This week on the Marriage After God podcast we share fears that my wife and I experienced as we were about to have our 4th child and e had to learn to deal with those fears godly and biblically. We know that many marriages experience these same fears just as we did and whether you are thinking about having your first child or you are about to have your 2nd, 3rd, 4th or… we can have doubts and questions. Our prayer is that all of us can learn to walk out these seasons through the Spirit and the Word and without fear.
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children[a] of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” – Psalm 127:3-5
The 3 fears of a growing family we cover include:
- Fear of not being able to handle more than what I am already doing.
- Fear of missing out with the children we already have.
- Fear of losing my already limited “me” time.
I know there are so many other fears that could come with a growing family such as not having enough finances or your body changing…however, how we navigate fears through God’s Word can apply to those as well! The point of this episode is to encourage husbands and wives to not let fears overcome you, rather go to God’s Word and be in prayer about them.
Have you ever been fearful of having more children or even having your first? You are not alone! God created humans with the ability to fear and it happens all the time. We just can’t let fear control us! Our heart is to walk alongside you in this journey as we are also learning how to have a biblical mindset of children and parenting.
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READ THE TRANSCRIPT
Aaron Smith: Hey, we’re Aaron and Jennifer Smith with Marriage After God.
Jennifer Smith: Helping you cultivate an extraordinary marriage.
Aaron Smith: And today we’re going to be talking about fears of a growing family and how to combat them biblically.
Jennifer Smith: Before we get started today, because this topic is kind of surrounded around a growing family and having kids, I wanted to share that we do have resources for parents called 31 Prayers for My Son and for My Daughter, and these are great resources for you to pray over your children. There are 31 prayers in each book talking about different topics in the child’s life, and there’s, also, journal pages, so that after each prayer you can just make it more personal, and we’ve had some positive feedback about these resources. Parents are really loving them, so make sure you get a copy.
First off, I just want to thank everyone for joining us today listening, and we want to encourage you to grab your Bibles, so that as we go through scripture, you can participate.
Aaron Smith: So the first thing we’re going to do before we start talking about these fears that a lot of us grow through in our marriages as we start growing our family with children is I just want to go straight to scripture and read God’s word about fear in our lives, and this is in Second Timothy. This is Paul talking to Timothy and encouraging him in his ministry and he says, “For God gave us a spirit, not of fear, but of power, and love, and self-control.”
So I just want to start off as we go into this idea of the fears that we all experience, and explain that God has given us, just like He’s given Timothy, just like Paul reminds Timothy, He hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of love, power, and self-control.
The second verse I want to start us off with is in Psalms 127, and I just want to give a biblical godly perspective on children, and in Psalms, the psalmist writes, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb, a reward. Like arrows in the hand of the warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”
So God’s perspective in this one verse, there’s hundreds of verses that talk about who children are to us and to God, is that they are a heritage, is that they’re a blessing. That they’re a weapon wielded in the hands of parents for His purposes.
Jennifer Smith: I’m so glad that we started with those two verses, because I think above all else it’s so important to remember what God’s perspective and heart is toward children, so that as we move forward and navigate through these fears, how do we remember what God believes is true about a growing family.
Aaron Smith: And as we always say to the Christian marriages out there, that a Marriage After God founds their marriage on the Bible, on the word of God. We don’t do it in our feelings. We don’t operate in our opinions. We don’t operate in our ideas. What we try and do, to the best of our abilities through the spirit that God’s put in us, is we run to the word of God.
So as we talk through these fears that we’re dealing with right now, our way of dealing with them is the word of God, and so that’s why we encourage you to have your Bible, and as we go through these fears that we’re going to bring up right now, we’re going to try and find scripture to combat those fears.
Jennifer Smith: So, Aaron, you walked us through those two scriptures, which again were very powerful, and they’re ones that I’m actually really familiar with, but how do we look at our lives and use those scriptures to encourage us in a practical way?
