The Lord’s Prayer

Aaron Smith:
Hey, we’re Aaron and Jennifer Smith with Marriage After God.

Jennifer Smith:
Helping you cultivate an extraordinary marriage.

Aaron Smith:
And today, we’re going to see what we can learn from The Lord’s Prayer. Welcome to the Marriage After God Podcast, where we believe that marriage was meant for more than just happily ever after.

Jennifer Smith:
I’m Jennifer, also known as Unveiled Wife.

Aaron Smith:
And I’m Aaron, also known as Husband Revolution.

Jennifer Smith:
We had been married for over a decade.

Aaron Smith:
And so far, we have four young children.

Jennifer Smith:
We have been doing marriage ministry online for over seven years, through blogging and social media.

Aaron Smith:
With the desire to inspire couples to keep God at the center of their marriage, encouraging them to walk in faith every day.

Jennifer Smith:
We believe that Christian marriage should be an extraordinary one, full of life …

Aaron Smith:
Love.

Jennifer Smith:
… and power.

Aaron Smith:
That can only be found by chasing after God.

Jennifer Smith:
Together.

Aaron Smith:
Thank you for joining us on this journey as we chase boldly after God’s will for our life together.

Jennifer Smith:
This is Marriage After God.

Aaron Smith:
Hey, thanks for joining us for another episode of the Marriage After God Podcast. We’re excited to have you. We’re also excited about this topic, just talking about prayer, talking about The Lord’s Prayer. Before we get into the topic, I want to invite you to leave us a star rating and review. We cherish every single one of those reviews, and those reviews help new people find the podcast, and helps the algorithms in the podcast apps to show our podcast to more people, the more people that leave reviews. So we’d love to invite you to do that. If you haven’t left us a review yet, we’d love to have you do that. If you have left us a review, thank you.

Jennifer Smith:
We’d also like to invite you guys to go get your free download that Aaron and I created just for you, it’s called Date Night Conversation Starters, and it’s 52 conversation starters for you to take on your next date night. So it’s really easy to get, just go to datenightconversations.com. And we just want to also be encouraging you guys that if you’re not making date night a priority, to do that. With prioritizing date night, even if you don’t get out of the house, you just make that time a priority, it’s just a great time for you guys to be working on your marriage, cultivating that friendship in marriage, laughing together, playing together, but I would say most importantly, talking to each other. So we created this free download for you to just inspire that conversation to happen. We just made it for you guys! So go to datenightconversations.com to get that today.

Aaron Smith:
In today’s topic, we are going to take a piece, a few scriptures from the Bible, and just break it down and talk about it, and it’s specifically going to be The Lord’s Prayer. It’s probably the most famous prayer ever said, and it’s by Jesus Himself, and it’s when He gave His Sermon on the Mount, it was a part of it. He was teaching the people listening, His disciples and those that were there, He said, “When you pray, pray like this.” So I thought it’d be awesome if we just kind of discussed, we broke down the prayer, broke down what he said, and just see what we can draw from it for our own lives to encourage us in our prayer life, encourage you in your prayer life.

And there’s some cool stuff in it, because it’s not what we should pray, it’s how we should pray. A lot of people like to recite The Lord’s Prayer, which there’s nothing wrong with that, Jesus said it, it’s a good prayer. But He’s giving us a template, a way of thinking when we’re coming to the Lord in prayer, and what we’re actually doing. The Lord’s Prayer is actually only recorded in two gospels, Matthew and Luke, and it’s a part of a large discourse, it’s part of the Sermon on the Mount.

He talks about tons of things, marriage, and giving, and praying, and all these things. He’s teaching the people God’s purpose for these things, because they all grew up with The Law, but now Jesus, He’s like, “This is what, my heart truly is about these things,” and often they were much deeper than even The Law on the surface said. But it’s a really incredible sermon. It’s probably the most sermon ever spoken by Jesus Himself. But we’re going to focus on just this prayer, what’s called The Lord’s Prayer.

Jennifer Smith:
I’m so excited about this episode, you guys, and I think mainly because prayer is such an essential and vital part of a Christian’s life, and it should be. It should be a priority. But everyone listening, there’s so many different places that we’re in, so many different journeys that people are walking with God right now today. And so some people might have an awesome prayer life, but they’ll still get a ton out of hearing this broken down, piece by piece. Then others may be just encouraged to evaluate their life and say, “Man, I’m not praying. I should be praying on a daily basis.”

So I’m just encouraged thinking about all the different people that are listening right now, and how they’ll be impacted and inspired by today’s topic, and just looking at The Lord’s Prayer and how Jesus prayed.

Aaron Smith:
And I want to be vulnerable. One of the reasons I wanted to do this episode is, you know, we talk about prayer a lot, and what it means to us, and that we encourage Christians to be praying because that’s what the Bible tells us, it commands us to pray. But to be honest, me and you need to work on our prayer life. And not work on it as in trying to get closer to God and trying to work for our salvation. I want to be closer to God, and I want to be better in my prayer life, not for just me, but for my family’s sake, for your sake, for my relationship with God’s sake, for my children’s sake, for my church’s sake, and so I wanted to be encouraged in this as well, as we are growing in our prayer life and seeking the Lord in deeper and deeper ways.

So I guess I’ll start by just reading it. It’s found in Matthew 6:5-15. This is the longest version of The Lord’s Prayer, and we’ll start in verse 5. It says, “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door, and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who is in secret will reward you. And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their mini words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.

Pray like this, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

So I just wanted to start by reading the whole piece of it for context. He starts off with talking about how you should pray, then He gives an example what the kind of prayer is, and then He says some pretty heavy things at the end.

