Love Is Kind
Kindness is that warm-hearted motivation that leads one to be nice to others. It is tenderness, understanding, and consideration. Kindness is generosity. To be kind is selflessly aware and willing to help others.
I found this graphic on Pinterest the other day that explained what kindness is in a beautiful way.
Sometimes in marriage we do things for our spouse expecting acknowledgement or appreciation. Those expectations can lead to resentment when we do something and our spouse does not acknowledge or say thank you. The build up of resentment will keep us from wanting to do those things again for our spouse in the future.
To protect our marriages from the crushing effects of resentment we need to be kind. We need to be kind without expectations!
I have experienced first hand how expectations cripple marriage. I would be motivated by my love for my husband to serve him, to give him gifts, and to spend time cleaning up after him. However, when my husband didn’t acknowledge my efforts to bless him and neglected to thank me, I lost my desire to continue serving him. I allowed resentment and bitterness to fill my heart, steal my joy, and I purposefully avoided being kind. Why? Because my expectations were not met and that hurt me.
After time and time again of both my husband and I doing this to each other, we realized we were not motivated by our love for each other. We had to re-evaluate our marriage and change how we were treating each other. We had to learn how to be kind!
One of the greatest examples of kindness that ever walked this Earth is Jesus. Throughout the New Testament there are so many stories of Jesus showing kindness to people. Here are just a few examples:
- Woman at the well {John 4:1-42}
- Woman and adultery {John 8:1-11}
- Woman sick for 12 years {Mark 5:21-43}
Jesus took time to love people, feed people, teach people, heal people, and just talk with people. He valued people no matter who they were, what illness they suffered from, or what their job description was. His kindness was shown through His actions. And when people came to Him and interrupted him to ask for healing, He would take the time to listen to them and heal them.
Do we allow for our husband’s to interrupt us?
Are we kind to our husbands without expectations of receiving anything in return?
Are we kind like Jesus?
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32
“And as for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:13
Random acts of kindess are awesome ways of showing others love. The basic idea behind random acts of kindness is that you would surprise someone with kindness by fulfilling a need they had, affirming them, encouraging them or giving them a gift. This is done without expectation of anything in return and is motivated by love. Here is a short list of random acts of kindness a wife can do for her husband:
- Write him a note of encouragement
- Surprise him with a date night
- Get him a gift of something he needs
- Gift him his favorite snack
- Affirm him in the presence of others
The Challenge:
Do random acts of kindness for your husband. Find ways to encourage him, affirm him, or lend him some help.
Prayer:
Dear Lord,
Thank you for my husband. Thank you for the gift of marriage and the gift of love. I pray that I can be kind to my husband. May your Holy Spirit teach me how to be aware of my husband’s needs and willing to help him. Show me how to be kind in my words and my actions. I ask that you inspire me with creative ways to do random acts of kindness for my husband. Please help me not to get my feelings hurt if he doesn’t acknowledge my efforts or thank me. I desire to bless my husband regardless if I get anything in return. Lord, transform my heart and fill me with kindness in Jesus name AMEN!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13 : 4-8
Questions to discuss in the comments:
Do you get your feelings hurt when you do something for your husband and he does not acknowledge it?
What are some random acts of kindness you can do for your husband?