Aaron Smith: So the first practical thing, the Bible tells us to meditate on God’s word, and that word meditate, it comes from this idea of like a cow chewing cud, and as we chew it, we mull it over, and over, and over again, and we continue to bring it up and remind ourselves of it, and we go back to it over, and over, and over again. We don’t just hear it one time, and then all of a sudden, oh, that’s just in my heart and I’ve got it forever. That might happen in some cases, but for the most part, like for you, you have to be reminded.
Jennifer Smith: Yeah.
Aaron Smith: Especially when you’re going through hormone changes, because you’re going through hormone changes, and that can feel totally chaotic. And so instead of just trying to address the symptoms, you need to change the way you’re thinking, which is how I tend to approach you.
Jennifer Smith: Sometimes.
Aaron Smith: Which is not always effective. But meditating on scripture, so when we’re in those moments of the things that we’re specifically going to talk about, we go back to those scriptures and we’re like, “Well, I’m thinking this way and I feel this way, but this is the truth,” and I just need to remind myself of that, even though it doesn’t feel like the truth.
Jennifer Smith: That’s good. So even having maybe these scriptures written out on hand, so that they’re next to your bed stand, or in the kitchen window.
Aaron Smith: Or on our chalkboard right over there.
Jennifer Smith: Or on a chalkboard in your house somewhere. I think that would be really encouraging for those listening to know that a very practical way of being reminded of these scriptures is to just put them in front of you.
Aaron Smith: Yeah. Have them in hand and memorize them.
Jennifer Smith: So one of the reasons why I really wanted to talk about this topic today, about fears of a growing family, is because this is exactly where we’ve been for the last month. I am almost into the second trimester of our fourth baby. We’re so excited about that, and I’ve just been wrestling with having some fears about our family getting a little bit bigger, and I don’t know for those of you listening if you guys have jumped in and had any kids yet, or maybe you’re on two or three, maybe some of you are on six or seven like some of our friends, but I know that some of these fears that we’re going to talk about are super relatable, and so hopefully, it’s encouraging for you to hear what we’re going to talk about today.
Aaron Smith: So why don’t you share with us some fears that you’re going through right now, because although we learned from scripture in Second Timothy that we don’t have the spirit of fear, when hormones rise up, when your body starts changing, when you start realizing the logistics of the day and you have an overwhelming morning, they come up, and it’s our job to navigate that with God.
Jennifer Smith: Yeah. A lot of the things that I’ve been wrestling with is feeling like I can’t handle it. I can’t manage my home or keep up with the demands of all of the dishes, or feeding everyone, or keeping up with the laundry, and just little things like that.
Aaron Smith: Wiping the crud off the floor after meals.
Jennifer Smith: Yeah. From our youngest spilling food on the floor. Yes. So having to meet all those demands of the day, and then looking to our future and we’re going to be having another baby being added to the picture, and it just feels overwhelming. That’s just one fear that I’ve been wrestling with.
Aaron Smith: So you’re talking about not being able to handle it, that just the demands of the day, of life-
Jennifer Smith: Feeling exhausted emotionally, and mentally, physically.
Aaron Smith: Which are real things, because your body has limitations.
Jennifer Smith: Especially when I am pregnant again.
Aaron Smith: Exactly. And your home has limitations and your time has limitations. The thing that I immediately thought of is acknowledging the weakness, because moms out there, look at any Instagram about moms.
Jennifer Smith: We want to be superheroes.
Aaron Smith: Superhero. Like you’re the superhero mom and you’re like, “Oh, my gosh, she’s got a beautiful Instagram feed, and her home is always perfect, and her kids are beautiful, and wonderful, and act perfectly all the time,” and that’s just not reality. I think you might have an expectation of yourself that isn’t a real expectation, and since you can’t live up to it, it hurts.
Jennifer Smith: It does hurt.
Aaron Smith: And it breaks you, and it makes you feel more emotional and like a failure. So one thing the husbands can be doing is reminding your wives that they are great, and that the things you’re doing are wonderful, and you don’t have to do everything perfectly.