Jennifer Smith:
The first thing that stands out to me is it’s such an iconic piece of scripture. You hear recited on holidays, or in movies, and it’s just something that feels so familiar.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, but sometimes with familiarity, we lose intimacy. This happens in our marriage. You get so familiar, so comfortable, you kind of forget about the intricacies, and the yearning, and the longing, and the digging in, and the figuring out, and the learning.

Jennifer Smith:
Sometimes even the simple things, like knowing what your favorite-

Aaron Smith:
Ice cream is.

Jennifer Smith:
… fill in the blank is. Yeah, it’s like there’s a part of intimacy in relationship that’s a constant, like constant growing closer to each other, and we don’t want to skip over that when it comes to The Lord’s Prayer.

Aaron Smith:
That’s why even though this is iconic, and everyone could probably recite most of it just from hearing it so much, but there’s beauty is going back to the scriptures. And I circled this because I like, “Oh, I already read that, I already know it.” Then I go back and read it, I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I’ve never read this before.” That’s what it seems like when I read it, things that I’ve read in the past.

So anyways, we want to dig in and just, let’s get more intimate with this prayer, what Jesus is actually teaching on the Mount of Olives. So in verse it says, “When you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in synagogues and at the street corners that they may be seen by others.” So first thing I get from this, the word hypocrite stands out. So when we pray, let’s not be hypocrites. Let’s not say one thing and do another. I pray and ask God to give me peace and patience, and then I run out and I go and be frantic, and hectic, and rash, and harsh, and angry, and I’m impatient, and I’m praying for one thing and expecting God to just make me into a robot and cause me to be that way, rather than taking the opportunities He gives me to be patient. Then say, “Okay, Lord, thank you for giving me what you’ve already given me.” I know there’s many other ways that we’re hypocrites.

Jennifer Smith:
Well, the thing that comes to my mind is when the setting makes it easier for you to show your admiration or love for God, but the moment the environment changes or that settings changes, how are you? Because God can sniff out an untrue heart, God knows whether-

Aaron Smith:
He knows us.

Jennifer Smith:
… you’re truly devoted to Him or if you have a heart of prayer. For example, if you’re in a Bible study or at church and you’re praying because you’re being prompted to or because the setting draws you closer in that way, like let’s say through worship or something like that, that’s great. What happens during the week when the setting is chaotic, or mundane feeling, or you have a lot of things on your mind? Are you still stopping to just pray? When I think of being a hypocrite when it comes to prayer, I don’t know, that’s what comes to my mind.

Aaron Smith:
Well, I also think, hypocrisy is saying one thing but thinking another. So like if I say I believe, but then in my heart and in my actions I don’t believe, that’s hypocrisy. So if we’re praying to God, in James it says, “If you pray and do not doubt,” are we praying and saying, “Lord, cause this thing to happen in me,” or, “work in my husband’s heart,” or, “my wife’s heart,” or “Hey, help me in these circumstances,” do we actually believe God’s hearing us, first of all? When I pray, do I believe God’s hearing me? Or do I pray and then I walk away and be like, “Well, I don’t know why he would listen to me anyway. I’m not good enough to be heard”?

That’s a hypocritical way of thinking, of saying one thing, praying, acting this one way, but believing another way. So I think that when we come to the Lord, we need to believe that He hears us, and He talks about this.

Jennifer Smith:
Here’s another thing that I think of, is just in our relationship as parents to our children, if we’re teaching them to pray in every circumstance, when they get hurt, or for different seasons and different situations, we’re telling them to pray but yet we’re not doing that, they can sniff out hypocrisy too, and eventually when they’re old enough they’ll be able to call it out.

Aaron Smith:
Then another thing, with hypocrisy, and I’ve seen this in my life, I have this sin over here that I haven’t quite repented of, and I’m hiding it, but then because of the guilt and shame or whatever, I’m trying to pray and I’m trying to get all closer to God in my own flesh, and I know a lot of people do this, like, “I’m going to read the Bible more, I’m going to go pray more.” And I’m trying to really just personally cleanse my own shame, instead of just running to my Father and repenting, or repenting to the person I need to. And that’s hypocrisy. Going to God and asking for one thing, and He’s like, “Well, what about this thing over here that I’m already prompting your heart to do. Are you even listening to me? Why would you listen to this other thing if I was to respond to you if you haven’t listened to this thing over here? I’m convicting you to-“

Jennifer Smith:
He knows our heart.

Aaron Smith:
He does. So coming to the Lord without hypocrisy in our hearts. Is our hearts desire to walk with God, throughout the day, not just when we need something? Are we going to God? Let’s go to God because He’s our Father, and not just to be seen spiritually or religiously. But it says the cause, and that’s not the only place we’re supposed to pray. But the point is, when you’re at home by yourself, and this is something that convicts me, do I pray? Do I honestly say, “Lord, what’s going on right now? Where am I at? I need your strength right now because I am weak.” Not just when people are around and when I’m at church and when it sounds good, but personally, I have a personal relationship with the Father.

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah. You know, when you brought up the unrepentant sin, I’m just wondering how often unrepentant sin keeps people altogether from praying because they feel that shame, or they feel maybe they don’t want to give that sin up so they’re just going to avoid it altogether. There’s lots of different reasons why they would do that. So maybe just as an encouragement for those listening that if this is tugging on your heart right now, I’d say just stop, drop, and pray, and go there.

Aaron Smith:
And it means the Father loves you.

Jennifer Smith:
Don’t be intimidated by it, don’t be fearful, don’t avoid it, because this is important, you guys.

