Dear Alvin,
If I could write you a thousand apologies I most certainly would. I would change everything negative into positive. I have been so selfish, trying to hurt you the way you have hurt me. I realize how empty my life is without you in it. I wasn’t thinking about your heart and your happiness, I was only concerned with what I can do to hurt you and I accomplished that goal.
You tried what you could to make me happy these past few months. You tried counseling, but I laughed in your face. You tried praying, but I said God doesn’t hear a liar. I wasn’t a God fearing woman anymore, but instead I was this sinful woman.
I contacted the preacher and I apologized to him for the way I acted when you tried to make our marriage work. I told him that if I had the opportunity to sit in his office again with you that I would. I told him that if I could just have you I would for I don’t know how long. I would call you every hour to tell you I love you. I would go fishing and hunting with you like you wanted me to. I would have watched movies with you. I would have prayed with you and for you and us. I took those things for granted thinking you would still be here like I was for you through all the things you put me through.
I wasn’t thinking that God will see us through if I trusted in Him too.
Now I’m alone and I wake up to you gone.
I can’t tell you how I feel when I wake up and I can’t kiss you good morning, I can’t watch you get yourself ready for work and smell your cologne, I can’t fuss at you about wanting to touch on me all the time.
I lost that because you’re divorcing me and now it hurts my soul. I hurt you and I’m so sorry, please forgive me. My love letter to you is that you pray daily and you let nothing bring you down. You forgive others and you pray for them like you did for me. The pain I feel could never replace the pain I gave you. God isn’t happy with me at all. And that’s something I must deal with. I love you always and never forget that.
Love, Your Wife.