Another thing we should be doing as husbands is cultivating an environment in the home where we’re helping. I can’t help all the time, because I have a job. Many husbands, they have full time jobs, and a lot of moms might have jobs, also. That might be adding to the stress, also. But cultivating an environment you know you’re helped, and I remember reminding you this morning even when you were dealing with this, I said, “Babe, I’m here with you, also.”
Jennifer Smith: Yeah.
Aaron Smith: You don’t need to feel like you have to do it on your own. But the weakness part of this, it reminds me of this scripture of when Paul, in Second Corinthians, is talking about a thorn that’s been given to him in his side. It’s either an ailment or someone who is pestering him, and we don’t know exactly what it is. He never said exactly what it is, but Paul tells us the torment that this thorn is causing him, and this is what God’s word to him was about this weakness.
In Second Corinthians, chapter 12, verse 9 it says, “But he, God, said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'” And then it goes on to say, “Paul says, ‘Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.'”
And so reminding ourselves of it’s okay to be weak. We’re human. Weakness is a part of who we are. We’re in this weak flesh that has cravings, and desires, and hormones, and brokenness, but we have a Savior and we have a God that’s given us His Holy Spirit, that we can actually operate in His strength, and that actually when we recognize our weakness and we humble ourselves, we actually can glorify Him and His strength.
And Paul says, “I’ll boast all the more gladly of my weakness.” So my wife can actually say, “Recognizing that I can’t do all of this reminds me of my need for God, and His peace, and His comfort, and that I need to run to Him,” because did you run to Him in those times when you feel the most weak?
Jennifer Smith: Not always.
Aaron Smith: Is that your first-
Jennifer Smith: It’s not usually my first-
Aaron Smith: No. But that’s what God wants, is He wants us … It’s not my first thing. I usually go to my own strength and my own, “Oh, I’m going to get some consulting.” I don’t run to Him first. I don’t follow my faith and say, “Okay, Lord, I cannot do this today.”
Jennifer Smith: I feel like we continue to keep ourselves trying and striving for that ideal of perfection or expectation that we’ve placed on ourselves, that we don’t slow down enough to do this is what you’re saying.
Aaron Smith: Right. And that idea that we can recognize our own weaknesses and our own limitations … You remember a long time ago on our road trip, or actually we were driving up to the mountains, and we were talking about just time, and strength, and energy.
Jennifer Smith: I was telling you how frustrated I am, because there’s all these things that I want to do, and you told me-
Aaron Smith: And that was so long ago. You’re right back there.
Jennifer Smith: I am.
Aaron Smith: But I explained, I said being human, we’re limited. We can only hold so much weight up. We can only speak so many words. We only have so many hours in a day. We can only stay awake so long, that if we want to accomplish something over here, then there inevitably will have to be other things that will have to be laid aside.
Jennifer Smith: Yeah.
Aaron Smith: It’s just the reality. So a good example of this is if we want to have … Let’s say you want to spend quality time with all your kids, right.
Jennifer Smith: Then we should probably go.
Aaron Smith: There might have to be some dishes in the sink, and I’m going to be honest personally, I would rather you spend some quality time with our kids.
Jennifer Smith: I think that’s really important to acknowledge real quick, just so that people listening can understand this. So understanding each other’s expectations of what we’re called to do in the home, so knowing that, knowing that you’re okay with dishes okay in the sink helps me understand that I can spend that time with the kids, and I don’t have to rush to go do the dishes in order to please you. Ultimately we need to understand-
Aaron Smith: Or please yourself, because you could easily see a clean house as the most important thing for the day and drop the ball on the children.
Jennifer Smith: Right.
Aaron Smith: And then you still might feel like a failure at the end of the day.
Jennifer Smith: Yeah.
Aaron Smith: You have a clean house and kids that are vying for attention.
Jennifer Smith: So I do want to encourage those listening that it’s really important for a husband and wife to vision together, and to talk about expectations, and figure out what are priorities for your family.