Aaron Smith:
Well, and I’ll say this, that the pain that you feel in knowing that you must repent of something is real, but it’s much less painful than not repenting, and what will happen in your life because of the unrepentant sin. That’s where I land in my life, like do I want to repent and reveal my sin and be revealed for who I truly was acting like? Or do I want to be healed? Right? Because James tells us, “Confess your sins to one another that you may be healed.” I want to be healed. And it’s painful to do, but it’s much less painful than letting it live, and grow, and turn into death, which is what the Bible teaches. So let’s go to verse 6.

Jennifer Smith:
Okay. It says, “But when you pray, go into the room and shut the door, and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father, who sees in secret will reward you.”

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, so I kind of talked about this. Do we have a real relationship with God? Is prayer something that happens when we’re even alone, and in secret? And it’s for the sake of hearing from the Lord and speaking to the Lord, right? That’s what it’s for.

Jennifer Smith:
I remember early on in our marriage, it took a while for me to understand that this was even a thing that I did, but I would text you, call you when we were both at work or during the day when we weren’t together, or even at night, and I would ask you to pray for me because whatever I was going through. And I still think that we should communicate in that way. You should know what’s going on in my life, and I should receive that prayer. But what I wasn’t doing was praying for that thing for myself. And like you said, do we have a personal, private prayer life where we’re going to God? And I would say that I was actually using you to do that for me, because you would respond right away, “Yeah, of course,” then you would pray for me, and then I would feel satisfied or fulfilled without even having to go to God myself. But then eventually, He got ahold of my heart and made me realize what was going on.

Aaron Smith:
Well, and this is something that convicts me. Do we seek out time to be alone to pray, as Jesus often did? Jesus gave us this example. Often, He would leave the crowds and He went off to be by Himself up on a hill, early in the morning or late at night, sometimes all throughout the night, to be with the Lord. And I want that craving, I want that hunger to get to a point and realize, “Man, I haven’t communed with God yet today, and I feel like I’ve starved myself all day. I want more and more of that feeling to draw me to Him.”

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah. Something that I’ve been going through is just having a bunch of little kids at home, and the constant needs and demand of that, which is beautiful and I truly do love motherhood, but I was craving that time with God and feel like, “But I can’t just get alone.” Until I realized I just needed to wake up earlier and get that time in before they came in.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, sacrifice for that time.

Jennifer Smith:
It was sacrifice. Yeah. And it changes my heart. It prepares my heart even for the day with my children. And so, just as an encouragement to moms who maybe heard you say that, “I just need to get away and be with Jesus,” is we absolutely still do, and sometimes it’s in the midst of the kids, and we encourage them to do quiet time while we break for prayer. Other times it’s sacrificing that sleep and getting up a little bit earlier, staying up late to do it.

Aaron Smith:
Verse 7 and 8, “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.” First that stands out is we know God, and He knows us, so He lets us talk to Him like we know Him, which is cool. Because a lot of people think like, “Why should I even pray? He already knows everything.”

But that’s like think about as parents, there’s plenty of things that we know that our kids don’t know we know about them, things that they need, things that they want, things that they’re going through. I still want my son to come to me and tell me. It doesn’t matter if I know already. I don’t tell my son, “Don’t tell me, I already know.” I say, “Oh, what’s going on?” And I want him to tell me because it cultivates his relationship with me, and it builds trust, and it builds love and connection. That’s a small thing, and I think God’s bigger than this, but …

Jennifer Smith:
I think for me, in my own walk with God, learning how to be intimate in my relationship with Him, He showed me that, because I would, I would consider Him like all knowing, so why do I need to tell Him everything that’s going on right now when He sees, and hears, and knows everything. But He showed me that it’s an offering of my heart, it’s me giving it to Him, and it’s different. It’s different than Him just knowing and seeing, it’s me actually opening up my hands and my heart, saying, “Here, I want you to know about this.” I just think that’s a really beautiful way of communion with God.

Aaron Smith:
Well, it’s relationship.

Jennifer Smith:
Like you said, building up that trust.

Aaron Smith:
Yup. Another thing about this that I think about is we don’t need to make our prayers wordy or religious, like, “I’m not using the right words when I pray to God.” Well, we should be respectful and reverent to God, but there is no special incantations to get God to do something. That’s not what prayer is.

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah, but I do feel like He said this because He created us, and He knows our beings, and He knows that there’s probably a part of us that wants to say the right thing, in the right time, and in the right way, and we do desire that. So I just want to encourage people that don’t keep yourself from praying just because you feel like you don’t have the right words to say.

Aaron Smith:
And to be honest, there’s plenty of scripture in the Bible that have already come up with the words.

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah, that’s true.

Aaron Smith:
Just go pray scripture over your life.

Jennifer Smith:
That’s a good idea.

Aaron Smith:
Read the Psalms out loud and say, “Lord, make this real in my life.”

Jennifer Smith:
Oh man, so I have this journal, a journal Bible, and so there’s the lines on the side, and there are so many times where I just say amen, or I say, “Yes, I want this,” or I’ll literally copy the sentence and say, “Me too.” That’s basically what, I mean, I’m writing the prayer out, but-

Aaron Smith:
Well, and this tells us, God knows us already. He already knows what we need before we ask it. There’s another place in the Bible that says when we don’t know what to pray for, the Holy Spirit prays for us, which should encourage us, like, “Lord, I’m going to come to you, and I’m going to be quiet and still and engaged with you. There may not even be a word that comes out of my mouth.” But we can actually sit in silence, anticipating to hear from the Lord, which is still prayer. I mean, sitting in silence, not empty, but dwelling on things that God’s done, dwelling on who He is, dwelling in scriptures we know, and waiting to hear from the Lord is prayer.

