But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22-23
The fruit of the Spirit comes up often in our home. Not only do my husband and I desire to grow in these awesome characteristics, we are also teaching them to our young children. As my husband and I were chatting about these characteristics the other day, and throwing around ideas to celebrate Valentine’s Day, we came up with a fun list of themed date nights that will reflect the fruit of the Spirit!
I listed our ideas for you and included a few conversation questions you and your spouse can use to talk about that specific fruit on your date! If you do one or all of these, please come back and tell me how it went!
**Also, I assumed couples would break this list up into different date nights, but I suppose if you are really brave and creative you could possibly find a way to incorporate every aspect into one extraordinary date night! Enjoy!
Love
Love is an easy one and it is expected to be a highlight of every other date you ever have! The idea for this specific date night is to be over-the-top romantic. Make a list of how you can be ultra, mushy-gushy romantic in ways your spouse will appreciate and strive to hit everything on the list. Just a few fun ideas, grab a few bouquets of flowers, light up some candles, make your guy’s favorite dinner, and of course 2-3 desserts! Set the mood! Go big and go bold.
Conversation:
Why is being romantic important for cultivating intimacy in our marriage?
In what ways do I make you feel most loved?
Joy
When I think of joy, I think of smiling and even laughing. Get tickets to a comedy show, go see a comedy movie or a local play (live performances usually guarantee a few laughs if its the right play!). If you are more of a physical couple go to a trampoline park or skating. Be sure to come prepared with a joke or two to share. Focus on the joy of life and marriage.
Conversation:
How can we have joy even in the midst of hardship?
Why is it important to have joy?
Peace
Take your spouse to the spot that brings you the most peace and share with your spouse what about it brings you peace. It can be outdoors, indoors, anywhere! The goal here is to unplug from the distractions of technology and provide yourselves with a serene environment where you can feel peace.
Conversation:
What can I do to bring more peace to our home?
Are you addicted to technology? If so, is it affecting your ability to feel peace?
Patience
You will need to exercise patience with this one! Get up early and find a good spot to watch the sunrise. If scheduling is an issue, watch a sunset together. Be still, rest with each other, and know that God is with you! This would be a great time to pray with one another, especially that you would have patience with each other in the every day moments life brings.
Conversation:
Are there specific times where I lack patience with you?
In what area of my life do you think I need to be able to slow down?
Kindness
This date requires you both to work together to do something kind for someone else. Come up with a dessert to make (Apple pie, cake, cookies) make a list of ingredients, then spend time in your kitchen baking. You can’t leave the kitchen until its time to gift the dessert to the person you choose. Fill your time together with conversation, prayer, or dancing. Stay off your phones and enjoy being in each other’s presence. If you don’t want to bake, you could also consider building something, or buying a gift to fulfill a need for someone, but same rules apply, enjoy the experience together.
Conversation:
In what ways can I bless you with kindness?
Is there a time in the past I showed you kindness that stuck with you?
Goodness
My first thought on this is to experience “The Good Stuff” which is dessert. Go on a progressive date night. Choose 3 different restaurants to go to and try a dessert at each one. During your date, talk about all the good things you see in each other and the good things God is doing in your life and marriage.
Conversation:
What good things have you experienced in our marriage?
What good things do you see in me?
Faithfulness
This next one is a little interesting. I got the idea from a conversation we had with Jeremy and Audrey Roloff, founders of Beating 50 Percent. This date night can start out any way you desire, but it ends with sexual intimacy. Here is the catch…either just before or during at some point, recite your marriage vows to one another. This exercise is an experience of oneness, both physically and emotionally. You will be showing and verbalizing your faithfulness to one another. If you want, you can use this date to also write out new vows!
Conversation:
Why is remembering our vows significant?
What are you believing in faith (believing without seeing Hebrews 11:1) for me?
Gentleness
I immediately thought of touch for this one! Schedule a couples massage at a local spa or set the mood and get your oils/lotion ready and spend time massaging each other. Focus on gentleness and how it physically affects your body in a positive way.
Conversation:
How can I be more gentle with you?
What do other people think of our relationship when they see you being gentle toward me?
Self-control
Ok my husband came up with this one. Exercise self-control by intentionally initiating physical intimacy, but you can only experience foreplay. The goal here is to have self-control with your body while focusing on pleasuring your spouse, and vice versa. The other idea that I had, which you can incorporate as the date before this intimacy happens is target practice or playing a favorite sport, something that will require you to having your body be in self-control.
Conversation:
In what area of your life do you need more self-control?
How can I help encourage you in these areas?