Where Do I Come In? What About My Needs? Who Is Going To Care About My Happiness?

Have you ever gone throughout the house picking up your husband’s messes, cleaning up after the family, doing the laundry, maintaining a peaceful home, yielding your heart in respect, rearranging plans and making sacrifices…simultaneously wondering…

Where do I come in? Who is going to worry about me? About my needs? About my happiness?

I use to think this way…and sometimes these thoughts can come back to torment me. However, I have grown in my understanding and I have gained a perspective that helps me address those thoughts. I thought I would share them with you today.happiness

To answer this heart yearning “what about me” question…


Only God can truly satisfy you, fulfill you, care about every detail of your life as you desire someone to. Only God will make time for you everyday without fail. Only God is able and available for intimacy and connection every day of your life. Only God is going to care about your needs and fill them. Only He can!

I cannot stress to you enough the truth that God desires an intimate relationship with you. He is willing and He is ready! All you need to do is acknowledge Him and respond to Him.

Our husbands cannot do these things as perfectly as our Heavenly Father can because they are men, human, and they are not perfect. They will fail us, just as we will at times fail them. They will miss our cues, they will not hear clearly, they will not see as we see, they just can’t.

Sometimes they will be able to do this for us. But not as perfectly, nor as satisfying as God can.

Our circumstances will always be changing. There will always be opportunities for you to serve your husband and family. There will be moments you will feel tired and think to yourself: what about me?  And I believe that this question is a symptom reflecting a greater deficit…time spent with God. Because when we are filled with God’s presence and holiness in our lives, our perspective is focused on eternity, our hearts are postured in thankfulness, our flesh is restrained through self-control, and our minds are confident of our purpose.

Any time I am in the whirlwind of thoughts that lead to question “what about me” and I turn my heart to God, I am changed immediately. I am fulfilled.

There is one more thing I must clarify…although I do believe God cares about you and loves you, He does care more about your holiness than your happiness. But that just proves all the more how much He cares about you, even more than you care about yourself. Because happiness won’t serve as great of a purpose in your life as holiness can.

Happiness is fleeting based on perceived circumstances and stimulations. Happiness changes when those circumstances change.

Holiness is eternal. Holiness refines us. Holiness provides parameters of morality that protect us and benefit our lives and those around us. Holiness creates a peaceful atmosphere, even amidst a world of chaos, when circumstances are not as we desire them to be.

We should crave holiness more than happiness. We should be asking…

What about my holiness?

I want to affirm you that you are important. Your life matters. Despite how much you clean or do for others, despite the sacrifices you make or the plans you put in place to make others happy…you matter too! Don’t let the enemy steal the joy of being a blessing to others, especially your spouse, by embracing doubt in your heart that you are not good enough or that you don’t have as much value! Be secure in your relationship with God and let Him fill you up!

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. – Galatians 6:9

If you know God, but you are distant from Him, I encourage you to spend time praying and asking Him to draw close to you.

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. – James 4:8

Draw near to God and ask Him to help you in your role as a wife. Ask Him to fill you up so that you do not solely rely on your husband to be your everything. Honor God by letting Him be your everything. Also, considering getting Wife After God, a 30-Day Devotional to help you draw close to Him!

If you do not know God. If you have not accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior than I urge you to do that today. Read the scriptures below and then pray the prayer provided. You and your marriage will be radically transformed when you give your heart to God. I know because that is why my marriage is what it is today. It is all because of Him!

Acknowledge you are a sinner.

 For fall have sinned and fall short of the glory of God – Romans 3:23

Believe the Gospel.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 6:23

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8

(Jesus) was delivered up for our trespasses (sins) and raised for our justification. – Romans 4:25

Repent of your sins. 

Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? – Romans 2:4

Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord. – Acts 3:19-20

Receive Christ as your Savior and Confess Christ as Lord.

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. – Romans 10:9-10

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. – Romans 8:1

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39

Dear God,

Thank You for Your unconditional love. I repent of my sins. I believe that You sent Your Son, Jesus Christ, as a sacrifice for me. I believe His testimony, that He died on a cross and rose again on the third day. I believe He is Lord and I confess with my mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord of my life! I submit my heart to You God. Please transform me in Jesus’ name AMEN!

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