Jennifer Smith:
Okay, but how hard is it to do that in this fast paced, busy life that we all live?

Aaron Smith:
Well, as long as I get all the red notifications off my phone, I’m good.

Jennifer Smith:
Oh man.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah.

Jennifer Smith:
Is that even possible anymore?

Aaron Smith:
We get distracted by everything because the enemy does not want us waiting on the Lord and having our-

Jennifer Smith:
We have to find time to slow down.

Aaron Smith:
… strength renewed, and rising up on wings of eagles, and all these things that the word says when we wait on the Lord.

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah. I think, just as an encouragement for married couples, because that’s what we are, we’re a married podcast.

Aaron Smith:
What?

Jennifer Smith:
I know. When it comes to praying, especially when we’re talking about you don’t need to have lofty words or express yourself a very specific way. Don’t let that ideal keep you from praying over your spouse because it can seem like an intimidating thing, especially if you’re not used to doing it.

Aaron Smith:
Even if it’s clumsy in the beginning.

Jennifer Smith:
Hey, do it anyways.

Aaron Smith:
The Lord loves it.

Jennifer Smith:
And it will bless your spouse, and it will bless you, and it will just grow that desire in your heart to want to pray for each other, so that’s just my little side encouragement of praying for each other, even out loud, please.

Aaron Smith:
That was a great encouragement. So verse 9, broke it up in two parts, verse 9a says, “Pray, then, like this, our Father in heaven.” And I wanted to stop on this, and I read some commentaries on this, and when you read it, it says Father, and we’ve always heard this, but there’s something so special about Jesus saying, “Pray like this, our Father.” There’s so many names and titles Jesus could have used for God, and this is just a couple of them, Almighty God, Deliverer, Creator, Judge, King, Lawgiver, Righteous One, Shepherd, Yahweh. He could have started with any of those, but He said Father. He appeals to Him as Father.

And when you hear Jesus talk about God throughout the scriptures, He says, “I only do that which my Father has told me to do. I follow my Father. I only speak what my Father says. I’m about my Father’s business.” He’s a Son, and He talks to His Father. Then He teaches us, because we are sons and daughters of God, if we have accepted His Son, Jesus, right? We get to come to Him as children, and we get to say Father. And I think it’s in Romans, it says the spirit within us cries out, “Abba, Father,” which is like a Hebrew way of saying Dada. Right?

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah.

Aaron Smith:
He’s our Father. We get to approach Him as children who are in the home, we’re not beggars outside the home, we’re not strangers knocking in the door, we’re none of those. We’re in the home, as children, comforted by a dad who loves us more than we could ever imagine, who does everything to protect us, and take care of us, and give us what we need. That’s the person we’re talking to. And so if you have a broken relationship with your father, if you never had a father, what’s beautiful is you have the perfect Father. And for generations, this truth has comforted orphans, this truth has comforted people who come from broken homes. But you got to receive it. You got to say, “Oh, He is my Father, and I’m going to listen to His words, and I’m going to trust Him.”

So I thought that was beautiful that Jesus starts off with telling us, “Pray to your Father. Yes, He is the Creator. Yes, He is the King. Yes, He is sovereign. Yes, he is the Judge. But he’s your Dad.”

Jennifer Smith:
That’s really cool. How would you encourage, because you brought up this broken relationships and people with earthly fathers here that maybe haven’t done a great job at parenting, or fulfilling that role for them, so how do those people see God with a clearer lens? How would you encourage them?

Aaron Smith:
Well, pray. Ask God to clean their vision, because right now they might be seeing God through the lens of their own father, and their own relationships.

Jennifer Smith:
Identifying God as this person that’s like my-

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, He’s distant.

Jennifer Smith:
Got it, yeah.

Aaron Smith:
Or He’s harsh, or He’s abusive, or He’s, whatever the words that you associate with Father. God is none of those things. God is God, and He’s good. So the Bible tells us that we’re transformed by the renewing of our minds. Renew your mind in the truth of what the word says about God, your Father, and work on and ask the Holy Spirit to change you, and stop the pattern of applying your experience with your father, and your relationship to Him. Let God be God, and let your earthly father be him, right?

Jennifer Smith:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Aaron Smith:
So I would say that.

Jennifer Smith:
That’s really good, that’s really encouraging. Okay, so moving on, then, to the second part of this.

Aaron Smith:
Verse 9b says, “Hallowed be your name.” And hallowed means honor as holy. So like, “Your name is holy.” It’s saying when we pray, yes, He’s our Father, but recognize He is holy.

Jennifer Smith:
Right.

Aaron Smith:
So babe, can our kids just come up to us and talk to us however they want?

Jennifer Smith:
No, I correct them.

Aaron Smith:
No. That’s doesn’t mean we don’t love them.

Jennifer Smith:
You can’t be disrespectful.

Aaron Smith:
Now, if my son comes up to me and is disrespectful, I don’t just kick him out of the house. Right?

Jennifer Smith:
No.

Aaron Smith:
So all of these things are true at the same time. He’s not allowed to talk disrespectful to us, but even if he does, we don’t kick him out. Right? We train him, we say, “Actually. How you just talked to us was not right.” Right? And if it happens perpetually, there’s discipline, there’s correction, we help him learn how to talk to us appropriately so that he can learn how to talk to God. So again, there’s this part of we need to have a reverence for our Holy Father. He’s Holy, and He’s perfect, and He’s good, and even if we’re angry, we don’t come to Him and just throw at Him whatever we think He deserves in that moment because He hasn’t given us what we want.

