My first year of marriage taught me two things about intimacy.
1.)Intimacy is not just about sex.
Intimacy is about growing closer together as a married couple. Intimacy is about becoming known by offering your heart to your spouse, while getting to know your spouse. Intimacy could happen while having a conversation, doing an activity or hobby together, serving together, sitting with one another, playing a game or anything else that allows a married couple the opportunity to get to know each other better. Sex is important and it is a great way to experience intimacy, but don’t forget about all the other ways too!
2.) Being transparent is one of the best ways to cultivate intimacy in marriage.
I did not know how to be transparent as a wife. I loved my husband and I shared important things with him, but I didn’t know how to let him into the deep places of my heart. Those places I hid from everyone in fear of rejection and judgement. A few years of marriage refined me in the art of transparency. My husband’s bravery to be sincere with me and to share things about him no one has ever known, let me get to know the real him. His bravery inspired my heart to be brave. I had to learn how to be transparent. I had to learn how to talk to my husband and how to offer my whole heart to him. The more I opened up, the more understanding I gained.
The fear dissipates. The love grows.
If I can encourage you at all today, my hope is to encourage you to be willing to be brave and share your whole heart with your husband. Tell him something he doesn’t know. Let him get to know the real you. Your transparency through conversation will most likely lead to intimacy.