Our Words Are Powerful In Marriage


Our words are powerful; with them we can build our husbands up or tear them down.  Guest author Adrienne Servis shares her heart on the power of our words as wives.  She exposes the truth found in scripture about the power God gives us to speak life and change in our marriages.  Please share in the comments how your words affect your marriage, whether negatively or positively.  Also, let Adrienne know how she encouraged you today to be cautious with your words.

Adrienne writes:

When we think of a fire, we think very hot, able to burn, destroys.  The Bible says our tongue is like that.

Proverbs 18:21 states,

 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

In James 3:3-12 it says,

“When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”

Let me ask you this…

How many of you nag your husband or speak ill of him to others where his downfalls are?

“…and His incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength He exerted when He raised Christ from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.” – Ephesians 1:19-21

“…Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ…” – Romans 8:17 

We have the same power inside us that Jesus does. 

In Genesis it tells us God made us in His image.  It also tells us that everything God did He said and it was so.  If we are made just like God, and He had to speak everything into existence, then wouldn’t we need to also?

“…The God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not.” – Romans 4:17

That’s powerful. God gave us the ability to speak into being what we want according to His Word.

How many of us are constantly speaking what our husband is like (in the negative), what he is not doing as the spiritual leader of our home?

If we are speaking negative, we are speaking death.  We are creating exactly what we don’t want because we keep saying what we have.  So instead of saying what your husband isn’t doing, start saying what the Word says he should be doing or what he should be as a husband.

Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Think about this.

When your husband speaks unkindly to you how does it make you feel?

It makes him feel the same way.

Go back to Romans 4:17.  If we speak the Word concerning the areas that we know need change, for example: Ephesians 5: 25-29 tells us,

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.”

If that is how we want our husband to treat us, then every time he doesn’t we need to go to the other room and speak that scripture with his name next to husband.  We need to do what our God given right is through Christ Jesus.

How long do I keep speaking it? You might say.

We keep doing it until change happens.

I know it works as I’ve been doing it for 16 years.  I have rarely had to say a word to my husband.  God does it for me.  My challenge to you is to watch what you are saying and speak the Word only where your marriage is concerned.  See how quickly things change when you change your method and DO what God’s Word says.

– Adrienne Servis

Our Wedding Day

Bio:  Adrienne Servis is a wife of 16 years; a mother of three boys ages 14, 12, and 10. She is a stay at home mom who has home schooled for 10 years.  She has taught in the church in many areas including 11 years in children’s ministry.  She has taught ladies Bible studies both at church and at a homeless shelter and served in many other areas too.  She was General Manager of her friends Ministry for a year. She has gone to college and in her senior year the Lord moved her to Jerry Savelle’s Bible Institute, where she and her husband did two years of ministry training.  She has worked in the corporate world also for DuPont, PG & E, and more. Currently she is leading two online groups (Praying Wife and Praying Parent).  Her heart is for strong marriages and strong families!

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