No, actually, we get to come to Him, and we get to lay down our emotions at His altar. Say, “Okay, Lord, I am so mad right now, and I don’t understand why this is happening, but help me understand.” Like if my son came to me, and he was mad because we said something, but he said, “I know you want me to do this thing, but I am so angry and I’m so emotional, I don’t get it,” and if he said it with a reverence and an honor, would I not get down on my knees and be like, “I know you don’t get it, and I am sorry you feel this way, but this is what’s right, this is what’s good.”

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah. I do think, though, that with parenting, especially little ones, when we see that expression of disrespect or lack of reverence, it’s our job to ask them, “What’s motivating this? Where is your heart at?” What is it that’s-“

Aaron Smith:
Are you loving me right now?

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah, “What is this?” Also help them identify our role and position in their life, and what God has given us to do for their sake. We also use our relationship with God as that identifier, like how we’re supposed to be with God, they should be with us. It’s just a really beautiful thing when you get to use the gospel and scripture to show your child and teach them what it’s like to honor God.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah. I love that. Moving on to verse 10a. Verse 10 is broken up into a few parts. Verse 10a, this is really cool because in the progression of His petitions in this, this is the first petition, right? So we had Jesus kind of talking to God, and presenting who He is, and then the first petition, the first thing that He asks of God is, “Your kingdom come.” The Bible tells us to seek first the kingdom of heaven, and all of the things that we need, that He’s about to pray about, we will have because God knows what we need. He says this in the prayer, and it lines up perfectly with what we’re told about seeking first the kingdom of heaven.

“Your kingdom come.” Do we have a longing in our hearts for His kingdom to come?or is our first longing coming to me like, “Why haven’t you given me this thing yet? Where’s that promise you had for me?” Right? We have this, are we coming to Him with these earthly … Yes, we have earthly things we need, but we were just told God knows what they are. Or I our first petition to the Lord, “Lord, how is your kingdom coming through my life, in my family, to those around me? Is there someone that I could be petitioning for? Lord, reveal yourself to them.” Which is the kingdom come.

So when it says, “Your kingdom come,” Jesus said, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” He was talking about Himself. He’s like, “Repent, the Messiah’s here. I’m here. I’m literally about to take the sins of the world.” That’s what He was saying. And then He says right here, “Your kingdom come.” So our first petition, our first posture in all of our prayers … Jennifer, we just talked about this recently, there was a prayer about all the tumult that’s happening in the world right now, all the chaos, and you desired that there would be peace, and I started praying, and what came out of my mouth was I prayed that this opportunity would draw people to you, Lord.

Jennifer Smith:
Would bring salvation.

Aaron Smith:
I pray that Christians would be good examples. And not that you weren’t caring about these things, but your first thought was the peace in the situation. But when you heard me praying that, you were like, “Oh.”

Jennifer Smith:
There was a difference.

Aaron Smith:
Like, “There’s a bigger thing that we could be praying for.” And you do care about those things, just the Holy Spirit was leading me to pray that way. But do we care about that? Do we want God’s kingdom to be revealed in the hearts of men and women?

Jennifer Smith:
As you were talking, I was just thinking about something that happened to me in the morning time, when I am praying, I’ll often journal my prayers, so I’ll wite them out, and I caught myself starting out, “Dear God,” and then jumping into a very quick request. And now, I can feel myself wanting to go there first, and having to write out some thank yous and gratitude, and sometimes that’s the whole prayer because I realize that it’s not for me.

Aaron Smith:
Well, and that’s it, it’s not about you.

Jennifer Smith:
But my flesh is so selfish, even still, after walking with God all these years, and I see it on paper, and I go, “Ugh.” You know?

Aaron Smith:
Yeah.

Jennifer Smith:
And it’s not that it’s terrible, it’s just God’s changing my heart, and He’s showing me that my heart needs to align with His. “Your kingdom come,” that’s such a beautiful and short statement, but it’s this desire for His will to be done, and it’s really also a desire for us to align our hearts with His.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, and it’s us saying, “It’s not about us, it’s about you, Lord.”

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah. In Marriage After God, we ask the question, are you building your kingdom, in your marriage? Are you guys working for yourselves? Or are you building together? Are you building His kingdom? And I love that.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, because we all could have our own kingdoms, I mean, in essence, in our homes, and our world around us, what we’re building, and what we have controlled.

Jennifer Smith:
It goes back to those daily choices.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, Jesus shows us, it’s about Him, “Your kingdom.” Then in verse 10b, “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” This goes back to like what did Jesus do when He was in the garden? He was about to go to the cross and He said, “Lord, may this cup pass my lips,” and He’s talking about this cup of wrath, what was about to happen. And He said, “Nevertheless, not my will be done, but yours.” And He said that three times. So even Jesus, the God man, right? Had His own will that He wanted. But you know what he did? He submitted His will to the Father’s. Right? It’s not sinful to have desires and a will. It is sinful to pursue those over God’s will.

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah.

Aaron Smith:
Right? So Jesus submitted His will to the Father, and He said, “Not my will be done, but yours,” which is the prayer He says right here, “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” So it’s His will, not ours. Our prayers are not intended to change God, since God can’t change.

James 1:17 says this, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” He doesn’t change. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever. So our job isn’t trying to change God’s heart, like, “hey, this situation, God, that you want to happen, can we not have that happen? Let’s just … ” No, your will, Lord. Is this something that I need to change in? Is the situation that I’m doing right now, is there something that I need to be revealed and understand about it so that I can walk better in it, and receive it with thanksgiving? So His will, not ours.

We want to receive it. In John 5:14, it says, “And this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” So I could be like, “Lord, I really want that Aston Martin. A car. I just know, Lord, that that’s going to be so good for me.” And God’s like, “Well, that’s not what is in my will for you right now … or ever.” So am I praying in God’s will, or am I praying in my will? Are we asking for His things, like, “Lord, what do you want right now in my life, in this person’s life?”

