“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” James 1:19
The first year of marriage is hard. You are just starting to really get to know each other and are probably seeing each other’s true colors for the very first time. The first real argument that my husband and I had wasn’t even about the thing we had begun discussing.
You see, the way I was responding to him and the tone of my voice had sent our little minor disagreement into our first full-fledged fight. I was angry and I let it show by my quick wit and disrespectful remarks. I felt like a child that didn’t get her way. I wanted to huff and puff and go hide in the bathroom.
Thankfully, 4 years later, God has helped me grow in this area. Of course we still struggle at times but now our mutual goal is to calmly communicate by implementing these simple truths based on James 1:19.
3 Tips For Communicating In A Relationship
1. Be Quick to Listen: I mean really listen. Stop thinking about what you are going to say next and concentrate on your spouse. Put aside your desire to be right and show your husband that he is the priority.
2. Slow to Speak: So often we need to have the last word. More often than not we should remain silent. If we do speak, we should do so humbly in love and without a selfish agenda.
3. Slow to Become Angry: Remember not to raise your voice and to keep your tone in check. We often want to get our jab in to prove our point. Instead we need to be praying and asking God to restrain us, keep us calm and ask Him to intervene when we feel unglued.
Dear Heavenly Father, We lift up our marriages to you and ask that you would help us to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Father, we know you are fighting for us and our marriages. Allow us to stop fighting against each other and unite us to fight for our marriage and Your glory! In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.