Dear Josh,
I know I’ve told you everything already, but I feel like I need to tell you again. I was born into such a broken family, and it nearly broke me too. On the outside, my family went to church and was pretty normal. The inside, though, was rampant with abuse, disrespect, and pain.
By the time I was a young adult, I was so angry at the world that I couldn’t see straight. I hated men. I looked at them and only saw my abusive, violent stepfather. I hated everyone who really did have a normal, non-abusive family. I hated how they took it for granted.
Most of all, though, I hated God. How could He allow me to live in a family like that for so long?
When I met you, I’m sure some part of me hated you too. As we grew closer and began to fall in love, I started feeling the urge to push you away. I tried to demonize you in my mind, tried to find some reason to justify dumping you and moving on. I was waiting for some monster to jump out of you. I looked for reasons to fall back on my old, familiar anger.
Luckily, though, you wouldn’t let me. When I scanned every inch of you, I found nothing but kindness and love. When I remembered my past and nearly had a breakdown, you held me until I could stand again. When I tried my best to push you away, you quietly stayed and waited until I came back.
Through it all, God delivered me out of my hellish situation and into a blessed life with you. Before I even realized it, He was moving and working behind the curtain. I had given up on Him a long time ago, but He wasn’t giving up on me.
I never would have known that if it hadn’t been for you. You showed me the true kindness, love, and compassion that encompasses God’s character. I know He used you to remind me what He is really like.
So, thank you for saving me. Thank you for loving me through the pain. Thank you for being my best friend, my partner in crime, and my other half. Thank you for being the greatest blessing I’ve ever had.
Love, Kayla