A good example about this, praying for our will, we’ve been trying to teach our son this, our son gets bad dreams. I grew up getting bad dreams all the time.

Jennifer Smith:
I did too.

Aaron Smith:
And I still get them. They don’t affect me anymore, but I get them. I’ll wake up and be like, “Wow, that was a scary dream.” But he gets them, and he comes to us at night, fearful, and emotional, we pray for him, and it breaks my heart. And I want to pray like, “Lord, just take these dreams away.” Is God totally capable of taking the dreams away?

Jennifer Smith:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Aaron Smith:
Yeah. He can give him dreams of unicorns and rainbows every night if He wanted to, because God’s God. But He doesn’t. Okay, so does that mean God’s not answering the prayer? No. It’s just possible that God has a will for my son that goes beyond him just being comforted at night. Right? Not that God doesn’t want to comfort, God is a God of comfort. He actually came to me, and he had his father comfort him. I got to comfort my son, so that was actually a beautiful thing that built our unity and connection.

But what are some other things that God might have for our son in these bad dreams? Well, one of them would be, so, to be comforted by me, but also to build character, like that he learns that these dreams don’t have any effect on him, that he can actually control his emotions in them, that he can learn to trust God.

Jennifer Smith:
Doesn’t have any effect on him as in they’re not real.

Aaron Smith:
Right.

Jennifer Smith:
But it does affect him emotionally.

Aaron Smith:
No, but when we have those opportunities to be emotional, what do we get to do?

Jennifer Smith:
We go to God. We have self-control.

Aaron Smith:
So we teach him, “Elliot, next time when you have one of these, wake up and pray to God. Say, ‘God, will you comfort me right now? Will you give me peace right now?’ And just know that He’s there.” So God’s will is that my son learns to lean on Him. As Paul was told, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.” Something you can’t control, that’s a weakness. Right? So there’s other things at play here, and we want to be praying in God’s will. My prayer for my son is that he would learn to lean on God in these times, that he would learn to not be so paralyzed by fear, that he would learn to be strengthened, like, “You know what, Lord, that was scary, but thank you, Lord, for making … It was just a dream.” Like trusting-

Jennifer Smith:
I know you’re just talking about dreams, but I feel like this is such a big encouragement for parents listening right now that even when we don’t know what to do in those situations for our kids, because we even feel helpless, but we know where to send them, we know where to guide them, we know where to take them to, to receive that comfort and clarity and encouragement, and it’s the Lord. So I would just encourage parents to do that, to be praying with your kids, for your kids, but also encouraging your kids to be praying themselves.

Aaron Smith:
Right. And if we always just pray for comfort, like, “Lord, take away this pain. Lord, heal my headache. Lord, take away the dreams, Lord,” if that’s all we’re every praying, that doesn’t mean He’s never going to answer those things.

Jennifer Smith:
And there’s nothing wrong in asking that.

Aaron Smith:
Right. But if our prayers are around character and what God wants to do in us, like, “You know what? Dreams are going to come, son. Or these bad things are going to come, or you’re going to be sick. But you know what? We have a Father that loves us, and He can heal us. It doesn’t mean He will.”

Jennifer Smith:
He’s sovereign.

Aaron Smith:
But you know what? Even if He doesn’t heal us, He’s good, and we can run to Him, and we can say, “Lord, I’m in pain right now. Will you comfort me? Will you give me your words to continue to meditate on so that I can realize that this pain is temporary and that one day I’ll be with you?” So those are the things that we encourage. And you know what? Those prayers get answered, they do, when we pray that way. So our children actually see prayers getting answered. So let’s go on to verse 11.

Jennifer Smith:
It says, “Give us this day our daily bread.”

Aaron Smith:
So this is the first petition where it’s asking for a normal thing.

Jennifer Smith:
Everybody loves bread.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah.

Jennifer Smith:
God, we need to have some gluten free options in there. Just kidding.

Aaron Smith:
But what this made me think of is when we pray, we recognize that our true source of provision is not food. Right? So I’m going to the Lord and say, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Am I literally asking God to hand me a piece of bread? No, I’m asking to be provided for by the Provider. Right?

Jennifer Smith:
We are acknowledging Him as the Provider.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, Jehovah Jireh, the Lord will provide. That’s one of His names, that’s one of His titles. He loves it. He did it for the people of Israel. He gave them manna.

Jennifer Smith:
He did it for Abraham on the mount.

Aaron Smith:
So it’s not our money, or possessions, or kill that take care of us, it’s our Father. My kids, they’re taken care of by their father, and their mother, of course. I love this perspective, because it can be looked at as telling God what we need rather than honoring Him for being a good provider. Like, “Oh God, I need this, I need this,” and pretending or acting as if He doesn’t even know. But He does know. And honoring Him, saying, “You are a good provider.”

I think of that scripture, 1 Corinthians 4:7, it says, “For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” Like, everything we have, we’ve received. Not a single person has manifested anything from nowhere. We’ve received everything from somewhere, and it all comes from God.

In Deuteronomy 8:18, it says, “You shall remember the Lord, your God, for it is He who gives you the power to get wealth, that he may confirm His covenant that He swore to your fathers as it is this day.” He was telling the people of Israel, he was like, “Don’t forget that the only reason you can even get wealth is because God gives you the ability to.”

Jennifer Smith:
God gave it to you, yeah.

Aaron Smith:
Right. So the Bible, just over and over, talks about He is our provider, He is our bread of life, He is our living water. He is all of the things that we need. And He provides the things that we need.

