How many words to do you speak to your husband each day?
Quite a few.
How can you be sure that you’re communicating the most important thoughts and feelings?
First and foremost, by giving him the same love and grace that God gives us. There are also a few things that he needs to hear on a regular basis. Here are 6 Phrases your husband needs to hear from you:
1. “I love you.” I know this is a simple (and obvious one), but sometimes we forget! There’s really no limit to how many times you can say these three simple words to your husband. Shoot him a text, whisper it in his ear, write him a note…get creative with how you tell him you love him.
2. “I respect you.” It’s easy to fall into the pattern of condescending thoughts. Thoughts like: Wow, I can’t believe he thinks that. He’s so dumb. He’s driving me crazy trying to fix that. I wish I could just do it myself. If only he’d do _____. Instead, respect your husband for who he is. Support him. Encourage him. Work towards having an even more respectful heart. If our hearts are working toward respect, our mouths will follow, because “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). Meditate on this truth and treat him with respect.
3. “I need you.” I’m a very independent person, and sometimes it’s tempting to try to do everything myself. But my husband and I are to walk through this life supporting each other. It’s hard for him to support me if I resist it. Show your husband that you really do need him. Let him support you, and be sure to return the favor when he needs it!
4. “I appreciate you.” This one isn’t as obvious as the others. Sometimes we get so caught up in the busyness of day-to-day life, that we forget to slow down and really appreciate each other. Keep a list of things you appreciate about your husband, and TELL him!
5. “I’m proud of you.” You may think your husband already knows that you’re proud of him, but don’t assume. It’s always surprising to me how much his eyes light up when I tell him I’m proud of him. He works so hard at school, work, around the house, and at making me feel loved. Sometimes it probably seems like thankless work, but we have the opportunity to make it more worth it.
6. “I think you’re sexy.” Your words are the most important to your husband, so build him up. Compliment his hair, tell him how handsome he is, how wonderful his muscles are, how lucky you are to be married to him. Initiate intimacy, and give him a surprise make-out session when you get the chance.
This might seem like an overwhelming list to communicate daily, but over time your priorities become more of a habit. The key to all six of these is that they all use your words to build him up, rather than tearing him down. That’s the most important part.