Love is never boastful or proud. Love does not strut; it doesn’t have a swelled head. ~1 Corinthians 13
I would never confess to having a swelled head, but when I carefully inspect my life, my heart, and my motives, the sad truth is, I do. My pride can present itself in many ways, but it has taken up permanent residence in the areas of parenting and housework. I assume that my way is the only right way to do things and I give little regards to my husband’s preferences, desires, or suggestions.
Being a mom to five children (all five-years old or younger), we have a lot of sippy cups in our house. I am fully aware that you can mix and match the tops with the bottom, but the fact is, it just makes sense to have all the colors coordinate properly. Having the blue lid on the blue cup, and the green lid on the green cup is, to me, a little bit of order in this world of chaos. My husband, on the other hand, tends to think that you should grab the first lid and the first cup that you find and slap them together… colors, to him, are a non-factor.
I accepted his simple little way of unloading the dishwasher for a while, but after a few weeks the mix-matched colors were seriously grating on my nerves and I had an overwhelming desire to educate him on the proper way of putting the cups away. So, with a smile on my face, I told him, “For future reference: the green lid goes on the green cup and the blue lid goes on the blue cup.” All the while, not realizing that I communicated to him, “I have a swelled head because I think my way is better than your way.”
Over the summer, we took a family trip to an amusement park. In preparation, my husband bought all of our children new swim shoes so that they wouldn’t burn their little toes on the hot concrete near the pool. At the crowded park, we were in the hectic process of getting everyone ready when I noticed my husband struggling to get the new water shoes on my 16-month-old son. I quickly asked him if he needed my help – he shook his head but continued the struggle. After a while, with no success, my husband said,
“They only had 12-month shoes or 24-month shoes at the store… the 24-month ones just looked too big, but I guess I bought wrong.”
(In complete disgust) “WAIT! You bought him the 12-month shoes?”
“Yeah…”
(In the most-condescending voice) “Oh, I totally would have gotten the 24-month ones.”
Clearly, my husband was demonstrating humility by admitting that he bought the wrong size shoes, and I thought that would be an appropriate time to boastfully proclaim that I would have made the right choice.
Love is never boastful or proud. Love does not strut; it doesn’t have a swelled head. ~1 Corinthians 13
Then there are the hidden times when my swelled head is more a matter of my heart. I can be manipulative and controlling in order to communicate that I am right, and my husband is wrong. I can quickly assume the worst about my husband because I know his areas of weaknesses rather than focus on my sin.
I often have the mindset of, “I’ll change when he changes.” “I’ll apologize after he apologizes” “I’ll submit when he leads.”
Sadly, I do indeed have a swelled head. My pride hinders my marriage and distorts my ability to love my husband as 1 Corinthians 13 defines love. To be the wife God is calling me to be, I must put to death my arrogance in order to fully love my husband without assuming my way is automatically better than his.
Do you have any areas where you assume that your way is the best way? How would your husband answer that question?
