A Bickering Duet

Although this is titled A Bickering Duet, I am sure you would agree that the bickering between a husband and wife is not as pleasant to listen to as a song. I hate bickering!  It not only makes me cringe when other couples bicker, but the annoyance that stirs from my husband and I bickering is just as awful.  What gets to me the most is that bickering is usually over something so minimal, its nothing at all!  So why do we still bicker???

Just a few days ago my husband and I were driving down the road with a friend of ours riding shot gun.  Instead of listening to the radio my husband shares an idea he had regarding our photography business.  I responded kindly, but I guess I didn’t respond with as much excitement as my husband was expecting.  Within seconds our voices escalated and the bickering banter began.  Realizing our friend was now a victim of our bickering we eased our way out of it… sometimes it doesn’t end so easily.

Last night our frustrations got the best of us as we bickered for almost an hour.  We tried desperately to walk each other through each offense and prove that the other person was to blame.  Deep down I know we didn’t want to argue, but it was definitely  a challenge for both of us to drop.

My husband and I don’t fight all that much, but we do stumble upon situations where we snap at each other, using our words with a force fueled by selfishness and stubbornness.  Sometimes we bicker so much that it becomes a habit of how we communicate to each other.  It takes quite a bit of self-control and perspective to first recognize that we are bickering and second to try and stop its in its tracks.

So why do people bicker?

I asked a group of wives this question and below you will find a few of their answers…

-People responding out of frustration

-People losing politeness

-Residual effect of anguish or bitterness


-A byproduct of exhaustion

-Miscommunication or misunderstanding


Do you and your husband bicker?

What would you say the root cause is?

What can we, as wives, do to try and halt bickering in our marriages?

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