The last few days have been very overwhelming for me. The cause of my anxiety was revealed to me early this morning, and I shamefully admit that it revolves around money.
My husband and I have been waiting eagerly for his check to come through. Our funds were running low… very low... and the thought of not having enough money for the week was looming over my head like a dark storm cloud.
The fear I had well up inside of me was seeping out. Randomly during the last few days people around me would ask if I was ok. They sensed my beat was off. I assured them that I was fine, blaming most of my flustered appearance on pregnancy.
Could they see through that?
Was my panic visible, even if I do not say exactly what I am consumed by?
This morning I woke up as my husband got ready for work. The first thing that popped into my mind was to ask him, “Did your check come through?”
“Yes.” He responded.
I mumbled with a quick sigh of relief, “Thank Jesus!”
As I got up for the day and drove my husband to the train station I recognized the relief I had. I also realized joy had flooded my heart, and my attitude was more chipper. I mentally evaluated my obvious change in mood compared to the previous few days… the only thing that has changed was the amount in our bank account.
Finances had stole my joy!
I suddenly felt ashamed that I had allowed my feelings of worry dictate my perspective, my attitude, and my responses towards others, especially my husband.
“I am sorry babe, for not trusting in God to provide for us. I am sorry for allowing fear to control me and bring me down.”
He forgave me.
Finances in marriage can be a very challenging area to grow in. I am still learning how to process my emotions during more difficult circumstances, while still trusting in God. I know He designed me to have these emotions, but I also know that He does not want me to live according to them… He wants me to live by faith.
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. – Hebrews 11:1
A great quote from Lysa TerKeurst’s book Unglued is one that I must remember often being so sensitive to my emotions.
“Feelings should be indicators, not dictators.” (87)
Overcoming financial stress in marriage can be so painful, hair-pulling-heart-exploding-yell-at-the-top-of-your-lungs-painful!
Finances are among the number one reasons married couples fight and some relationships sadly even end in divorce. The only way to overcoming financial stress in marriage is if you and your spouse submit your finances to God, trusting Him in all circumstances, even down to your last few bucks! Having faith that He will provide for your family!
So I am curious and I need your opinions…
Are Finances Stealing Your Joy?
Does your attitude get swayed by the statement of your bank account?
How do you manage your emotions or fears when your funds get low?
Please share in the comments below, along with any wise financial tips!