Jennifer Smith:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). And it’s important to recognize that daily.

Aaron Smith:
Also, one more thing I wanted to point out, this idea of giving us this day our daily bread, what do you get when you eat food?

Jennifer Smith:
Full. Just kidding.

Aaron Smith:
No, it’s true.

Jennifer Smith:
Oh, that was …

Aaron Smith:
Yeah. What do you get from it?

Jennifer Smith:
Nutrients.

Aaron Smith:
Nutrients. Your body needs it, it’s energy. We remember who our true sustenance and energy is, and where it comes from. Jesus said this, “We don’t live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God,” and He was quoting that from Deuteronomy 8:3. He used that to battle the devil in truth. He’s like, “Yeah, I’m hungry, but I don’t live on bread alone.”

He even tells the disciples when they come to Him and He’s at the well after he talked to the woman at the well, and they said, “Oh, we’ll get you something.” He’s like, “I have food you don’t even know about.”

Jennifer Smith:
Man, if I were them, I would be like, “What?”

Aaron Smith:
They did. They said, “Did someone give Him bread? What is He talking about?” They literally said that. So anyways, our daily bread. Verse 12. So verse 12, “And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah, I think it’s important that He brings up debts.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, we talk about debt a lot.

Jennifer Smith:
We do. It’s important to be out of debt. Okay, this is basically coming to God with a truly repentant heart. Right?

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, like again, not being hypocrites. We’re coming to Him saying, we want to long to hate what God hates and to love what God loves. So a part of that is we know that He forgives us, all of our debts. Just look at the story of the wicked debtor, the wicked servant who goes, and he gets forgiven all of his debt, debt that he could never pay back, and then he goes out to his servant-

Jennifer Smith:
Turns around and been evil.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah. And He wants us to recognize that we are forgiven.

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah, I think being able to pray this portion of this prayer requires humility to the greatest degree.

Aaron Smith:
Oh yeah. Well, because we come to Him saying we have nothing to give, nothing to offer, but thanks.

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah, truly, for what God did through Jesus on the cross [crosstalk 00:40:53]-

Aaron Smith:
So it makes it very hard to come to prayer and say, “God, just change this person. They are so … ” We’re like, “Thank you, Lord, for changing me, and I just pray that this person’s eyes are opened to who you are, and that it’s not me that’s holding anything against them. I pray that.”

Jennifer Smith:
And there are so many times that, through prayer, that our sin gets recognized, even if we haven’t recognized it previously. Like, we just don’t know, and then we start praying, and God, because He is a good God, reveals it to us.

Aaron Smith:
He’s like, “Oh, remember that time?”

Jennifer Smith:
Prayer changes us in that way, because of that humility.

Aaron Smith:
Then the last part I would point out about this is it brings us into prayer with such a more pure way of praying for our brothers and sisters, that we’re not coming with bitterness, and anger, and a root of frustration or holding anything against anyone because we would immediately feel so hypocritical. Saying, “Yeah, Lord, I know I’m not doing this thing over here, but this person over here.” No, we come in like, “Oh man, I don’t deserve anything you’ve given me, and I don’t even know how I could hold onto this thing against so and so.” That we can come and actually come and stand in the gap for our brothers and sisters, and people in our life, and our enemies, even. It says pray for your enemies. Right?

We can have such a more pure heart for those that we’re praying for, because we’re coming humbly.

Jennifer Smith:
All right, moving on to the next one, verse 13, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” Aaron, do you want to clarify this one?

Aaron Smith:
Yeah. Well, a lot of people can take this … I think the pope was even trying to change this verse, I don’t know exactly. But this idea, it sounds like God’s the one that leads us into temptation, but that’s not what this is saying. It’s we are led by our own desires into temptation. That’s what the Bible teaches us. And so the petition to God is like, “God, lead me in a way that I don’t walk in my own temptations. Strengthen me, then also show me, and make it very clear the ways of escape that you promise you’d give me in those temptations.” Right? So the prayer is that our minds are on His way, and His escapes.

Jennifer Smith:
I was just having a thought here that if you’re praying that God lead you in a specific way, it doesn’t mean that when you are tempted by sin and choose sin that it’s God’s fault. Because if someone’s going to lead you, it’s your responsibility to follow them. And God is leading us, He’s leading us through His word. So if we’re not reading His word, and yet we’re over here sinning, and we’re-

Aaron Smith:
And by is Spirit.

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah. I mean, I think that’s really important to note.

Aaron Smith:
And just so everyone knows, James 1:13 says it very clearly, “Let no one say when he is being tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil, and He Himself tempts no one.”

Jennifer Smith:
There it is.

Aaron Smith:
So the answer is, this is not talking about God leading anyone into temptation, it’s saying lead me in a way that I don’t walk into temptation. So I’m allowing God to lead me, and so therefore I will not give in to my own fleshly temptations, because He’s leading me.

But deliver us from evil, which the Bible tells us over and over again that He protects us from the evil one, that He keeps His own, that He surrounds us. So the prayer is like, “Lord, you know what? Keep the enemy away from me.” I pray these. There’s times that I believe my children or you, that there’s spiritual attack, and prayer is like, “Lord, remove anything from my home. Protect my family. If I’ve invited anything in, or if I’m not protecting them well,” I actually pray and I ask God to reveal that to me so that my home is protected and that I’m giving Him authority and Him position, and everything. Right? So we need to be praying those things.

Jennifer Smith:
Well, I mean, that wraps up what we were aiming to do here, walking through The Lord’s Prayer, and I feel very satisfied and full over everything that we just talked about. How do you feel?

Aaron Smith:
Good. I feel like I want to-

Jennifer Smith:
Get on your knees and pray?

