As soon as I said it… I regretted it.
I had been chit-chatting with a neighbor when our topic turned towards marriage. We began to share secrets for getting our spouses to do what we want. At that moment I didn’t speak out against manipulation, but instead I shared how stubborn I can become in order to get my way. I spoke unkindly about my husband and dishonored our marriage.
As soon as I said it… I regretted it.
The dinner standoff had been intense. It was my four-year-old against the rest of the family… and he was winning. My husband handled the situation differently than I would have and instead of respecting him as the leader of our family by deferring to his suggestions, I quickly criticized him in front of the children.
As soon as I said it… I regretted it.
I let out a long, overdramatic sigh as I went to pick up our screaming newborn. Upon hearing my audible objection, my husband offered to help, but I refused. I martyred myself as I snapped at my husband and clearly told him that he does not do enough around this house and dramatically declared that I have to do it all.
When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. ~Proverbs 10:19
Like a tube of toothpaste with its contents squeezed out onto the counter, my words are also un-retractable. For the sake of conversation or fitting in with others, I can railroad my husband with my words. When speaking to my spouse, I assume that my emotions justify my sharp tongue. I frequently speak before I think which leads me regretting what I’ve said.
Our words must be preceded by caution because they can crush and demoralize or they can exalt and build up. Scripture says out of our tongue can come life or death (Proverbs 18:21). If I’m not consciously guarding my tongue, then I am opening myself up to a plethora of temptations that (more often than not) I cannot withstand. I don’t want to live a life of regrets, and I certainly don’t want to be a wife who belittles her husband with her words.
Regardless of whether he was deserving or not, I have never once regretted the times I have spoken highly about or kindly to my husband.
It makes sense to be a wife who is kind and offers restraint in my words, but that requires discipline, forethought, accountability, and intentionality. As difficult as that seems, I must choose that route if I want to stop feeling remorse over my choice of words.
Have you ever regretted something you said to (or about) your husband?