Aaron Smith: And this brings me back again to a husband cultivating a safe environment in the home. If you come home from work and you’re bothered that the dishes are dirty, yet your wife had spent all day with your children and had taught them, and loved them, and fed them, and took care of them, and took them on trips, and did play dates, then you might be-
Jennifer Smith: Do you let the dishes go or clean them?
Aaron Smith: Or clean them, or find a time to give her time to herself. If she likes to take care of the house, and just take the kids and you go spend time with the kids, and let her have an hour or two to herself to do what she wants.
Jennifer Smith: Yeah.
Aaron Smith: I know that sometimes you just want to clean the house.
Jennifer Smith: Yeah. There’s a lot of times.
Aaron Smith: Like, “Hey, Aaron, go play with the kids. I want to just clean.”
Jennifer Smith: Yeah. Especially because I like the way that I do it, and so I can be thorough.
Aaron Smith: And since we’re a team, I should be like, “Deal. I’ll take the kids. We’re going to go to the park. We’re going to go for a drive. We’re going to be gone. You won’t hear from us.”
But husbands, cultivating an environment that’s healthy and safe for your wife, the mother of your children, because if she feels like you expect her to be everything, perfect for you, perfect for her kids, perfect for your home, you’re going to break her, and this is something I had to learn and we, also, have to balance, but it, also, takes communication, talking through these things.
Jennifer Smith: And as we’re talking about fears of the growing family, when those conversations come up where you guys are talking about maybe growing your family, you need to be honest with yourselves and know that your wife might have fears of I can’t do all the demands of the home if we bring another child into the world, because I already can’t do it.
Aaron Smith: Right. Because if you’re a husband that is just absent and you get home, turn that TV on, get into your video games. Hopefully you’re not playing video games. But, yeah, you just check out when you get home, and you expect dinner to be ready, and you just view your home time as your sanctuary time, and your wife just keeps going 24/7, I wouldn’t want to have your kids either.
Jennifer Smith: That’s harsh.
Aaron Smith: I’m just being honest. But that’s the kind of men we need to be.
Jennifer Smith: If you want to have a marriage after God and one that’s free from fears of a growing family, I think it’s really important to talk about expectations, and to be a team when considering what things around the house need to be done when you do have little kids running around, and you want to spend that time with them or do things that are a priority in your family.
Aaron Smith: Yeah. So you shared with us that you feel like you can’t handle it, which is a totally normal and common feeling because of everything in life. What’s something else that just wells up in you, just it’s those emotions, those feelings. What else was coming up in your today?
Jennifer Smith: So another one was a fear of missing already.
Aaron Smith: FOMO.
Jennifer Smith: Yeah, FOMO.
Aaron Smith: I have that all the time.
Jennifer Smith: All the time with friends.
Aaron Smith: With everything.
Jennifer Smith: Yeah. I have a fear of missing out with my children, the ones that we already have. So we already have three, and I see them growing up, and every day I’m just amazed by them and I just feel like there’s been certain seasons where I was either pregnant or had morning sickness, where I did miss out a little bit. Post-partum with Wyatt, that was another one, where I felt like I was missing out with Elliott and Olive a little bit. And so I don’t want to miss anything in their lives. I just don’t. One of my fears is if we have another child, what else am I going to be missing with them?
Aaron Smith: Right.
Jennifer Smith: That maybe I wouldn’t have if we didn’t have a growing family.
Aaron Smith: And that’s a totally legitimate fear that people have. It’s not unfounded. You just look at numbers, you look at time. We just talked about this, how we’re limited creatures. We’re not infinite. We’re finite. But what we need to do is we need to change our perspective on things. That’s what this whole video is about, is perspective. If the perspective is unless we can spend equal amount of time with every single child, then we’re not going to be giving them what they need, I think is inaccurate, and this is a personal opinion, but I do feel like there’s a level of … If that’s the case, then let’s just have one kid, because they can get all of our love.
