3 Tips To Help Her Be The Proverbs 31 Wife

This guest post was written by Brad from OneFleshMarriage.com and he shares with us the husband of the proverbs 31 wife. I love how he takes the husband who is barely referenced in this chapter and shows us some very strong qualities characteristics that each and every husband should strive to have. Please read and then let me know what you think in the comments below.

Brad Writes…

A few weeks ago the world paused because Her Royal Highness Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana was born. Quite a title for a baby! For some totally unknown reason half of the population of U.S born women are totally enamored with the British Monarch. They follow the ups and downs of the crown and while dreaming of being a princess.

Isn’t that every girls dream? To be a princess? To be nobility?

If you ask any Christian woman what it means to be nobility they will probably start quoting Proverbs 31. I know women who have made it their life’s goal to have this verse read at their funerals while everyone around them nods saying, “she really was a wife of noble character”.

Proverbs 31 tells the story of an amazing woman, who loves and diligently works hard for their family. It has become a seemingly impossible list of qualities for wives to emulate, not unlike the love qualities in 1 Corinthians 13. (I Can’t Love You Right)

Have you ever stopped and thought about this “wife of noble character’s” husband? Go and read Proverbs 31: 10-31, I’ll wait.

The Husband of the Perfect Wife

Was this just the luckiest guy to marry the best women in the world? Or is there something about this husband that helped her, or even that led her to be the amazing woman that God designed her to be?

1. Trust Beyond Measure

In verse 11 we see that he trusts her. “Big deal” I’m thinking, “I trust my wife”, but later we see just how much he trusts her. Not only does this woman shop, cook, and work, she buys property. Her husband says to her, “Go check out this vineyard, and if you like it buy it”. That isn’t really normal today, let alone in this time when “women’s lib” wasn’t even a thought in Solomon’s brain. He trusts her!

2. A Leader of Leaders

In verse 23 we get another picture of this husband. While his wife is running around making clothes, planting fields, and giving to the poor, he is sitting at the city gates among the civic leaders. Now this might sound lazy, but nothing could be farther from the truth. It was at the city gates that all business of the day was done.

He is a leader, someone who not only his wife will follow, but will speak highly of. She is clearly proud of her husband. Something we all aspire to hear from our wives but do we live in a way that she will want to say it?

We talk often of wanting respect, however, we don’t talk often enough about what actions lead to being respected. It is something to consider.

3. Tell Her She’s the One

In verse 29 we see a really important part of this story. The husband praises her, he says to her, “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”

He is complimenting his wife! He is telling her that he loves all she does, but that he loves her most of all! Guys this is something we need to learn how to do better! 

When was the last time you complimented your wife? When was the last time you told her she was the BEST in all the world? No, not just on the cheezy Mother’s Day card you picked out, but from your heart? You used to speak this way to her. Don’t forget that she still needs to hear it!

Best of all…

When I get to heaven I am excited to hear what God has to say about me. But I’ll be honest, I mostly want to hear the lavish praise that he is going to have for my awesome wife! I don’t want to miss that! Most of all I want to make sure that I am the husband that helps her be all that God designed her to be! I know that he will look on her one day and say, “Well done my good and faithful servant” and I’m going to be somewhere back there cheering.


Brad writes with his wife Kate at One Flesh Marriage. They talk on all things marriage, sharing perspectives from both a man and woman’s point of view.

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