Aaron Smith:
… be a better prayer, yeah.

Jennifer Smith:
I really hope that that encouraged you guys. And just a couple more notes on prayer that we wanted to share with you. Just a reminder that prayer is such a necessary part of the Christian life. If you claim to know God and follow Him as a believer, confessing Him as Lord and savior, don’t be satisfied by the thought that you are good with God. Don’t neglect building an intimate and personal relationship with him through reading His word and through prayer.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, that’d be like us getting married and being like, “No, we’re good. I don’t have to talk to you anymore.”

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah, you can live over there in your space-

Aaron Smith:
What’s the big deal?

Jennifer Smith:
… and I can live over here in my space and do our own things.

Aaron Smith:
No, I want to know you, Jennifer, better today than I did 13 years ago.

Jennifer Smith:
Don’t make me cry. It’s true. He create you to participate in this intimate relationship with Him, giving you the gift of prayer as a way of doing that. It’s a daily commitment to yielding your heart to God in submission, and it truly will dramatically impact your life for the better.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, as we practice and just seek Him, and desire to know Him. And I want to speak to parents, because we’re parents, it’s our responsibility and privilege to teach our children how and when to pray. This is something we try and do often, we give our kids the opportunities to pray. We say, “What do you want to pray for today?” I actually got in the practice of saying, “Who do you want to pray for?” Because often we say what, like these things that we need, but who gets their minds on others.

Jennifer Smith:
I have to share this. There are times that I am blown away and touched so deeply by my children’s prayer.

Aaron Smith:
Oh yeah.

Jennifer Smith:
Our oldest just turned seven, and then four, and two, and you guys, they have incredible prayers. Like when our son asks God to pour His spirit out over a family, okay? He used that phrase, and I had-

Aaron Smith:
He may not even understand it, but he does it.

Jennifer Smith:
I had to open my eyes, and I had tears in my eyes because it was such a beautiful thing for a young boy to pray. And he does that-

Aaron Smith:
Awesome.

Jennifer Smith:
… because of the example that we have been able to share with him. Or like when my daughter notices that I’m not feeling well because of this pregnancy, and her natural response is-

Aaron Smith:
“Let me pray for you.”

Jennifer Smith:
… a quick response to pray. That is what she knows, that’s what she’s familiar with.

Aaron Smith:
And you know what? And handful of times, you totally got better.

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah, it was awesome.

Aaron Smith:
And you tell, “Olive, I feel better! Your prayer helped me. Thank you, Lord.”

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah. Or she’ll ask me, she’ll say, right away, after she says amen, she puts her hand on me and goes, “Mom, do you feel better yet?” So sweet.

Aaron Smith:
Which is cool because she’s praying with anticipation that God heard her prayer.

Jennifer Smith:
She is looking for it.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, she’s looking for answers.

Jennifer Smith:
Oh, that’s so sweet. I just had to share that because it fills my heart with so much joy. And no child is too small to learn how to go to God in prayer. It’s just our responsibility as parents to be sharing that with them.

Aaron Smith:
Yeah, so we need to be teaching them how to pray and when to pray so when they grow up and raise their own families, they can pass on that legacy, faithful prayer and intimacy with God, that they’ve seen it, they’ve done it, and not just done it, but we talk about when God answered prayers so that they can see it, like, “Wow, God does answer prayers.” Because He does.

Jennifer Smith:
Yeah. So this was a really important episode for us to share with you guys. A large part of our ministry online is sharing resources that we created for husbands and wives, families to pray through, just as inspiration for your prayer life, because we know what it’s like to be in seasons of awesome prayer, and then lack. We just want to encourage you guys that if you’ve gotten through this episode and you feel like there’s a lack in your prayer life, we want to help you.

Aaron Smith:
If you want inspiration-

Jennifer Smith:
We wanted to quickly share with you that we do have these resources available at shop.marriageaftergod.com, but it’s 31 Prayers for My Husband, Prayers for My Wife. They’re short devotionals that are written out prayers with journal pages for you to make them person and to make it your own, and each prayer is a different topic of something to pray for.

Aaron Smith:
Yup, we have 31 Prayers for My Son and My Daughter.

Jennifer Smith:
Yup, for parents.

Aaron Smith:
We also have 31 Prayers for My Future Husband and Wife for those that are engaged, or dating, or waiting. And these aren’t to replace prayer life at all, and we tell that to people all the time. It’s to be an inspiration, encouragement, a catalyst, and people love them. So we want to get those into your hands, shop.marriageaftergod.com. That’s one of the great ways you can actually support this podcast, and keep it ad free, is by picking up some books.

So why don’t we close in prayer, as we always do. Dear Lord, thank you for the gift of prayer. Thank you that even though you know all, you desire us as your children to come to you in prayer. You made a way for us to have direct communication with you again like the first man did in the garden. You are holy, and good, and deserve all our prayers, admiration and honor. We desire to come to you more often in prayer. We pray that we would pray for each other in marriage every day, and we pray we would be diligent to pray for our children. Help us to lead our children in prayer and show them how to do it. May you be honored and glorified through the way we pray, and offer our hearts to you in this way. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Hey, thank you so much for joining us on this week’s episode. We pray that you were encouraged. Have a conversation with your spouse about prayer, and go read The Lord’s Prayer again, and dig in for yourself, and just try and glean from it what Jesus has for you. We love you, and we’re praying for you, and look forward to having you next week.

Did you enjoy today’s show? If you did, it would mean the world to us if you could leave us a review on iTunes. Also, if you’re interested, you can find many more encouraging stories and resources at marriageaftergod.com. Let us help you cultivate an extraordinary marriage.