just being mindful of his body and how to take care of it.

Aaron Smith (34:52):

And also just in a general way of just protecting him, his health in it and from sickness and those sorts of things. We’re all going to get sick, but it’s good to pray about it anyway, like we’re told to pray about everything. So his discernment, praying for his discernment, Hebrews five 14 says that he would have this powers of discernment would be trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. So praying that your husband’s discernment will be trained, that he will train it, that he’ll work on it, that his powers of discernment would be trained so that he can through constant practice, so that he can distinguish good from evil. Because that discernment is going to bless your family, it’s going to bless his church, it’s going to bless his work that he can distinguish between good and evil. He can distinguish between this is of God and this is a good thing and this is a bad thing.

(35:49)
And so that discernment can be trained and grow. And you should be praying for that, that he would grow in his ability to discern God’s will for his life and his family’s life. Doesn’t every wife want their husband to have this ability to say, Hey, I believe this is the direction God wants us to go as a family. And then also to have heavenly discernment in his relationships. So to be able to discern when he needs to speak up to someone, when he needs to share truth with someone, when he needs to rebuke someone, when he needs to hold someone and love someone and forgive someone and invite someone in. So pray for his discernment.

Jennifer Smith (36:28):

You can pray for his friendships, those guy relationships that he’s close to. Or if he doesn’t have any and desires that you could be praying for those relationships that he would have them and find them. You can be praying that he would be looked to, looked up to as a leader amongst his friends, that he would be a good and faithful friend who speaks truth in love and is always reminding his friends of the truth.

Aaron Smith (36:56):

You can be praying for his time. This is a big one. We don’t have any more of it. We only have what we have, that he would use it his time wisely, that he would see his time as valuable and important, that he would use his time for his family, that he would use his time to serve and bless his church and friends instead of just wasting it. So be pre prayerful about how he views the time he has.

Jennifer Smith (37:23):

And then lastly, well not end of the final list, but of our

Aaron Smith (37:27):

List

Jennifer Smith (37:28):

End, end of what we’re sharing with you here today. His leadership, just overall that he would see himself as a spiritual leader in his home, in his friendships, in church, at work, wherever he goes, that he would grow in his leadership skills and abilities that he would desire to grow in the qualifications given in first Timothy for an elder in the church, whether or not he ever becomes one that he would desire to grow in those qualifications. And just that his character would continue to grow and his wisdom and just his overall, oh, I already mentioned. But skill,

Aaron Smith (38:06):

Whether or not someone ever becomes an elder in a church or a dea or a deacon or some sort of, I mean, other words that is used for, this is overseer, but some sort of leadership in church. The qualifications every man should desire. So if you want to those, the listen when you want, go take some time and read First Timothy and see what that is, and be praying for those things for your husband as a leader, that he would desire those qualities.

Jennifer Smith (38:32):

So that kind of sums up the list that we really wanted to share with you guys today. And hopefully it sparks some ideas and gives you something to look forward to the next time you’re with your spouse that you would choose to invite them into prayer and pray. Start practicing this, pray for them. Yeah, start practicing it. We do want you to know that we understand that for some of you, prayer feels really hard to do uncomfortable, and you just maybe don’t know where to start. And so we get it. I think everybody has to start somewhere. So yeah, I hope that for you specifically, we gave you enough encouragement to spur you on to try.

Aaron Smith (39:13):

And if you’re interested, we actually, Jennifer and I have written several books on prayer, specifically giving prayers to help be a catalyst, an easy way to start praying

Jennifer Smith (39:25):

And to build that habit

Aaron Smith (39:26):

And to build the habit, doing it regularly. So if you are interested in that, you can go check those out. You can go to shop dot marriage after god.com, you can go to Amazon and you can even go to Hobby Lobby and get them. But we have 31 prayers for my husband, 31 prayers for my wife, and we have very various other books on prayer for children. And so

Jennifer Smith (39:46):

They’re a great way to start out because they also include journal lines to make it more personal. Absolutely. So you can start with the prayer and then add to it,

Aaron Smith (39:53):

But you don’t need them to start. But if you would like them, you can’t. They’re there for you. So this month we’re focusing, we have a growth spurt, and we’re focusing on warming up from winter with a workout. Whoa.

Jennifer Smith (40:07):

Whoa. What

Aaron Smith (40:08):

Workout? Warm up winter. So just going for a walk, a run, lifting some weights, going to the gym maybe. Have you been wanting to,

Jennifer Smith (40:18):

The day before Mother’s Day, we took the kids out on a family bike ride, and we just had this window where there was like, we were flexible with time and the sun was out and bikes were racked and it was ready to go. And we do these trails down by our house that are all paved and easier for the kids. But because there was no time constraints, we just took it easy and

Aaron Smith (40:42):

Kept going.

Jennifer Smith (40:43):

We looked at stuff, birds, it was just perfect. It was breezy. Yeah.

Aaron Smith (40:48):

Bike

Jennifer Smith (40:48):

Red. Perfect. It’s

Aaron Smith (40:50):

A good one because it’s a workout and I think most people like riding bikes. Yeah,

Jennifer Smith (40:54):

It’s just

Aaron Smith (40:54):

Enjoyable. Not a lot of people like running. Some people do, but bike riding.

Jennifer Smith (41:00):

Super. Awesome.

Aaron Smith (41:02):

All right. Why don’t you pray for us?

Jennifer Smith (41:03):

Dear Lord, thank you for our marriage. Thank you for the special relationship we get to experience and cultivate. We pray we would be intentional in how we love each other. We pray we’d be courageous and bold in praying for one another. We pray we would feel inspired to pray all throughout the day for each other. In moments we feel great need or when we feel frustrated in marriage, please remind us and lead us to pray for our relationship. Thank you for the gift of prayer. We pray we would honor you by praying for each other every day. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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