But in reality, the love and experience that we want our kids to have, our oldest, it’s going to be inevitable that he learns that the world doesn’t revolve around him. It’s inevitable that he’s going to learn that he has other responsibilities. So where you want to spend time with our oldest, Elliott, but you, also, want to spend time with Olive, and Wyatt, and then the new baby, well, Elliott needs to learn how to spend time with his siblings, and they need to learn how to have alone time and play well with each other.
Jennifer Smith: This is true. One thing that I’ve been noticing lately in our relationships with our kids is we’ve been teaching them a lot about how to walk in the spirit and the fruit of the spirit, and so having siblings does give them the opportunity to learn compassion, and learn kindness, and learn sharing, and gentleness, and love, and all of that.
Aaron Smith: Well, and responsibility.
Jennifer Smith: Responsibility. How they participate in the family.
Aaron Smith: Yeah. We can easily recognize just the spiritual state of our son, that he does feel like he’s not getting as much as he used to from us, as much attention. So a couple of things happen. We can recognize that and make sure that we’re being extra intentional with him, right, which we do and we try to do, and sometimes we drop the ball, of course.
But then we can, also, find other ways of redirecting, because he’s craving attention from us, but usually that’s a craving that God’s wanting, right, and so we can slowly start teaching him about that desire that he has for that relationship, and that he’s not going to always get it from us, and that mom isn’t the only person to get energy from, and all those feelings met and those needs met. Because what’s going to happen is one, two, three, four, five kids, however many kids we have, if every single one of them think that they’re owed that same exact amount of attention from you, what are we teaching them, and can you possibly ever fulfill that?
Jennifer Smith: No.
Aaron Smith: No.
Jennifer Smith: And we’re essentially teaching them to have that same perspective toward God. They’re going to expect that same perspective of God owes me this or that, or I deserved that.
Aaron Smith: Yeah. They’re going to look at Joe over here … They’ll look at so and so has been given so much, and have this ministry and, “He hasn’t given me that,” and that’s just the wrong perspective. The Bible actually tells us that the entire body is knit together as one unit, and then it says that the lesser parts of the body are glorified, and the greater parts of the body are brought low for the sake of equality. So giving him a perspective that he actually can’t get everything he wants from mom, he has to understand that, and he actually can start, instead of just wanting to just take from mom, he can actually learn how to give to his siblings, and so we’re teaching him responsibilities in the house.
So instead of just going to mom and being, “Mom, mom, mom, can you just spend all the time with me,” be like, “Actually, Elliott, we need your help. Can you go put trash bags in the trash can? Can you go vacuum the floor?”
Jennifer Smith: You got to be able to trust your kids, because Elliott’s been stepping up and doing great, and every time we ask him, require something of him, he’s been fulfilling that. So it’s been great to see the maturity in him.
Aaron Smith: Right. It’s amazing actually. He puts the trash bags in every time I ask perfectly.
Jennifer Smith: One thing that you did mention when I shared this fear with you was the reality that we will miss out. Even if it was just one kid, there are going to be times that we miss out, which means the time that we are present, we need to be so intentional, and that really meant a lot to me.
Aaron Smith: Which is true. Again, the same way we recognize we are weak and that makes God more strong in our life, the other thing we recognize is we are going to miss out. We can’t control everything. We can’t have everything, and we have to be okay with that. We have to be okay that dad’s gone a lot of the day. But when I’m home, I should not be gone at home.
Jennifer Smith: Right. Even if that means on the couch or on your phone. You should be present. You should be engaged.
Aaron Smith: Right. Which is something that the Lord convicts of me every single day. I’m trying really hard to not be on my phone in front of my kids, because I want them to know that they have my eyes when I’m here.
Jennifer Smith: And your heart.
Aaron Smith: But there’s, also, times when I’m around that I have to say, “Daddy’s busy.”
Jennifer Smith: Daddy’s busy.
Aaron Smith: And you need to go play quietly. You need to color.
Jennifer Smith: Yeah.
Aaron Smith: So just understanding that we cannot be everything and all things to our children. We have to recognize where we’re at.
Jennifer Smith: That’s good.
Aaron Smith: And that missing out is a part of life, and that’s got to be okay. I know it doesn’t feel good, but it’s got to be okay.
