I sat on the floor in front of one of my closest friends as she rocked her baby to sleep. She was sharing with me her journey with God and the things He was revealing to her. She also opened up about her issues with trust, especially with not being able to trust her husband…mostly because of the insecurities and instability from her childhood, her heart had a foundation of not being able to trust.
My heart sank when I heard her try to formulate sentences that described this inability to trust and how it was negatively affecting her marriage. My heart sank because I knew what she was describing. I had been there too.
My friend was sensitive and I wanted to respect her emotional space, but I had to ask the question:
Do you trust God?
I asked because when I realized I didn’t trust my husband and how hard it was to feel secure in my marriage, that is when God revealed to me my lack of trust in Him. Being able to recognize that, gave me the eyes to focus on how to fix my heart. The confrontation of that truth is a tough one, but once it is confronted, oh the freedom that is experienced and the healing that can then take place! And that is what I hoped for my friend.
So with tears in my eyes and hers, with hearts humbly and courageously confronting truth, I asked her:
Do you trust God?
She looked over her shoulder to consider the weight of the question and what her answer meant. Within seconds she shook her head and tears ran down her cheeks.
No. I don’t. But I want to.
I believe there are many people who walk with God and are in a personal growing relationship with Him, but don’t fully trust Him. We attend church, we participate in fellowship, praise and prayer, we live wisdom filled lives, yet we struggle to trust the One who we do it all for. It almost seems easy to be a Christian and to live a godly life where others see Jesus in you, then it is to be alone, at home, keeping so busy in order to avoid the hard stuff with God. I was one who did this and so was my friend. We are not alone.
Trust is a hard thing to give. I get it. Especially if our past has contributed to a guarded heart. However, you will not be able to experience the fullness of intimacy with God without trusting Him.
Trust: belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc. Trust is assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. Trust is one in which confidence is placed. Trust is dependence on something future.
Do you trust God?
Do you believe He is reliable and honest?
Do you believe He is good and that His Word is truth?
Do you have confidence in His ability to take care of you?
Do you believe that your future is in eternity with Him?
Do you trust Him with your whole heart?
In order to know God intimately, for Him to reveal truth to you, to do His will and fulfill the purpose He created you for, you need to trust Him. You need to allow Him into the deepest places in your heart. You need to have confidence that He is near and that He is your refuge and hope.
If you don’t trust God, but you have a longing too, I want to encourage you to start with prayer. Let God know how you feel. Ask Him to help you trust Him. Then, stop trying to control every detail of your life (you will go crazy trying anyways) and have confidence that He can and will lead you. Let go of your past hurts, confront them if you need to in order to find healing. Let God build you a new foundation, one in which allows you to trust Him and trust your husband.
For the word of the Lord is upright,
and all his work is done in faithfulness. – Psalm 33:4
I want you to know….You CAN trust Him!
Dear God,
I pray for the woman who doesn’t trust You. I pray she is able to let go of the past and the wounds that have prevented her from trusting You. I pray for complete healing. I pray for courage to confront what is necessary so that she can experience deep intimacy with You. Help her trust You to guide her life and marriage. Break up the foundation in her heart that has kept you at arm’s length and build her a new foundation where she can trust You and trust her husband in Jesus’ name AMEN!