While this idea may be completely foreign to us, men tend to seek respect and affirmation and women tend to seek companionship and love. Statistics show that 3 out of 4 men would rather feel unloved than disrespected. (Love & Respect, Eggerichs)
In our love-dominated society, it is portrayed that love should be unending and respect is something to be earned. However, the Bible says in Ephesians 5, that husbands should love their wives, and wives should respect their husbands {although, we tend give our spouse what we want, instead of what they need}.
With this, I believe that marriage is about putting your spouse first, and that means making a choice to honor, trust and respect him. And this means not just knowing in your heart that you respect him, but showing it. Think about it, if your hubby never told you “I love you”, you would not be a happy girl. You want to hear it and feel it.
So, what are practical ways to show respect to our spouse?
1. Respect his decisions: In other words, respect his opinions and honor his choices. In no way am I saying to be a “trophy wife” with no opinions, but I am saying that backing them 150% affirms their knowledge and shows them that you are on their side. {This is the hard part}. The easier part is asking for their opinion or highlighting an area of expertise they have in front of others. For example: You know your man knows a lot about fixing a sink or about the best places to eat in town. Brag that he always picks the most awesome places and that he is Mr. fix-it.
2. Respect his capabilities: We all know the joke that men NEVER ask for directions. This falls in line with respecting your hubby’s abilities. Is he trying to configure your new computer? Don’t tell him he should read the directions. Affirm that you have confidence in him and help him in any way you can. I think many times we don’t realize how “little” things can mean so much to them. It’s really saying that we trust them and that we have faith in them.
3. Respect his words: {this is a big one} Communication is often called the key to marriage. Our words really do have the power to build our husband up or tear him down. Think of the term “its not what you say, but how you say it”. For example, the disposal isn’t working, your husband wants to try to fix it first, but you immediately say “why don’t you call someone, that’s really not your thing”. Your words could be completely innocent, but they could demoralize your husband.
Also, rev up your filter. Really think about how you word questions to your husband and who you are asking them in front of. For example, men tend to answer things differently in front of their male friends. Guys love competing with each other and don’t want to be embarrassed in front of other men.
4. Respect his intentions: Instead of assuming that he needs to be reminded, or doesn’t want to help you; assume the best. “Always assume the best and you will find it easier to show respect”. We have the power to use our moments to show how much we value our spouse, how much we trust them, and how much we “love” them through respect.