So why don’t you share with us one more fear that you are currently dealing with knowing that we’re about to have four kids.
Jennifer Smith: I don’t know if everyone can relate to this, but it’s just that fear of losing my personal time, the time that I like to pour into things that I’m passionate about. One of them is spending time with the Lord. I feel like with each kid, I have to really fight for that time, or working and blogging. I feel like I have to really-
Aaron Smith: Or time with your girlfriends.
Jennifer Smith: Or time with my girlfriends. Just going to get a cup of coffee and sharing that time with either myself or with a girlfriend. I feel like the thought of bringing another child would mean now I got to find someone that could babysit four kids. If I want to go on date night with you.
Aaron Smith: That’s $5 a kid for four hours.
Jennifer Smith: That’s a lot. So being conflicted with am I going to lose more me time, and I know that’s really selfish, but it does come up.
Aaron Smith: But it’s real.
Jennifer Smith: Yeah.
Aaron Smith: Right. So I’m going to keep going back to this, because it’s a balance of … It would be easy just to tell you, “Well, you just got to get over it, because that’s selfish,” but the other side of it is the Bible tells us husbands to walk with our wives in an understanding way, and it tells us to love you as Christ loves the church, and it tells us to serve you, and to honor you, and hold you up in honor. So on one hand, recognizing selfishness, recognizing this is my lot in life. This is what God’s given me. I have children to raise to know him.
Jennifer Smith: And having a positive perspective about that.
Aaron Smith: And having a positive perspective, having a biblical perspective, knowing that our jobs as mom and dad is to raise children that know and love the Lord.
Jennifer Smith: Which is a super powerful purpose.
Aaron Smith: It’s the most powerful purpose, that our kids will actually got to heaven.
Jennifer Smith: Yeah.
Aaron Smith: Right. But on top of that, how can I, how can you, as a husband cultivate an environment for you to thrive in that? Not that you just hold all the weight of everything, because remember the Bible tells us that you are the weaker vessel, and that I need to recognize that and be like I can’t just put everything I want on top of my wife and expect you to hold it all up. That’s my job. I should hold everything up, right? So knowing that if I want you to just love your role as a mother, I’m going to give you time to yourself. Do I ever do that for you?
Jennifer Smith: Yeah. I was just going to say I feel like you’ve been really great at embracing this role.
Aaron Smith: This pregnancy.
Jennifer Smith: You’ve been learning with each one. But you do recognize a lot faster now when I’m reaching that breaking point or need a breath of fresh air. Just the other day you came home for lunch and you were like, “Hey, you want to go take lunch by yourself,” and it felt really awkward saying yes, because I thought to myself, “I’m not going to go sit in a restaurant by myself,” but I did it, and it was great. It was so refreshing.
Aaron Smith: She came back, kicked the door open and she’s like, “Hey, kids, let’s go do something.”
Jennifer Smith: I missed my kids. And so it refreshed that positive perspective.
Aaron Smith: Recharged you.
Jennifer Smith: It recharged me.
Aaron Smith: Gave you a new perspective. So on one hand, yes, we need to recognize that it’s a self-dying that happens every day. Not just in our child rearing, raising children.
Jennifer Smith: And be okay with that, embrace it and accept that responsibility from God.
Aaron Smith: On the mother’s part.
Jennifer Smith: On the mother’s part, yeah.
Aaron Smith: But on the husband’s part is a self-dying, also, that I would lay down my life for my wife and say, “You know what? I don’t want to sacrifice my time. I’m going to though, because I want you to feel energy and recharged,” and, also, husbands, dads out there, it’s our job to be leading our family spiritually. Are you giving time for your wife to go and recharge in the word of God?
Jennifer Smith: It’s so important.
Aaron Smith: With no kids around? Not in the bathroom when she’s on the toilet and the kids are trying to come in. This is serious. Like, “Hey, babe, go and just spend an hour or two in the word,” and of course that can’t happen every day. There’s logistics in life. But is it on your mind? Are you saying, “Man, I need to figure out a way to get my wife to just have some her time,” and that’s you dying to yourself and your desires, and lifting her up.
