When I received this article, I knew immediately that it was going to be published. This article is a very candid testimony of a wife and her husband finding freedom and hope in their marriage. Chris opens up about some very intimate issues with her husband, explaining how honesty kept them together!
I wanted to take this opportunity to share my testimony. Marriage is a subject that has become very dear to my heart because of some of the things my husband and I have walked through together. I truly believe that any marriage, no matter what the issues, can be saved if both parties will make an effort and let God guide their path.
My husband and I dated for four years before getting married. We were high school sweethearts and had never really dated anyone else. My senior year I felt the pressure of never “experiencing anything else” so we broke up for about three months. During that time I ended up dating a friend and being intimate with someone else for the first time. That relationship ended and soon after I discovered I was pregnant. I was devastated and felt like my whole life had gone down the drain. My husband and I ended up getting back together when I was four months pregnant. I couldn’t believe that he would want me and want to raise another man’s child, but he loved me and honestly didn’t care. We were married three weeks after graduation.
A couple of years into our marriage I knew we were in trouble. I felt trapped and like I had never had a chance to have a “real life.” I was barely 20, married, and had a child. I wasn’t getting what I needed emotionally or physically from my husband. Little did I know he was struggling with his own demons. He had become addicted to pornography. I was lonely and depressed. I ended up spending a lot of time with old friends and before I knew it I was in an adulterous relationship with my son’s biological father. I justified it because I told myself that my marriage was over and I was planning to leave. It was a horrible time in my life. I had always considered myself a very moral person. I was raised in church and I knew better. I couldn’t believe where I had ended up. I planned to move away and my husband and I discussed divorce. We both agreed that it was the best thing in our situation. He didn’t know about the affair and I was still unaware of his addiction. We just knew that our marriage was so broken that it would take a miracle to work it out.
My husband got before God and asked what he should do. I was running from God out of shame and didn’t want anything to do with God at this time. God spoke to him to follow me and move with me. He did and things slowly got better. I ended the affair and attempted to make my marriage work. We ended up moving home and getting back into church. For the first time in my life I really understood what the forgiveness Jesus gave us on the cross really meant. I had so much condemnation and guilt over what I had done I knew it would take a miracle to heal my heart. My husband and I found the strength to be honest one day on a drive alone in the mountains. We confessed our sins to each other and finally let down the walls we had built. It was one of the scariest things I have ever had to do but we both forgave each other and moved on fresh and new with Jesus Christ at the head of our marriage. I knew I had to finally let him in and not hold anything back from him for our marriage to work. It wasn’t easy for me, I had been hurt so much growing up, but I knew complete honestly and transparency would be our only hope!
This summer we will celebrate our 10 year anniversary. We have three beautiful children and are in leadership at our church. God has blessed us so much for our obedience. It wasn’t easy and I learned its harder to forgive yourself that it is to even forgive others that had hurt you. We have an amazing marriage and I now know that my husband is a gift from God in my life and I honor and respect him. With Jesus Christ as the head of your home and life, any marriage can be saved!
– Chris
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