Love Is Not Self-Seeking – What Is Love? – Part 7


Love Is Not Self-Seeking

Love is a many-splendored thing. So the song lyrics say.

Truly the facets of love are multiple, but today we’re focusing on I Cor. 13:5, and not even the entire verse. Just a simple phrase that encapsulates one thing that love is not. 

love is not self-seeking

When my husband and I first met, each of us had mistakes in the past.  God had brought us back to Him on individual courses- redeeming love.  However, when Matt and I first met, we each had a precious little girl in tow with us- our daughters from previous marriages.

In my single mom mind, I remember thinking that I probably wouldn’t marry again.  My heart was broken and I didn’t trust anyone.  And I especially didn’t trust anyone with my only daughter.

But God.

You see, not only did I have a sweet little girl I was introducing in this relationship, but my daughter had special needs.  Her language was very delayed; her global functioning was also delayed.  Since she was born emergency C-section, much of her delay was blamed on oxygen deprivation at birth. At age 3, she still wasn’t potty-trained. I had taken her to many doctors, with no explanation for her various and illogical symptoms.

The best example that love is not self-seeking that I’ve personally witnessed is the love that Matt, my husband of 13 years now, gave and gives to my daughter, Taylor.  He chose to love her and accept her just as she was- evidenced the very first day we spent at the zoo as he packed her around on his shoulders when she became too tired to keep walking.

love is not self-seeking

When Matt and I married, we still didn’t have a diagnosis for Taylor’s problems.  Then not even a year into our marriage, after continual pursuit of medical assistance for Taylor, the diagnosis was finally discovered- MPS, a rare metabolic disorder, neurologically degenerative. I’ll never forget the day we received the diagnosis and my husband lie on the bed sobbing for the little girl who was given an average lifespan of 10-15 years.  You see, as a medical professional, his knowledge of the road she would travel caused him to wish with all his heart that she did not have to bear this burden.

love is not self-seeking

Each day in Taylor’s life has both blessed us beyond measure and given us challenges beyond our dreams. We’ve seen victories and losses. We’ve experienced ups and downs.  But I have to say that at the top of the list, the one thing we’ve learned through it all is

love is not self-seeking

Have you ever witnessed love that is completely and totally unselfish?

I would love to read about it in the comments below.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” – Philippians 2:3-4


Seek out one thing today that would benefit your husband.  Try and fulfill a need that he may have.  Make sure that it is all about him!


Dear Lord,

Thank you for my husband.  I love him so much and I truly desire to bless him.  Help me not to be self-seeking in any of my relationships.  Fill me with compassion for others, show me how to meet their needs, and help me to bless them, especially my husband.  I lay my selfish ways at your feet, asking that you open my eyes to those around.  I pray that today you will creatively inspire me to find the best way I can bless my husband in Jesus name AMEN!

Love is patientlove is kindIt does not envy, it does not boastit is not proudIt does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13 : 4-8

Questions to discuss in the comments:

Have you ever witnessed love that is completely and totally unselfish?

What is a way you can bless your husband today?


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