So it’s not just, well, you need to get a right perspective, hun. You need to tough it out, which she does. I do. But you need to tough it out, too, men. You need to lay down your life and say, “Well, I need to make sure that my wife feels loved, cherished. I need to make sure that she has time for herself, so that she can get regenerated, have a bath.” How often am I, “Go take a bath?”
Jennifer Smith: Yep.
Aaron Smith: It doesn’t happen all the time, but once a week maybe I just say, “I’ll draw a bath for you.”
Jennifer Smith: It can be super helpful.
Aaron Smith: I’ll give you a bath bomb.
Jennifer Smith: And some essential oils.
Aaron Smith: I’ll put some essential oils on.
Jennifer Smith: Sometimes music.
Aaron Smith: Yeah. I’ll put some music on, and I put the kids to bed, and it’s just her time, so that she can get her mind rested and her spirit rested, and that’s what we need to be doing. This is what a marriage after God looks like. It’s not just all on my wife.
Jennifer Smith: It’s team work.
Aaron Smith: If you look at almost every scripture in the Bible about children, it’s always tied to the fathers. So that should tell you how much weight should be on you as a father, that you are teaching your children, that you are discipling your children, that you are responsible for your children. You don’t just leave and say, “Oh, my wife’s going to take care of it. My wife’s going to read the Bible to them. My wife’s going to teach them the word of God.”
Jennifer Smith: I will say if you assume that position and you put that weight on your wife, her fears will mount. She will have so many more fears.
Aaron Smith: And those will be legitimate fears, because she is doing it on her own, and she has a husband that’s absent, and you don’t want to be that husband. You’re not that husband.
Jennifer Smith: And because she’ll be so drowning in her own fears, that it will probably stimulate fears to grow inside you. “Oh, is my marriage not going to work out, or are we not ever going to have intimacy, because she’s too tired.” You know what I mean? So it starts spiraling out of control when there’s not a team action.
Aaron Smith: Yeah. So I hope this encourages you today. We’re going to read a couple scriptures to close out.
Jennifer Smith: As we’re talking about fears today, there was a specific scripture that was on my heart that I really want to encourage specifically the moms with, but dads, too. Listen up. It’s in Psalm 34, verse four. It says, “I sought the Lord and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Now when you are acting out of fears or you’re spiraling in your mind out of control because of these fears that you have, and you’re motivated by your fears, you’re not going to the Lord. Everything that you do in that moment is based off of what you believe to be true, which are the lies and the fears that you’re struggling with, and it’s just going to get worse if you do not seek out the Lord, and I’ve experienced this firsthand.
I had an almost total meltdown today, because I was so emotional over these fears that we just talked about, and so it’s really important that we seek after the Lord, and that we come back to His perspective and what His truth is for our life and family.
Aaron Smith: Right. So we walked through a bunch of fears. This is a reality for us. It’s something that we’re going to have to daily go through, and we’re going to be running to the scriptures. I’m going to be taking on my role as a spiritual leader in the home to encourage you, inspire you, remind you of the truth, so that you can walk in it.
Jennifer Smith: And I think it’s really important for me to clearly communicate to you when I am having these fears, when they are coming up in my heart, because if I’m operating in them and letting them spiral in my mind, and I’m not confronting them or talking to you about them, then things are just going to go haywire in our whole family.
Aaron Smith: And then we start feeling crazy.
Jennifer Smith: Yes.
Aaron Smith: So we just want to thank you for watching today, and we just pray that this message encourages you if any of you are going through this right now and walking through fears of a growing family. So if you enjoyed this video, please hit the subscribe button, and, also, hit the bell next to it, so you get notified every time we upload a video.
Jennifer Smith: And please leave us a comment. Let us know if you are planning on growing your family, because we’d love to be excited and praise God with you.
Aaron Smith: Thank you. We’ll see you guys next time.
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