I am a type A personality through and through. I can make lists for days and I love having a “plan.” When I was younger I had big dreams and I loved writing in my journal. I would sit back, imagining how God was going to bless every decision I made.
Life was all going to go according to my plan.
I transferred to a Christian college my sophomore year and my mission was to get a ring by spring. It was my plan to find a Godly husband. I assume God didn’t get my memo because I stayed single most of college and was bitter that God was not bringing me the man of my dreams within my timeframe. Then one by one, each of my plans fell through.
When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned…
My senior year of college I fell into a deep depression, grieving over the loss of my brother. That wasn’t part of my plan.
After I graduated, I battled with alcohol and the repercussions of my actions. That wasn’t part of my plan.
God surprised me by writing the most amazing and unpredictable love story for me. That wasn’t part of my plan.
I allowed Satan to use the guilt and shame of my past to cripple me for years. That wasn’t part of my plan.
Shortly after our first anniversary, my husband felt called into full-time ministry. That was not part of my plan.
When the stick I was holding showed,”You are pregnant”. That was not part of my plan.
Having a 6 month old baby and moving from Connecticut to Texas for a new ministry opportunity. That was not part of my plan.
Hopefully you are getting the idea. All of the “plans” I told God long ago may not have happened but I am so thankful that they didn’t. It’s funny how quickly we forget that God is in control and that His plans are always best.
It’s not about our plan, it’s about His!
Looking back I can see how the consequences of my sin infiltrated into God’s plan. Those times are some of the hardest, most faith strengthening times in my life. I may have hated every second of them, but God used those times to grow me and mould me into who I am. I can now use those moments that have shaped my testimony to glorify Him and help others.
What about you? Do you continue to tell God your plans? Are you in a season of life right now, where you are hating every second?
Oh sweet sister, I hope I can encourage you by telling you, it will get better. It may not be a part of your plan, but rest assured that our God is sovereign. Continue to cling to Him and His Word during this tough time and reach out to other believers for help and counsel.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28
God finally taught me to stop making my own plans. I now live each day for His glory and ask Him to guide my steps.
