I want to introduce my friend Kate from One Flesh Marriage! In this article she shares 3 ways to support your husband! If you have a few ways you can add, be sure to leave a comment to encourage other wives!
It is so easy to go about our day, consumed by all we have to do, to accomplish and completely miss ways to be an amazing helper to our husbands. As a stay at home mom, homeschooling mom, part time portrait photographer and marriage blogger I can easily get stuck in my own day.
I know you all have list of the different hats you wear during your day. The things that “scream” the loudest (sometimes literally if you know what I mean) get our attention. Yet we have an amazing opportunity to serve and love on our husbands every day, simply by go to bat for them in simple ways.
If you struggle like me with all the day throws at you, leaving very little thought to your amazing husband, then look for ways you can support your hubby in these three areas:
1. Kids and or Job
A woman’s work is never done. Whether you are home with your kids, working full time or a little of both, we can show our husband daily that he comes before both kids and work.
When he comes home from work, we can give the kids a snack and give them something to distract them, so that we can ask our husband how his day was. Let him downshift and regroup a bit before shifting gears to amazing husband and dad.
If you work daily, then seek to meet your hubby half-way with all the things you need to do at home at the end of the day. Know that both of you are emotionally tired. There will be days you will need your husband to go to bat for you, I know I do! Yet, having this mindset will show your husband through words and actions that you appreciate and respect him. That is huge for husbands.
I am an introvert by God’s design and therefore I deeply value my handful of close friends. When we get together, we can chat, share, laugh and simply soak up Jesus together for hours. My hubby knows this time is deeply important for me and encourages me to make time for my friends.
I on the other hand try to make sure I am not giving my friends more time than I am giving to my husband. I say this because there were times in the beginning of our marriage, where I did not do that and didn’t realize how I was hurting this man whom I had chosen to spend my life with.
In addition, I make sure the friends that I share my deepest self with are marriage positive and also value their time with their husband. Ever since I changed my “friends” mindset, my hubby protects and values my time with my dear friends. Amazing how that works. Protect your time with him and he will protect the time you need with others.
An interesting and many times complicated dynamic occurs when we marry, merging two families and yet separating ourselves from our family of origin. We vow to be a family with our husband. That is where our love, respect and support goes first.
Supporting your husband with family, can mean setting boundaries, loving family (both yours and his) when you don’t feel like it and extending grace. It also can mean taking a phone call and dealing with whatever a family member needs, so that your husband doesn’t have to. It can also mean respecting the boundaries your husband has drawn for your family. Love his family, respect them – but love and respect him first.
Step Up To The Plate
I love supporting my husband, pinch hitting for him and helping him. I don’t do it for thanks, but seeing his face and feeling his embrace when he knows I have fiercely protected him and our time – always makes me smile. We can go to bat every day for that amazing man we married. It can be in little ways and sometimes big ways. It all speaks volumes.
What are some other ways you have learned to support your husband? What are things you have learned to avoid? Please share so that we can all learn together.
– Kate Aldrich
Bio: Kate with her amazing hubby, Brad write and speak on all things marriage. In 2009 they followed God’s prompting and founded One Flesh Marriage Ministries, a blog based on their marriage journey and God’s word in Ephesians 5. Brad is the Director of Small Groups and re|engage (marriage ministy) at their home church, the Worship Center. Kate is a homeschooling mom and a natural light portrait photographer. God has given Brad and Kate three amazing blessings, two biological and one adopted who have enriched their life and marriage. They live in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania where the Amish buggies roam. You can find their blog at www.onefleshmarriage.com