If you have been blessed by this show and would like to join the marriage after god podcast patron team, please visit marriageaftergod.com/patron — Is the word love and how we use it….diluted? The definition of the word love as we use it today does generally cover a variety of connotations; from intense feelings of deep affection, to great interest or pleasure. The problem with this definition of love is when those chemicals subside, and those feelings in the body or the flesh become harder to come by, what are we left with? Love in marriage is not just saying the words “I love you.” Nor is it simply a feeling or rush of dopamine, lost after just a moment. It is something much more powerful and promising. Love in marriage is a verb, an action. It is what you do that sends the true message of love to your spouse. But what happens in marriage when you or your spouse say those words, yet your actions are unloving? What happens when you don’t “feel” so in love, like you might have in the past? This is why an accurate understanding of what love really means is essential. Even when no words are said, or no feelings are present, you can choose to love your spouse, and love them regardless of what they choose to do or not do, all by how you choose to treat and serve them. The greatest example of this is Christ and his love for the church. Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, Christ’s love is sacrificial, and not contingent upon anything the church did or can do for Him. His sacrifice, giving His life up for his bride, shows us that true love is active and unconditional. Furthermore, our calling and ability to act in love is not and should not be determined by our spouse’s actions. Marriage is not a transactional relationship. It is not about fairness, or doing something once the other person has checked off all the boxes. You can act in love toward your spouse, regardless of whether they have earned it, or deserve it, because our obedience is not contingent on the actions of others. Marriage is not about “give and take.” We don’t “take” in marriage. Christ never came to take. He served, He gave everything in love. And He is our example for how we are to love. We should strive to always give more than we take. Be the one who shows your love in action, just as you would want your spouse to do for you, regardless of their own actions. If the goal in marriage is fairness, this way of saying, “You get this, and I get that,” and always looking for the next moment when we get what we want, we will never be satisfied. We will be more easily offended when things don’t pan out evenly, and jealousy will creep in. We will start to become each other’s judges – what can be, what shouldn’t be, what’s equal. Instead, let us revolutionize our marriages and love our spouse the way Christ loves us. Without condition, without expectation of return, yet with the hopeful expectation of a reward from above. John 15:12-13 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. We dilute the powerful meaning when we only say “I love you,” but there is no proof in action. We can revive the meaning of the word love and what it means in marriage by being doers of love. Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
Marriage After God Podcast - Christian Marriage Podcast
Serving is a powerful antidote to many marriage issues. It builds unity as you work as a team. It provides perspective when you pour into others’ lives. It gives opportunity to utilize your unique gifts and talents together. And most importantly, it allows you to follow Jesus’ example and model servant leadership in the way He perfectly lived it out.