A while back my husband and I got into an argument. I would share with you what it was about, but I honestly don’t remember. I think that happens a lot in marriage.
I am left with only a feeling and my husband’s words ringing in my ear,
Do you forget who I am?
Our little spat was going nowhere. I was angry at him for something and I interpreted it as he didn’t care for me. After fighting to get him to understand where I was coming from he interrupted me.
His eyes were glossy, his eyebrows half furrowed and half bent up with concern. His tone was stern, yet defeated,
Do you forget who I am?
His question caught me off guard. He wasn’t retaliating or addressing the issue I was fighting at all. His question made me stop and consider an even bigger issue. In my pride I replied with scorn in my voice,
What are talking about?
And then he explained, although he didn’t have to. I got it.
I understand that you are upset with me and I’m sorry. But do you really think I don’t love you or don’t care? Do all the other things I have done in our relationship just disappear? As if they don’t matter at all?
My husband wanted me to understand how he was feeling. But, I admit, it was hard to see past the hurt I felt. Yet, there was weight to what he shared with me that night. I have not been able to disregard the truth that I must remember who my husband is.
I need to remind my heart of all the good times, the selfless times, the moments of love and laughter and love. I need to establish a foundation of who my husband is so that when I am tempted to interpret an action he does as proof that he doesn’t love me, I can be assured that he does by the proof of everything else he has done.
Maybe you struggle with this too. You appreciate your husband and how good he is, but in the midst of a mistake or a disagreement, everything you know about him gets tossed as you interpret what he does as unloving.
Now there may be times that our husbands do things that are unloving. They will fail us at times. But we must remember who they really are and not be swayed by our flesh to forget or to justify our feelings and giving free reign to the intensity of them. To every wife:
remember who your husband is.
