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13 Marriage Devotional: Pride

Cassidy
YouTube video player          CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO  OUR FREE MARRIAGE ENCOURAGEMENT PODCAST! Pride is one of the most destructive forces in marriage. It doesn’t always show up loudly. Sometimes it whispers through defensiveness, control, silent treatment, or the need to always be right. But whether loud or quiet, unchecked pride can slowly erode intimacy, unity, and trust. In our recent Marriage After God podcast episode, we talked about an uncomfortable truth: pride is a sin. It’s the root from which many other struggles in marriage grow. When we become more focused on protecting ourselves than loving each other, we’ve stepped into dangerous territory.  Pride often sounds like:
  • “My way is the right way.”
  • “I need to be understood before I can understand.”
  • “I won’t apologize until they admit they’re wrong.”
  • “I deserve better than this.”
Maybe you’ve thought those things. We have too. The Bible doesn’t take pride lightly. God places pride in the same category as violence and deceit. That should stop us in our tracks. Pride isn’t just a personality quirk — it’s something God actively opposes. James 4:6 says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” That verse is sobering. When we cling to pride, we are placing ourselves in opposition to God’s work in our hearts and in our marriages.  Pride also isolates. It keeps us on our “hill,” unwilling to move toward our spouse. It withholds affection, blocks reconciliation, and creates emotional distance. We’ve experienced this firsthand. When either of us refuses to humble ourselves, connection breaks down. But when one of us chooses humility — even when it’s hard — restoration begins. The example we’re called to follow is Jesus. Philippians 2 reminds us that Jesus humbled Himself even to the point of death. He didn’t wait for us to fix ourselves before loving us. He initiated reconciliation. That’s the model for marriage. Humility always moves first. Proverbs 11:2 says: “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” We’ve felt that disgrace — the regret after realizing we held onto pride instead of love. But we’ve also experienced the wisdom and peace that comes when we choose humility and say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong.” So what’s the antidote to pride in marriage?
  • Submit to God instead of insisting on your own way.
  • Invite the Holy Spirit to reveal hidden pride.
  • Consider your spouse’s needs above your own.
  • Choose self-sacrifice over self-protection.
  • Let love lead instead of ego.
As 1 Corinthians 13 says: “Love does not boast. It is not arrogant. It does not insist on its own way.” If pride is loving self above others, humility is loving others above self. Our challenge to you is simple: Identify one area where pride has taken root in your marriage — and let it go. Go to your spouse. Humble yourself. Choose love over winning. Because a humble marriage is a marriage God can heal, strengthen, and use for His glory.

Episode Summary

Episode Focus

Pride is one of the most destructive sins in marriage. In this episode, we expose how pride shows up in everyday marital conflict, why God opposes it, and how humility restores intimacy, unity, and peace.

1. Introduction to the Topic of Pride

  • Week 13 of the 30-Week Marriage Devotional Series
  • Pride described as a “base sin” that fuels other sins
  • Why pride must be addressed to protect marriage
  • Encouragement to use Husband After God and Wife After God devotionals

2. How Pride Commonly Shows Up in Marriage

  • “I’m right — you need to change”
  • Wanting control over decisions or situations
  • Criticism, manipulation, and defensiveness
  • Refusing to apologize or admit wrong
  • Withholding affection or giving the silent treatment
  • Keeping score of wrongs
  • Standing on “my hill” instead of pursuing unity

Key Idea: Pride isolates and blocks intimacy.

3. The Biblical Definition of Pride

  • Pride as self-exaltation and self-worship
  • Isaiah 14:12–15 — “I will, I will, I will”
  • Pride seeks God’s throne in the heart
  • Elevating self instead of exalting God

4. God’s Strong Warnings Against Pride

  • Proverbs 6:16–17 — God hates haughty eyes
  • James 4:6 — God opposes the proud, gives grace to the humble
  • Why pride puts us in opposition to God
  • Pride quenches the work of the Holy Spirit

5. Quotes from the Devotional

  • Pride as inflated self-opinion and self-deception
  • Pride’s goal is self-preservation, not love
  • Pride makes intimacy impossible
  • Humility opens connection

6. Additional Pride Postures in Marriage

  • Needing to be understood before understanding
  • Wanting to be right more than wanting to be close
  • Comparison, jealousy, and entitlement
  • Taking credit instead of sharing honor
  • Serving self instead of serving spouse

7. How Pride Destroys Marriages

  • Prevents loving service
  • Blocks reconciliation
  • Fuels bitterness and resentment
  • Creates emotional distance
  • Turns marriage into a power struggle
  • Leads to eventual relational breakdown

8. The Example of Christ’s Humility

  • Jesus humbled Himself first
  • Initiated reconciliation before we changed
  • Self-sacrifice as the model for marriage
  • Humility as the pathway to restoration

9. God’s Cure for Pride

Biblical Antidotes:

  • Humble yourself before the Lord (James 4:10)
  • Submit to God’s ways (James 4:7)
  • Keep in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:24–25)
  • Trust in the Lord, not your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5–6)
  • Consider others above yourself (Philippians 2:3–4)
  • Love that does not insist on its own way (1 Corinthians 13:4–5)

10. Practical Application & Reflection

  • Identify personal pride triggers
  • Recognize recent pride-driven conflict
  • Acknowledge where comparison or control shows up
  • Invite Holy Spirit conviction
  • Choose humility even when difficult

11. Weekly Challenge

  • Let go of one prideful stance
  • Go to your spouse first
  • Confess and seek reconciliation
  • Choose love over winning

12. Closing Encouragement

  • Pride brings disgrace, humility brings wisdom
  • God desires unity and peace in marriage
  • Humble marriages are marriages God can strengthen
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