Expectations Of A New Year And A New Marriage


With the start of a new year comes many expectations as we set out to make this year our best.  Resolutions lead us into dreams of better and brighter days.

Some of you may have set some expectations for your marriage.  You saw the beginning of a new year as an opportunity to start fresh and experience the marriage you have pictured perfect in your mind.

However, I urge you to tread gracefully.

A wife recently shared in our Wife After God Online Study event that she had set “some pretty high (and ridiculous) expectations of a new day/new year…somehow waking up to a new relationship.”

Be careful.  Unmet expectations can lead to disappointment that can hinder intimacy in marriage.  I know because I have experienced it in my own marriage.  There is nothing wrong with having faith that our marriages can be all that God created them to be, but we must have grace and patience, because our husbands are a part of marriage as well and it may take time for us and them to understand our roles and how to fulfill them as God intended us to.

Sometimes we can set ridiculous expectations for the new year for our marriages.  Perhaps you woke up January 1st eager to start fresh in your marriage only to be confronted with the truth that nothing changed overnight.  Or maybe as the days have passed you have met resistance more intensely than you have ever before.  I urge you to remain faithful!  Pray for your marriage and invite God to help you and your husband understand your roles in marriage and how to fulfill them.

The wife who shared about her high expectations for the new year and having a new marriage also shared, “I was reminded quickly this morning that my marriage is in God’s hands…that my husband is in God’s hands…that I’m where I need to be with this devotional and that all I need to do is give it to God – trusting Him to do the deep work in our hearts.”

We should be faithful in believing our marriage can be transformed, but we must recognize it will only get there as we place our trust in God.  Let us all persevere through resistance as we faithfully and intentionally set out to experience the marriage we so desire!

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