Do You Confront Your Husband When He Embarrasses You?


I am married to King David. Theoretically speaking, of course. Maybe you’ve heard people at church talk about having a “David Heart.” Yep. I married that guy.

I find the historic King David to be fascinating. David has a reputation of being an old testament man with a new testament heart. He is known for his grace, patience, justice and sensitivity. He is known for the way in which he worshiped God. He loved the Lord with an uninhibited heart so much that his behavior was even called undignified, by his own wife.

But David was something else very important. He was a warrior. He was known for his many victorious battles. And his many internal battles. He was a sinner. The man had struggles. But what was most important about his struggles and his sins was that he repented of them – time and time again. His repentive heart did not go unnoticed by God and because of that, he was greatly favored.

But, it ain’t easy being married to King David.

In fact – I found myself able to relate to David’s wife, Michal, when she saw him worshipping before the Lord as the men brought the Ark back to the City of David (2 Samuel 6). Scripture tells us that he was celebrating and dancing before the ark wearing an ephod – a religious linen.  There is debate on whether or not he was wearing much else, but in any event, his actions embarrassed his wife, Michal, who was watching from her window.

But as the Ark of the Lord entered the City of David, Michal, the daughter of Saul, looked down from her window. When she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she was filled with contempt for him. (2 Samuel 6:16)

Like most wives, she’s not afraid to confront him:

When David returned home to bless his own family, Michal, the daughter of Saul, came out to meet him. She said in disgust, “How distinguished the king of Israel looked today, shamelessly exposing himself to the servant girls like any vulgar person might do!” (2 Samuel 6:20)

Have your husband’s actions ever embarrassed you? Have you ever confronted him on your concerns or felt compelled to do so?

Be honest…

But David – a man after God’s own heart – responded:

“Yes, and I am willing to look even more undignified than this, even to be humiliated in my own eyes!” (2 Samuel 6:22)

I must admit I have been guilty of getting angry and haughtily confronting my husband as I became embarrassed as to what the world may think about his actions. But I love, and am convicted by David’s response – he knows God has called him, he knows God is not offended and he knows he is worshipping God in a way that is different than what others have witnessed before. He may not understand God’s plan for his life – but he’s trusting the Spirit of God. Something, that if I’m being honest, I have a problem with at times.

Until I came to the recent revelation that God blessed my husband with a David heart – I had a hard time understanding his struggles. Let’s face reality ladies – our husbands are sinners. They are not perfect. But God gave each of our men a unique heart and then he matched ours to it.  He made a pair. I think that sometimes, we expect our husbands to be perfect and offer little grace and/or compassion when they fail. What would life look like if God treated us the way we treat our spouses?

Thankfully, God made us each a promise – that He would never leave us or forsake us. He promised that He is in control of our future as long as we relinquish control to Him. And even better, He promised that our future was bright and safe.

And – sometimes, as a wife, I have to not only trust God’s plan for our life but also my husband’s heart for our future. I’ve got to let him lead. Even if it looks strange or foreign to me. It’s his calling – it’s what his heart is made of. The warrior in him desires a woman to lead and a family to protect. Instead of worrying about what the world thinks of that, I just have to trust God’s plan. Like Michal, this isn’t always easy for me. But I’m thankful for this biblical example of marital conflict and eventual reconciliation.

Maybe you’re married to a David heart. Or maybe Peter. Or John. Paul or Stephen. Moses or Abraham. Whatever heart your husband has, remember to be blessed by it. Remember that God paired your heart with your husband’s and made a perfect match. Strive to show compassion and forgiveness for his faults, like Christ does for us. Marriage isn’t always easy, even when you’re married to God’s favored warrior – but it is God-breathed. Love your God, love your man and remember that the two of you are a match made in heaven.

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