Throughout our marriage my husband has noticed a trend in my behavior. Maybe you can relate? I smile, laugh and engage with friends and family, only to jump into the car or leave with my husband and exhale how I really feel. My face scrunches up, my attitude turns cold, I sometimes snap at my husband with stern words or slump down with defeat.
My entire countenance changes dramatically and my husband is left to wonder what is happening to his wife.
My thought process in justifying why its ok to do this is along the lines of knowing my husband is not going anywhere, so its ok. But my husband sees it and wonders why everyone else gets the best version of me and he doesn’t.
My husband kindly expressed how he felt about me giving my best to others, mentioning that he wants me to be real and honest with him, but he would also love to be around the version of me that is kind, compassionate, joyful, and all the other ways I engage with others.
I don’t know why the tendency to do this is in my heart. Perhaps it is a desire for approval, acceptance or perception. But I want to consider all that my husband shared with me around this situation and how I can be a wife that gives her husband her best. And what I have noticed, is when I give my husband my best, he lights up and our engagement is intimate and enjoyable.
Do you relate?
Do you give your husband your best or do you reserve it for others?
In the guest article I share on For The Family about this topic I leave a challenge at the end that I want to extend to you: Evaluate if you give your spouse your best or if you rely on the commitment of marriage as a safety net to let loose so much that you have no regard for your spouse’s feelings at all. I believe this is important to address and I know I am not the only one who has struggled with it